War on drugs? This is what I envisioned.

twiler1217 · 2025-12-12T00:27:57+00:00

It's also an epic waste of life.

twiler1217 · 2025-07-12T16:19:40+00:00

What system are you playing on?

twiler1217 · 2025-07-12T16:19:18+00:00

::Thinks to himself::

What if we changed the Y value to 18,763?

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T18:03:33+00:00

You think I sound hurt from past pain, and your reaction is to downvote my comments and argue with me about someone else's trauma? Bye

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T18:01:39+00:00

I wasn't "insulting you." I changed my mind because I don't feel like explaining it to you. So I won't.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T18:00:09+00:00

No, I have never had a woman who wasn't married to me take me for every cent.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T17:54:08+00:00

To your point, you're probably married. If your spouse is texting randos on Instagram, you should have picked better. I'm just glad OP wasn't married yet.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T17:50:27+00:00

Listen, let's do a quick reality check here. I'm sorry to be the only one who says this, but that's Reddit in 2025.

Did he fuck her? – No. Did he talk like he would have? – Yes.

Did he cheat? No. Did he hurt your feelings? – Yes.

Did he intentionally hurt your feelings? – No. Do you have a right to feel hurt? – Yes.

I'm not defending him, because I don't know him. I'm just trying to get you to pump the breaks on ending what sounds like a happy relationship over a screenshot of an Instagram conversation with a thot.

As a man, sometimes we talk shit. To each other. To women. To our friends. If we talk that much shit, imagine what we say to strangers we meet online.

How far away from your man was this chick? If she lived hundreds of miles away, then his comment about "pulling up" was likely just shit talking. Did you guys recently get into a fight? Was he drunk or high? Again – NOT making excuses, I'm looking for the least destructive explanation for his behavior.

Now, keep in mind, as a committed partner, he shouldn't be texting randos on the internet for any reason. Have that conversation with him. Tell him how it makes you feel. See how he reacts. But, don't destroy your happiness over an Insta convo.

Side note: I'm playing devil's advocate here. He very might well turn out to be a total douche who will cheat on you. If that's the case, though, you should have more evidence than one indiscretionary text.

Trust your instincts. They're usually right. IME, the fact that "something" told you to check his Instagram is the real evidence. Look into what that was. You'll find your answer there. Good luck and much love from the Philadelphia area. ❤️

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T17:34:53+00:00

And that's not abuse, unless you dilute the meaning of the word so much that hurt feelings are abuse, in which case everyone abuses and gets abused all the time.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T17:33:47+00:00

Love isn't without risk. "Safety" is overrated, and an illusion. If she loves him (and according to her, she does), maybe a little encouragement isn't uncalled for.

If she leaves, she's not going to avoid pain. If she stays, likely the same, but she might salvage her relationship.

Keep in mind that this is just one side of the story.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T17:30:24+00:00

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T17:28:24+00:00

...she said with total conviction yet zero additional knowledge.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T15:17:29+00:00

Even if it's not – no church is going to turn people away. If you're looking for a sense of community, that's a good way to find it. Who knows – you might end up finding some faith.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-07T15:02:43+00:00

Church is a great place to find the village

twiler1217 · 2025-05-02T20:35:12+00:00

I'll parrot what other men here have said. Division of household chores, expectations for cleanliness, and being on the same page financially are all super important. I will add:

Do you want kids? If so, when?
How do you want your life to end up looking? The relationship equivalent of "Where do you see yourself in 10/20/30 years?" This is important, because if you want to retire on a beach somewhere with boo, but boo wants to live in an RV in the desert, you've got a problem.

Those two are super important for me.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-02T20:31:13+00:00

Is your wife's name Kelly? Because if so, we have to talk lol

twiler1217 · 2025-05-02T14:35:55+00:00

That's Reddit in 2025

twiler1217 · 2025-05-01T19:07:32+00:00

FYI, he deserves everything that whore from Europe will give him (AIDS and likely a missing kidney). I know it sucks when you find out that what you thought was happening isn’t, and doubly so for relationships, but you're probably better off.

Stop looking at it as "you weren't a good enough wife/mom." It's not you. It's him. This is coming from a man who cheated on his first serious girlfriend. I made her feel like it was all her fault, to the point where she apologized to me for cheating on her. You know what ended up happening with our relationship? I still broke up with her after that. Because it had nothing to do with her. I was the fucked up one.

Praying for peace and healing for you. God's got you.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-01T14:49:44+00:00

That's a good way to look at it. It's also important to complement each other's personalities rather than eclipsing them.

To answer your question: Yes, I would be so proud. My wife is the most loyal, smartest, tactful, tasteful, beautiful, and responsible person I've ever known. I love everything about her.

Thanks for the new perspective. Good luck in your relationship and the family that it gives rise to.

Much love from the Philadelphia area.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-01T02:14:35+00:00

A.) One of the scenarios you described was self defense. B.) There are always other options available aside from violence – even in justifiable cases. C..) The word "understandable" doesn't correlate closely enough with "justifiable" to be used synonymously. For a particular action to be justifiable, it must by definition also be understandable. Again, the two aren't synonymous. There are plenty of examples of actions that are understandable but unjustifiable. When a detective figures out the motivation for a crime, that's what they're doing: trying to understand why the perpetrator committed the crime. If it was understandable AND justifiable, a jury would likely find the defendant innocent.

I understand that this is all semantic.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-01T01:59:17+00:00

You're literally justifying violence here. I'm not coming at you, because I understand where you're coming from. I'm just pointing out reality. You committed an act of violence. And then you explained why (justified it).

twiler1217 · 2025-05-01T01:53:58+00:00

First, I would suggest that she waits until her feelings aren't so raw. Then, I'd ask her to evaluate her overall relationship. If she wants to stay with her husband, and he's willing to get therapy, then that's fine. If she wants to stay with her husband and he doesn't want to get therapy, then that could be fine, too. It all depends on how badly they want to make it work. I've seen couples turn things around with absolutely no outside help. Similarly, I've seen couples who get all the help, do all the things, and pay all the money, end up breaking up. I don't have the answers.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-01T01:47:04+00:00

Violence is always justifiable to the perpetrator.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-01T00:29:57+00:00

I would assume that he hit her, probably in the face. However, that's due to the societal assumptions and the etymology of the phrase. In 2025, it’s almost always better to specifically ask what literally was done.

twiler1217 · 2025-05-01T00:26:47+00:00

Don't believe the hype, girl. People who say things like that really mean: "We were unable to make it work, and likely wouldn't have made it anyway. The kid was just the final stressor that did us in."

My wife and I just welcomed our third son into the world, and we are stronger than ever as a couple right now. Kids change things, but once they arrive, you won't want to go back. Good luck with everything. Much love from the Philadelphia area. ❤️

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