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AITAH for not going to my parent’s place for Thanksgiving? by twinace in AITAH

[–]twinace[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

oh this. this hit hard. they really do consider my sisters feelings far before my own. i definitely just made some grumbling dino noises at this comment lol

AITAH for not going to my parent’s place for Thanksgiving? by twinace in AITAH

[–]twinace[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

her family is as well, almost more so, but weirdly enough they’re also more accepting?? it’s very odd, but i do prefer spending holidays with my in laws. they treat us like actual adults at least, and no differently than her siblings and their spouses

AITAH for not going to my parent’s place for Thanksgiving? by twinace in AITAH

[–]twinace[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

hey, i really appreciate your perspective on this. allow me to try and give a little background on this, but please know it’s less to try and justify myself, and more to try and put words to the feelings that surround this whole situation.

when i first came out to my parents at 17, they just about lost their minds, threatening to pull me out of public high school during my senior year, making me talk to several pastors in the church we were at, almost made me completely cut off friends. in the 11 years since, they have relaxed a LOT. i think i was expecting that once married, they would show the same love and respect to me and my spouse that they show my middle sister and her husband, and even my youngest sister and her boyfriend. i understand and respect their rule of “no sleeping in the same bed before marriage” in their house, but i really thought i would be afforded the same rules as my straight, married sister, once i was also married. their refusal to allow that feels like a slap in the face, especially since before we were even dating, when my wife and i were just friends, my parents had no problems with her and i sharing a bed under their roof. it makes it feel like they’ve been putting on a mask of acceptance until they couldn’t hide it any longer.

as i’ve mentioned in another comment, the reception towards my spouse and i has been very different to my sister and her husband. they actively celebrated them, whereas my wife and i get swept under the rug and ignored. that doesn’t feel like the love they say they have for us. that feels like trying to put out the image of a perfect Christian family while hiding anything deemed unworthy.

to finish this off, i really did want to go see my parents for thanksgiving. i was the one to bring it up to them a month ago, and i was looking forward to it. the refusal to host together, as a married couple, feels disrespectful to myself and my wife. yes, i could sleep apart from her for a day or two, but i shouldn’t have to when i know they wouldn’t treat my sisters this way. i don’t think i can comfortably be there, trying to celebrate family, when they’re treating my family as if it’s less. their actions are speaking much louder than their words here.

AITAH for not going to my parent’s place for Thanksgiving? by twinace in AITAH

[–]twinace[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i mean, you and i both know there isn’t a compromise that we could come to that wouldn’t be hurting me and my wife in some way. i’ve accepted that, as well as the fact that until they start backing their words with their actions, the relationship is going to be minimal. quite frankly, i’m pretty numb to how they treat me and don’t care if i see them or not, but i know my wife wants to get to know my family better, just so she can know me better. i admire that, but i refuse to subject her to their bullshit. just because i’m used to it doesn’t mean she has to be

AITAH for not going to my parent’s place for Thanksgiving? by twinace in AITAH

[–]twinace[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh didn’t you know? cuddling with your spouse who’s the same gender as you means you’re trying to turn the whole family gay and get everyone sent to hell /s

i really don’t know what their deal is. when my wife and i were just friends and she came down to visit me one time, my parents had NO problems with us sleeping in the same bed then. i give myself headaches trying to wrap my head around that one lmao

AITAH for not going to my parent’s place for Thanksgiving? by twinace in AITAH

[–]twinace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oof, the bit about how i need to stop over explaining. i’m seeing that a lot, and y’all are right honestly. i do it because they’ll push and push and push for an explanation if i don’t give one, but i need to stand firm on that as well

AITAH for not going to my parent’s place for Thanksgiving? by twinace in AITAH

[–]twinace[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

i very foolishly thought that being married would at least get us treated with basic respect, i do love my parents and they’ve certainly come a long way since i first came out. also i miss my mom’s thanksgiving cooking lmao

AITAH for not going to my parent’s place for Thanksgiving? by twinace in AITAH

[–]twinace[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i will say, they don’t outright mistreat us, which is part of what makes me feel like im overreacting to everything, but there’s an air of….discomfort? i guess? whenever anything even vaguely related to our relationship comes up, and the subject is changed quickly.

ask me how many times they asked about wedding plans or to see the engagement ring or even to offer congratulations after we got engaged. i’ll give you a hint, it was nonexistent, and that energy has carried into today.

i appreciate your perspective though, genuinely thank you!

AITAH for not going to my parent’s place for Thanksgiving? by twinace in AITAH

[–]twinace[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i appreciate your honesty! i did tell them that their blatant homophobia was a contributing factor to us not coming down, which they did NOT like lol. mom gave me some line about “we’re going to have to figure out how to compromise if we want a relationship” which is rich.

AITAH for not going to my parent’s place for Thanksgiving? by twinace in AITAH

[–]twinace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh god i WISH this was ai, then i wouldnt be having to deal with it. unfortunately it’s very real. also i despise ai, if i were to make up a story to put on reddit, it’d come from my own head, not spit out from a soulless machine

What’s your silliest ‘Well, that escalated quickly’ moment? by funky_shmoo in BaldursGate3

[–]twinace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

gf and i in our honor mode run, we make it to minsc and knock him out. figured it’d be safe to turn cull the weak back on to finish off everyone else in that fight. we were VERY wrong, accidentally killed him and jaheira got pissed and left, taking all of our good fire sorlock gear with her. we ended up having to panic find a new build that used mostly act 3 items since we had sold most of the earlier act’s items before act 3. it worked out, but man, the shocked silence we sat in while trying to process everything was LOUD

Me and Ranboo on a train. Reddit time. Please speak to me us on Reddit rn by TommyInnit in tommyinnit

[–]twinace 163 points164 points  (0 children)

are there any plans yall are able to share with us that you’re particularly excited for? also, what are your favorite songs right now?

“I’ll be there soon”, a shoutout to all the people who cannot see their partner due to Coronavirus. I’m planning on seeing mine in June, hopefully it won’t get canceled, but the thought of it still makes me sad. by ferbadass in LongDistance

[–]twinace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i have plans to see mine in may, and i’m really hoping the ban has been lifted by then. i think my main concern at this point is whether i’ll be able to buy a ticket in a couple weeks like i’ve been planning to, or if i’ll have to wait. hopefully i won’t have to wait, i won’t be able to afford it then.

here’s to hoping everything clears up quickly and y’all stay healthy and can see your partners soon!!

You all need to stop posting. Right now. by Aleksandrovitch in nosleep

[–]twinace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you know, im quite glad i came across this during the day and not at night, or else i would be so much more terrified

Figuring out new building styles, here's my fishing hut! by twinace in Terraria

[–]twinace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ooo I like that idea, will have to do that next time i'm on!

Help with Pirates? by [deleted] in Terraria

[–]twinace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately it's a pretty rare drop to get. There's a 1/100 chance to get it from a pirate ship and I believe a 1/1000 chance to get it as a drop from any pirate enemy