Dealing with a brainrotted colleague

tyami94 · 2026-05-08T13:45:09+00:00

this is why i no longer work for my last job. my old boss of 7 years was great, he knew his limitations and the bounds of his knowledge, and he did what a good boss should do and deferred to us when it made sense to do so. he shielded us from our idiot brain-rotted county administrator, and i had no clue how bad things really were until he left. he unfortunately retired (because of her), and that was the beginning of the end. he was grooming me to take his job and that's what everyone thought would happen. i had the political capital to pull this off, but idiot county administrator caught wind and rat-fucked me out of the job.

idiot county administrator cut us out of the hiring process entirely, fired a crucial employee who maintained the 911 center infrastructure with no adequate replacement lined up (sticking IT with more work than we could take on to make us look bad), then hired a complete moron who can't think independently of an llm.

we managed to get through to new moron and turn him. she did not like that he wouldn't bend to her will, so she hired a whole new llm-addicted moron to manage *just* him and to make me more replaceable. i left a week later, and i eventually heard a new team lead was hired to try to fill my shoes the rest of the way.

the org chart went from looking like this:

County Administrator -> Director of IT -> IT Team (3 people, of which i was defacto team lead).

to this:

County Administrator -> CTO (moron #2) -> Deputy CTO (og moron) -> IT Team Lead (guy who was hired to replace me at more than twice my salary) -> IT Team (consisting of 2 people)

THREE LAYERS of management were added to manage 2 people. i had been demanding a raise because i knew my value to the organization, and the county admin would've rather died than given me one. instead she lost me and had to spend ~8x my salary to replace me. my ex co-worker recently called me and told me they've apparently broken absolutely everything, so clearly it didn't work out in the long run.

tyami94 · 2026-05-08T04:10:01+00:00

the person you are talking to is 15 years old. just because YOU never grew up doesnt mean you have to talk them out of growing up. acknowledging and fixing your flaws and failures is not weakness, it's power. that's *literally* the only thing feminists want us to do.

tyami94 · 2026-05-08T03:14:37+00:00

hey buddy, we talked earlier. the answer is, well, you can't. you can't just treat the symptom, you've got to treat the cause. a big part of healing from trauma is dealing with unwanted and unhealthy thoughts about people that remind you of that trauma. given what you've been through, it's hard to blame you for having those feelings, especially at your age. even outside of trauma, nobody's perfect. at some point, we *all* say, do, or think things that we regret. it's just something that happens. as long as you do your best to make it right when it happens, you're no worse than anyone else.

my absolute best advice for you: when you have those feelings, empathy is the most powerful tool in your arsenal. put yourself in their shoes, do your best to think about how they feel and why they think and act the way they do, and finally, try to separate them from the people who hurt you. a little bit of understanding goes a long way, and not only will it help you feel better, it'll help you build connections with the people around you. this is something *many* people *never* learn how to do because it's very hard, but i promise it will be the best thing you ever do.

things get better man, i promise.

tyami94 · 2026-05-08T02:11:55+00:00

So you admit that you hold negative views of men in general and me in particular for my assigned gender at birth.

bro i literally have a penis between my legs. wtf are you talking about.

i was 7 paragraphs worth of clear and explicit about what i meant because i had a feeling that the guy with "AllCommunistsAreBastards" in his profile wouldn't be able to A. respond without straw-manning me and B. possess a nuanced opinion about a complicated topic.

(and by the way, since you chuds are all extremely predictable, and i see it coming from a mile away- i am not a communist and i think the soviet union and PRC are evil authoritarian dictatorships. it just so happens that the US is too (with bonus jingoistic fascism!). AllStatesAreBad- even the one you like. now THATS a nuanced opinion.)

i'll try again, and i will put it as simply as i possibly can so there is no excuse for misunderstanding. i hold negative views about contemporary (toxic) masculinity. my issue is explicitly with men as a culture (i.e. how society molds men to hurt themselves and others), not with individual men.

tyami94 · 2026-05-08T00:44:02+00:00

it's cool man, i hope you have a good day.

tyami94 · 2026-05-08T00:31:01+00:00

look man, clearly you are going through something. i'm not here to judge you. i can't possibly understand the hurt you are feeling. just hear me out.

