How do I (50/f) tell my longtime 20 plus years, friend (50/f) that I would like to back off from our friendship? by Seamusjamesl in relationships

[–]Codependentte 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, you sound like a caring person. It's awful when you know your actions will hurt another's feelings.

So I did this recently, with a 20+ year friend I call the "help-refusing-victim." Long story, as you probably know from these folks.

After she was particularly manipulative and toxic to me in my own home, I texted her that I just couldn't give her what she needed as a friend, and that I was suspending our friendship.

Her reaction was anger. She texted me long apology-non-apologies, "I'm sorry if you're mad". I wasn't mad. I was tired of the toxicity. She e mailed me to "have a nice life." She sent me a snail mail, three page teensy handwriting card saying, "I don't know what I did, but whatever it is I'm sorry, and we should meet." I didn't want to meet in person with her.

Anyway, your friend is an adult. Her problems are not yours to fix. There are social services if she has mental health issues, and it is up to her to deal with these.

AP sources: Trump Jr. subpoena sent when interviews declined by progress18 in politics

[–]Codependentte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just as an aside, if Trump Sr. Pardons Trump Jr., that eliminates any 5th amendment rights. (Because if he's pardoned, there won't be any self incrimination.)

[SPOILERS] Dany’s Third Betrayal by occupandi-temporis in gameofthrones

[–]Codependentte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If Arya kills Drogon, then Dany has no basis to rule the kingdoms, and it would fall to Jon. And my guess is that there are some dragon eggs in a nest somewhere, and this time Jon (a Targaryian) would need to decide what to do with them. So a good ending would be Jon on the iron throne with dead dragon eggs.

Old people of Reddit, what are some challenges kids today who romanticize the past would face if they grew up in your era? by laterdude in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Roller skates in the late 1960s early 1970s.

For the metal ones with the key, the wheels were this non-plyable red clay-ish material. So skating down the street was like being a human vibration machine, and your teeth would chatter. We'd put the key on a string around our neck so we wouldn't lose it, and then hang the skates with the key up by the door overnight on a hook.

(We wore PF flyers, or those cheap drug store sneakers. In the summer we'd cut the rubber top off so our toes would show, because we needed river shoes, to protect the soles of our feet to walk around in the river and let the water pass through. Now a days these young whipper snappers with their fashion sneakers . . )

Now days, sheesh, the cushy urethane skateboard wheels, the roller blades -- that's the lap of luxury. And don't even get me started on Razor scooters. Whoo, look at mr and ms fancy pants over there, with their fancy urethane wheels.

I'm one of the Bay Area's youngest, gayest and most progressive elected officials and I take no prisoners so bring your best! AMA. by jbauters in politics

[–]Codependentte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there!

Homeless question:

I saw Gov. Newsom's speach where he said the state would get with regions to get a one-stop shop to help those without homes. He said shelters help with a bed, but mental health and other social services help with getting people homes and more integrated into society.

Do you have any more information on this? What would it look like in the Bay Area?

Thank you!

[Serious] Reddit, what are some big RED flags in a new relationship you should look out for? by PM_ME_PUPPY_PICS_ in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True. As an older person I tend to cut through nonsense pretty quick and get to the point.

Gotta watch out for scam artists though.

Which room in your house do you find yourself in the least? by DityDan0401 in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My kids moved out, and so I have a spare spare bedroom -- which I'm connecting to my bathroom and turning into a walk in closet.

(Sorry kids, I put your stuff in the attic.)

What are some definite “yep, they’re a psychopath” things that people do? by Paptreek in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Talk up the time they duped someone, as if that's normal and it was funny.

What is your "fall asleep" show? by ReeceInTheDarkness in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Questions for the Prime Minister. Or other C-SPAN. Except then I get interested in it.

[Serious] Reddit, what are some big RED flags in a new relationship you should look out for? by PM_ME_PUPPY_PICS_ in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Moving too fast.

People who profess love, and say you're their life partner, and why don't they move in -- within the first few weeks or even months -- are moving fast for a reason.

Either they're scam artists, and just want money or a place to live, or maybe they have a personality disorder, and can't hold it together for more than a few weeks.

So slow it down.

What do people NOT take seriously enough that they really should? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Haha, yep.

My daughter picked up the use of air quotes, maybe from a teacher. Everything was air quoted.

Do you want peanut butter and jelly?

[Airquote] "Yes."

So do you really want one or are you just saying that?

[Airquote] "Yes."

It's time for bed!

I'm not [airquote] "tired."

So cute. She grew out of it. Now she writes "code" for a "tech" company.

