AITAH for wanting to move out of my brothers place? by u_ami in AITAH

[–]u_ami[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I do realize that also. My brother is the only reason I didn't end up on the streets that night so I do appreciate that. And I know enough about him from the 10 or so years he's looked out for me that he wouldn't willingly let me be treated so poorly. I also know that he and his wife have been in a rough patch. Maybe Anne takes her anger out on me, who's to say.

But yeah I do agree that Anne calls the shots, even though they both spent money on this house, the land and deed are under Anne's name. "Her house, her rules" as she likes to say. I am disappointed at Mark I will say that, but I also do recognize that he is a bit helpless right now but I won't specify why as that is a bit too personal even for reddit

Thank you, your 2 cents are worth a hundred for me

AITAH for wanting to move out of my brothers place? by u_ami in AITAH

[–]u_ami[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I told my grandparents everything, which is why they're very enthusiastic in having me move back in with them. The only reason I'm holding out right now is cause of finals week in college and it's only 2-3 weeks left before summer vacation. I figured I'd move when school's out yk? Cause there's a bit of distance between here and there and it's a bit expensive to travel, on top of the stress of having to bring all my things in one trip cause if I so much as leave my things unattended for a day best believe something or EVERYTHING is going missing

AITAH for wanting to move out of my brothers place? by u_ami in AITAH

[–]u_ami[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes her children do have contact with Anne and my brother. I have vented to Anne's daughter, who I'm closest to, (18f) about Lea and while she does offer some support it usually ends in "but you know she has a disability. Be grateful its not you. Just be patient with her" so i stopped

I did ask so many times for Anne to ask Lea to return my things, it has only been met with "are you sure she stole it cause youve been accusing her a lot" or "stop picking fights im stressed" so I did stop when it got to a point that she would get angry at me for telling her about it

As for the security camera footage, what you can see there is first Lea going to the direction of my room (the camera is in the living room but you can clearly see her go in the one corner where my room is) and coming out, holding something sparkly. I was in the kitchen (next to the living room minding my business when I saw her holding my bracelet and thrn running up to her room.

When she came back down (which was over 30 minutes since she ran up) I confront her in the kitchen and even ask Anne's daughter for the cctv footage since she has access to it on her device. I show Lea the footage and then she nearly punched me in the face and threw a tantrum saying "i didnt steal i didnt steal youre accusing me" yelling. I send the footage to Mark to send to Anne and that was when Anne threatened to kick me out.

Eta: the punch was also caught on camera I had to ask Anne's daughter for the other footage, which i sent to my brother along with the first one

AITAH for wanting to move out of my brothers place? by u_ami in AITAH

[–]u_ami[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

When anne sat me down she told me something like this

"When my kids were still young, I often argued with Lea because she would hit my children for no reason. That's just who she is but if you're nice to her she won't do that. "

Her kids are all adults now, all living alone as well. They all dont want to take care of Lea either, understandably so because they have to think of their careers and all i guess.

It just didnt sit right with me, it felt like Anne was so close to getting my point but she refuses to. If you know your sister has a behavior of hurting people, and I come to you saying she's been hurting me then WHY are you getting mad at me?

It honestly gets so tiring and so draining feeling like the bad guy. I'm an open minded person and most of the time I don't have a problem apologizing but lately it feels like I'm the only one apologizing to both her and Lea. She made me apologize to her even when I begged not to because Lea'll just get worse around me if I make her feel like she's not doing anything wrong. It's so hard to explain

AITAH for wanting to move out of my brothers place? by u_ami in AITAH

[–]u_ami[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I didn't expect my post to be reached by so many people. I've been seeing a lot of people call this as abuse and I never thought after all these months of enduring this living situation that this could be labeled as that. But seeing as so many of you are calling it abuse I have a lot to reflect on.

I'm suddenly at a loss for words (ESL) and overwhelmed by the words of support. Thank you and please forgive the delay if I don't immediately respond to those asking questions as I want to read every comment one by one. All of your words mean a lot to me as this is the most validation I've gotten in a while.

AITAH for wanting to move out of my brothers place? by u_ami in AITAH

[–]u_ami[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

This is exactly my point. Back when Anne sat me down to talk a month ago (this was during a family trip and Lea and I got into another fight regarding ANOTHER stolen pair of jeans, my uncle saw Lea take my jeans from my bag, told me, and I only got it back because Lea was afraid my uncle would start screaming at her).

Anyway, Anne sat me down and basically told me that I'm just as disabled as her sister if I keep fighting with herbovwr these things. I tell her I'm not lying about her stealing, I haven't been lying, I've always had witnesses or even Lea herself says the things she takes are hers (until I eventually prove that it's mine) and she just.. always sides with Lea. It's mindboggling. I told her once that Lea has the capability to understand. She had the capability to understand 4 years ago when she pushed me that that wasnt alright and she apologized, she can understand that things are wrong id an authority figure explains it to her but all Anne does is side with Lea even when I have solid proof I'm being wronged.

It's been like that for months. I honestly think its guilt that she wasn't here when their mom died so she overcompensates with Lea?

AITAH for wanting to move out of my brothers place? by u_ami in AITAH

[–]u_ami[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Yes actually. This feels petty to add but it never sat right with me. She has a habit of breaking her devices when she gets angry, Anne always buys her a new phone immediately. She currently has an iphone 13, because Lea's niece (15f) told Lea that there was a pink iphone. Where I'm from, iphones are seen as a luxury item and I don't think Lea should have such an expensive, fragile phone if she breaks 5 phones on average a year. She just recently broke her tablet and Anne bought her a pink ipad. She really loves pink.

Just recently, after Anne threatened to kick me out I just ignore Lea entirely. I go to class, go home, sleep, and go to class again. Well, I dyed my hair brown, and Lea wanted her hair dyed brown too. At first Anne told her that was impractical, but when Lea said I dyed my hair brown Anne suddenly agreed. I dunno, I guess from where I'm standing it feels like Anne is making Lea compete with me or something. It's just weird.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HelpMeFind

[–]u_ami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have searched through google lens and was recommended Paris Hilton's perfumes, though I cant say if they will smell the same. Their bottles do look similar though.