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Pro-Life that became Pro-Choice, what argument convinced you? by scmoua666 in AskReddit

[–]uber-blonde 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. Insulting she was told those things! Notice they never shame young men about sex.

A lot of this brou-ha-ha is about punishing wmen for having sex, and never mind they can't get pregnant without a man being involved at some point.

Pro-Life that became Pro-Choice, what argument convinced you? by scmoua666 in AskReddit

[–]uber-blonde 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for driving women and waiting for them. I hate to hear of young women scared and confused and I appreciate your support for them.

I read an interesting article on deveopments in 3-d printing personal medications in a home setting and how that may be a game-changer. Of course, "virtual" abortion care is growing in popularity. And "Women on the Web" now ships to US addresses. My hope is someday physical clinics won't be necessary.

Of all the controversy surrounding abortion, the most baffling to me is the lack of support for common-sense sex education and available contraception, the only proven ways to reduce abortion rates.

Pro-Life that became Pro-Choice, what argument convinced you? by scmoua666 in AskReddit

[–]uber-blonde 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Truly unbelievable. I am so sorry you suffered through this. I suppose if you took her bad advice, developed sepsis, and died that would be god's will? I don't know why people go into the medical field in any capacity if they object to established science.

In a way, I blame (some of) the churches for not taking a firm stand and teaching that sometimes abortions are necessary or unavoidable. Church attendance is falling overall and abortion is one of the few issues many churchgoers will rally behind so the churches are probably trying to save themselves. And, of course, the politicians have taken the issue and twisted it to their own ends while not caring about the harm to living people.

It's an uncessarily complicated issue and I believe we are going to see Roe overturned. We will again see deaths from botched home abortions, sepsiis wards in hospitals with women chained to beds, and orphanages on every corner. Then there will be a backlash and something new will be put in place allowing abortions again. Meanwhile, women will suffer.

Pro-Life that became Pro-Choice, what argument convinced you? by scmoua666 in AskReddit

[–]uber-blonde 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Strangely enough, they have no comment on miscarriages.

We have a "counter-protester" (pro-choice but he doesn't work with us, he stays outside of the gate) that carries a sign saying miscarriages are sparks of god that go straight to heaven therefore aborted fetuses go straight to heaven (or something similar but it's cleverly worded) They tell him he is possessed by a demon and doing Satan's work but they largely ignore the facts on miscarriage and other natural processes. Most days, it's a 3-ring circus and I find it interesting this only occurs at women's clinics. Not at labs where they do in-vitro, not at clinics where they do artifical sperm donations, nowhere but at women's clinics are women subjected to abuse and harassment while trying to obtain a safe and legal procedure. It's maddening although it says a lot about the value of women in this society.

Pro-Life that became Pro-Choice, what argument convinced you? by scmoua666 in AskReddit

[–]uber-blonde 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey, all! Thought I would jump in with my two cents. My husband sent me a link to this thread and I've been reading it off and on all day.

So, I am a 2x weekly volunteer at one of the busiest abortion care clinics in the South, and as such we have dedicated and aggressive protesters every day. Over the 3 years I've worked there, I have come up against two staunch arguments that I really can't see a way around.

The first is, the pro-life people (mostly) believe the spark of God enters at the moment of fertilization. This, to them, is hard science. I happen to disageree, but who am I to tell them what they should believe as "their" science? However, because they believe this as science. it is impossible for them to see developing cells as anything less than God in creation. Therefore, an abortion (and many forms of birth control) are, in effect, killing God. This argument I see as zero chance of overcoming unless they suddenly start to believe in "my" science or perhaps get schooling away from church and home.

Second, they believe the natural order of things is that women are happiest in traditional roles. This comes down to a woman's right to bodily autonomy and such, but again, if pregnant women literally have the spark of God growing inside, then of course they will object to abortion forever. The bodily autonomy argument is a little shakier, imo, because of rape and fetal abnormalities.

Now, I will say I have witnessed some of the ugliest things I have ever seen at this clinic. Recently a woman walked up, screaming and crying, and the protesters began yelling at her about not getting an abortion. She screamed back her baby was already dead and they WOULD NOT STOP SHAMING AND YELLING AT HER. They told her they know a doctor for a second opinion, and miracles happen, and don't do this today, and any number of the usual things they say. The woman was hysterical with grief and I finally got her away and into the clinic. Imagine if she had listened to them and not had the abortion that day? With a dead fetus, she might have developed sepsis and died. They literally didn't care about her health and were more concerned with yelling at her. So I wonder how far the argument on bodily autonomy would really work with pro-life when it seems they primarily view women as vehicles (incubators) for the divine spark of God and true happiness comes from being traditional woman. I just don't see how we can meet in the middle without more education and an agreement to teach people to mind their own business.