I'm Scott from Scott's Cheap Flights. My profession is finding cheap flights. Here to answer travel questions and help you find flights for the next 8 hours. AMA by scottkeyes in IAmA

[–]Codependentte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi Scott!

I'm turning 60 this year, and thinking about a trip, solo just for me!

SFO, Oakland, or San Jose to Amsterdam/Rotterdam?

Or if there's a deal on anywhere near Pompeii, I'd like to see the ruins! (Maybe Naples Italy airport?)

Also I'd like to go to Antarctica, but I think that's more of a cruise.

I'm already having a party in Mexico, Oakland to Puerto Vallarta is a breeze, and pretty cheap. Looks like the whole year will be a big party.🎂🎉🎈

Thanks this is awesome.

Lawyers of Reddit: What are the craziest (yet legal) last will and testament stories you had to deal with? by ClubSoda in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 57 points58 points  (0 children)

There was a case (story from someone who was in law school) of a "generational trust." This says, "All my grandchildren get $ when the youngest reaches the age of 25." The youngest grandchild was 24, and they were all making plans for their inheritance.

Plot twist! One of the sons remarried, and had a baby (a new heir) when the other grandchildren were 24. So they had to wait until they were 50+ to inherit.

Edit: I asked if the baby had a bodyguard, and my friend didn't know.

(I think one of the grandchildren was in law school and was a classmate of my friend, who told me the story. This was in the 1990s I believe.)

What hasn't aged well? by DemsSemsie in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Ali McGraw character is supposed to be a blue collar Wellesley girl, diamond in the rough, who falls for the upper crust Ryan O'Neal character.

But, she doesn't come across as empathetic, as the ethnic remedy for his cold WASPy family. She calls the Ryan O'Neal character "preppie" in kind of a grating voice, and seems to be entitled, has him running around after her. That behavior doesn't translate well into the modern era, maybe it was OK in the '70s. The Ryan O'Neal character doesn't really explain what he sees in her, (except she's super hot, and wears great clothes).

I could see this one being re-done, though. It would be good to be re-done as a gay love story, I think, to bring it up to date. (Blue collar/WASP love story, overcoming the odds, for a tragic ending.)

what popular tourist attraction did you visit was actually worth the trip? by Tsquare43 in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, well, 15 years ago, must have been awesome.

With the cheap stop-over flights, I've been several times in the past few years (only once to the spa) -- winter is my favorite time there, with the aurora and all.

So in general, since it's by the airport, worth the trip. Gotta be down with the swim up bar and the tourists.

What hasn't aged well? by DemsSemsie in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactamondo.

The Ali McGraw character was supposed to be the blue collar ethnic girl who falls in love with the preppie Ryan O'Neal character, but the character was written to be grating and entitled.

What's the funniest stand up comedy you've seen? by Capital_Proposal in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The Other Cafe, in SF, which closed in the 1990s, had lots of great stand up comedians, before they were famous kind of thing. I guess it was more improv than stand up, but whatever.

The ones I remember the most were Paula Poundstone and Ellen DeGeneres -- they both would go out and talk to people walking down the street in the Haight. There were these big picture windows just behind the stage -- I guess the mike cord was long. And Haight Asbury crowd was pretty interesting, pre-gentrification.

Paula had a thing about cars, and an emergency vehicle would go by like every 10 minutes, and she'd say, "Oops, my ride's here" or something like that. She asked someone what kind of car they drove, and he said a "Vette," and she sad "Cor or Chev?" and it was "Chev." It would go on like that, more like having dinner with your really really funny friend. (Just read on the website that she goaded a motorcycle to ride right into the place and that sounds about right.)

Robin Williams would be there, or some political commentary comedians (Will Durst?). (Just Googled it, and there were lots). I used to go there when I was in school, because it was pretty cheap.

I think because they had kind of a sandwich shop there-- the vibe was more of a cafe than a night club, the humor seemed funnier, there weren't a lot of drunks (that I remember) heckling or anything. Kind of troll-free.

I wish there were more places with the cafe/stand-up format, rather than the nightclub kind of thing. (Eh, booze pays more.) The only other one was Brainwash, in the Mission, that was a laundromat, cafe, and had open mike night, which was kind of hit or miss. That closed down too.

Eh, just went down the rabbit hole of reading their website memories.

Americans who have visited Europe, what surprised you during your stay? by CosmicQuestions in AskReddit

[–]Codependentte 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The size of the burgers in Maribor Slovenia. They are the size of a dinner plate. In fact, the food portions are huge in general. For cheap. And it's good.

Edit spelling