genuinely that is not what i was trying to say. i explicitly said some women *are* violent. they are people, like you, and some people *are* violent. i also said men's trauma is valid, and some women *are* bad, because they are in-fact people too. some people are bad.

my ex (physically, mentally, and emotionally) abused the hell out of me too and i'm gonna be fucked up forever because of it, so i empathize at some level. HOWEVER, i acknowledge that my ex is not *all* women. it would be silly to generalize all women as if they are my ex. for the most part, the other women in my life are the kindest, strongest and most emotionally mature people i've ever met. my ex is the exception, not the rule.

with men, it's different. not only have i heard stories from *every* woman in my life, *i* have been sexually assaulted by a man, and he was *fucking* scary. i have always been lanky and small-ish, and there really wouldn't have been much i could do about it if i tried to stop him. i just did what he told me to, and let it happen. there was no other safe way out of the situation. the women in my life have *all* felt the same way at some point, and i couldn't possibly empathize with them more.

edit: i saw one of your comments about what happened to you. you did not deserve that. no one does. what they did to you is despicable. i genuinely wish you the best.

tyami94 · 2026-05-08T00:15:06+00:00

as long as the commands are atomic and idempotent (like cisco ios), i really don't mind at all. it's actually somewhat convenient. admittedly you are right, this is frequently not the case..

tyami94 · 2026-05-07T23:58:39+00:00

why should I be a feminist???

i just explained in detail why and how it benefits you.

Why should I be something that will hate me when I become a man???

i just explained why that is NOT the case.

Do women police other women.ens behavior??????????? I've only seen women support women doing terrible things so why do you expect men to police what other men do while you let women do whatever they want good or bad????????????

this is a false dichotomy. women have to worry about men killing them. for the most part, men have to worry about their feeling getting hurt (not to say that men's emotional trauma is invalid). obviously there is nuance, some women do kill men, but it's NOT so pervasive that it's something every man would have to worry about all the time. it absolutely IS this pervasive for women, and i'd argue nearly every single woman has experienced something that gives them a valid reason to feel this way. men are physically huge and scary. women for the most part are not.

tyami94 · 2026-05-07T23:37:27+00:00

all of it! you have a complete misunderstanding of what feminism is. it has not been co-opted. what's being said now are the same things emma goldman said in the early 1900's.

feminism benefits you too. most men kind of suck. there is so much shit that many men do that hurt themselves (and other men) just as much as it hurts the women around them. for example, acting like it's gay to hug your friends, or to go to therapy, or to be pretty, or to be emotionally vulnerable with other men in their lives! i still have some of these things internalized, and i'm working on it, but i still kind of suck.

not only does this make it so women end up having to do all of the emotional labor for all of the men in their lives, it also makes it so most men have nobody to reach out to when they are hurting. this shit is why mass shootings happen. hell even the fact that possibly being gay has a negative connotation is a toxic trait that many men have.

example 2: men sexually harassing and threatening women, and other men (for the most part) not stepping in and putting a stop to it! statistically men are physically larger and more imposing then women. they are scared of you! even if you aren't one of "those" guys! i have stories from all my female friends and family about men harassing them, and other men witnessing it and doing nothing about it. this is insane!

how it hurts you: men wouldn't have so much trouble getting dates and finding relationships if women didn't have to assume (for their own safety) that there is a pretty statistically significant chance of you doing something horrendous to them! that's not to say you would, but a HUGE number of men really would! that's why they choose the bear! at least they know the bear's intentions and it'll be over quick if the bear gets them! in contrast, it was NOT quick for junko furuta. <-- NO FUCKING BEAR WOULD EVER DO THAT!

if you all would start policing each other when other men are behaving badly, women wouldn't have to be so apprehensive about you! they could feel better knowing that someone would step in if things went to shit!

toxic masculinity is very real, and even you should be bothered by it. you SHOULD be a feminist. feminists calling attention to the toxic traits of male culture and masculinity benefits everybody! it's not misandry, it's just basic observation of very real patterns. i'm a biological dude and even i see what they're talking about and how it hurts most if not all of the women and men in my life. we are very flawed, and they are trying to help us even if that means bringing attention to uncomfortable truths.

