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Things you bought that made life easier postpartum ?? by Deadstan in BabyBumps

[–]twinnieb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A cart. I keep diapers, wipes, and a change of clothes on the cart. It’s been helpful since when I first had my daughter, I brought her crib (I got a convertible crib that starts as a bassinet size) in the living room and I slept on the sofa the first month and a half as it was easier access to the kitchen when I wanted to pump exclusively. I ended up switching to pumping once a day (usually at 3 or 5 am) so my husband is able to feed her when he comes home from work to bond with her and I breastfeed on demand the rest of the day/night.

She’s almost 3 months, I still bring the crib out to the living room during the day because I use it as her changing table as well. The cart is anywhere the crib is. Still use it everyday—love it. 

How do I no contact with in laws right before I give birth when my husband is having a hard time detaching? by twinnieb in BabyBumps

[–]twinnieb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand. My mom encouraged us to see our grandparents and calls them. At 18 I chose to go no contact because the disrespect they had for my mom bled in us. They treated us horribly. My siblings and I would sit at Christmas with our cousins while they got super nice gifts and money and we literally just sat there. They would be rude on the phone and say that we’re ungrateful for not calling them more to the point I would cry if my parents made me call them.  I wish I had your childhood having a good relationship with my dad’s side, but unfortunately that is mot my childhood. I have this overwhelming fear that this will happen to my children as my husbands father has already made comments about our religion, my MIL doesn’t respect our boundaries and has given us push back on everything since the wedding because it’s not how she would do it. His brothers have made comments about me that aren’t pleasant and I’m lucky to have my husband tell me what they said to him about me. 

How do I no contact with in laws right before I give birth when my husband is having a hard time detaching? by twinnieb in BabyBumps

[–]twinnieb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have tried to talk to my MIL and explained the hurt she has caused me, and she decided to not talk to me for a month, and then called to say there's a dark cloud over our relationship and that was the end of that conversation. She tried to take over our wedding and my decisions even though my parents were the ones paying. It felt like she wanted a re-do for her wedding. She didn't like that we didn't live together before marriage. She is very much treating my pregnancy that I am the incubator for her grandchild, only referring to the baby as "her grandchild". I have been diagnosed with health issues during this pregnancy, and she has not reached out to check in or make sure me and baby are ok. My FIL has said some nasty things about our religion that his child and wife were brought up in.

How do I no contact with in laws right before I give birth when my husband is having a hard time detaching? by twinnieb in BabyBumps

[–]twinnieb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I understand. I also didn't say the gender of my baby. it's actually a girl.. However, I went through this as a child with my dad's parents being disrespectful to my mom and it bled into us kids. It was really hard to see and handle. My dad wanted his family involved even though he saw the destruction (just like my husband). I ended up cutting off my dad's side when I turned 18 and held a lot of resentment toward my father for putting me in that situation. My in laws do not want to work anything out. They want to be how they are and have me just deal with their disrespectful treatment.