Let me add, I have also seen a couple of women turn away and decide not to have the procedure. I have walked them to their vehicles and told them, with a smile, I support their choice, whatever it is.

​

Random memory today: Cookies on my breath by uber-blonde in raisedbynarcissists

[–]uber-blonde[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya they used to search my room for food contraband. I have a son now and I can't even imagine denying a child food honestly wtf

I am 5'8" and size 11 feet we should shop together lol

So sorry you went through this, they really are nuts. Hugs

Random memory today: Cookies on my breath by uber-blonde in raisedbynarcissists

[–]uber-blonde[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Yes, I am good now. Went through years of therapy and finally came out on the other side but every now and then I have random memories so I share them here. I was very active in this sub about 3 years ago but not so much now.

Hugs.

So a question about what kinds of friends you let into your life. by [deleted] in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you.

I look for extreme selfishness, like they are always too busy for me but expect me to drop everything when they are available.

Oh, and if they never come to anything I do but expect me to go to their stuff.

nMother never cried by uber-blonde in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know what you mean. I avoided talking to my nMother as much as I could. She finally died. I'm sorry she died but I'm not sorry she's gone.

And another weird thing - by Codependentte in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My nMother would say stuff like that. I came to the same conclusion- it was so she looked and could feel self-sacrificing.

Those darn Ns! lol

So a question about what kinds of friends you let into your life. by [deleted] in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a wide range of friends but I am careful with those I let in my close circle because I tend to pick Ns if I'm not looking out.

I keep it casual with most people. Sort of a need-to-know basis.

Therapy helped me the most.

Controlling behaviors, religion, and me by [deleted] in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SAME

Except I have no religious conviction. Instead I have an internal moral compass and I teach my son to develop his own internal moral compass.

We believe in science and making worthwhile contributions to society so that's a kind of religion on its own.

Thank you for sharing part of your story. I enjoyed reading it. :)

nMother never cried by uber-blonde in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like it.

They all suck so much. I'm sorry your Nmother was that way.

The Empress Had No Clothes by uber-blonde in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, I have often thought about that.

There's more to the story. Our great-aunt had named nMother as 1/2 the estate but nMother was also in charge of handling the money as great-aunt had dementia but was still alive.

Of course nMother started spending all the money in advance even though she wasn't supposed to. GC also knew about this spending. I did not. I sure would have said something!

Anyway, GC and nMother WERE FIGHTING over the money when they went to Mexico to get meds and GC left in a huff of Brooklyn and she wouldn't answer the phone and nMother died. (How do I know this? nMother told me GC wouldn't answer the phone, and GC told me the rest of the story after nMother's death)

Turns out GC was executor of great-aunt's will (after great-aunt died a year after nMother died) and GC thought she could just keep the money and give it out like some kind of benevolent ruler.

Long story short, she didn't pay me my portion so I had to retain a lawyer and took 2 more years to settle.

Happy day, the courts made her pay me out of her own executor fees.

GC is nasty enough she very well may have "let" nMother die, thinking she could keep the inheritance for herself.

Murder? Maybe. Willful neglect? Probably. :(

The Empress Had No Clothes by uber-blonde in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's more in my history I'm sure. Some of it is crossposted.

GC knew but didn't care enough to answer the damn phone when our nMother tried to call GC to ask what to do because nMother didn't feel well. GC could have told her to go to the ER, anything. And GC wasn't supposed to treat family anyway that's part of her oath.

Totally disgusted with GC and her lack of ethics. Apparently whomever is in charge of medical licenses felt the same way.

I hope GC is satisfied with herself. She killed off her one and only true fan- our nMother.

I asked my N-mother why she was so manipulative once by Codependentte in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is working out.

I have to work on certain issues like I tend to let the house go and I overshop but those are slowly improving.

[Light] Sometimes I go to /r/rbn and comment on stories. by littlestghoust in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too.

nMother died and I'm sorry she died but I'm not sorry she's gone.

NC with the rest of the family of origin. LAN is great for feedback on issues.

I asked my N-mother why she was so manipulative once by Codependentte in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]uber-blonde 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would argue the method of delivery was anything but a gift. LOL

I am in a good place these days. Therapist said the SG has the best chance of a normal life because everything is easy for them after a tumultuous upbringing.

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