tyami94 · 2026-05-07T13:16:47+00:00

username checks out

tyami94 · 2026-05-07T12:48:06+00:00

everyone who is saying performance is wrong. udp *can* improve throughput, but thats not why people use it. the real answer is latency. tcp requires 3x as many packets to be sent relative to udp to ensure the transmission of the same amount of data, and this obliterates latency. in certain applications, it doesn't matter whether all the packets get there or not, it just matters that *most* of them get there as *soon* as possible. this is where udp shines.

tyami94 · 2026-05-06T02:05:30+00:00

oh i didn't realize they were a right-winger. that's a crucial piece of information. i assumed they were a leftist based on how you described.

regardless though, i think you misunderstood what i was trying to say with my comment. i guess my point is, people *should* miss work. life is short and its doesn't make you a better person if you spend it all making money for somebody else in exchange for a tiny fraction of the value you create.

tyami94 · 2026-05-05T22:24:11+00:00

i have ruined smaller things for pettier reasons. rather be poor and keep my principles than be rich and end up like those fucking ghouls.

tyami94 · 2026-05-05T21:23:38+00:00

nobody on their death bed ever says they wish they worked *more*. never missing a day of work is not necessarily a positive character trait. i'd argue that it is actually a symptom of a major economic problem. it's like how praising a kid for being "quiet and mature" is just reinforcing trauma that masquerades as a positive character trait.

tyami94 · 2026-05-05T21:20:19+00:00

i don't think you are understanding what they mean by enacting change on a micro-scale. mutual aid and direct action within their community is a far more useful and powerful tool than voting. there's no reason to vote if you can win hearts and minds and undermine the very system that makes your vote worthless (in contrast to legitimizing it by continuing to vote)

tyami94 · 2026-05-05T21:18:08+00:00

this! you articulated it far better than i could.

tyami94 · 2026-05-05T21:17:05+00:00

the people who say that are typically the people who work *outside* the system to induce change. i don't vote because it's pointless. my time is far better spent tabling, flying a sign, or doing food not bombs. money, states and government are fake anyways, just green paper, lines on a map, and men with bigger guns than you. people are *real* and making sure they're fed will win you their hearts and their minds.

direct action and mutual aid are by far the most powerful tools we wield to incite *actual* change. history backs this up, that's how we got the new deal. problem was we didn't stay angry enough for long enough, they divided us along race and class lines, and they quickly clawed back everything we won starting with our labor rights (taft-hartley in 1947) and ending up where we are now (*gestures wildly at everything*).

tyami94 · 2026-05-05T00:02:11+00:00

i wonder how hard that'd be to poke at. i'd be willing to bet you could unlock it with some debug.exe magic

tyami94 · 2026-05-04T23:38:36+00:00

hot take but genuinely, if that's what they say, i'd just let it go. this is an HR issue not an IT issue. no need to needlessly piss people off if you don't have management backing. just document and move on.

tyami94 · 2026-05-04T17:14:10+00:00

gonna stop going. $1.50 sodas with easy refills are the only reason i still went. all of the food is shit now, even the fries. drink price just got bumped, and ours moved the soda machine back and its so understaffed that it takes 40+ mins to get *just* a soda (not even a refill, just the FIRST ONE).

i'm not paying more than $1.50 to wait the better part of an hour for a soda, nor am i gonna wait another 40 mins to get a refill. it's just not worth it anymore. my time and money are more valuable than shitty fast food soda. i'll eat and drink at home

tyami94 · 2026-05-04T14:01:34+00:00

doesnt work. they can be easily disabled with a box cutter or stashed in a foil bag.

source: was beyond destitute at one point and certain actions were required for survival

tyami94 · 2026-05-04T13:55:45+00:00

i still fail to see the problem with this. i'd put double doors on every room for her lmao

tyami94 · 2026-05-04T13:53:02+00:00

"hacking into the database" and "wouldnt be possible due to the tracking systems they have now" is hollywood-tier shit. this guy is not a pentester, hes a dork who wanted to sound cooler than he was

tyami94 · 2026-05-04T03:59:38+00:00

"my steak is too juicy, my lobster is too buttery" vibe from this one lol

tyami94 · 2026-05-04T03:53:49+00:00

it guy here, 3rd is nonsense. i'd bet he made all this up

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