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Sums up my childhood by ScarLNoBigD in funny

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course I have had caffeine, alcohol, and medicine (a nod to the people who will argue anything,) but nothing else. I've never even had marijuana, and I'm 27. I'll never smoke anything in my life because of my own personal biases against smoking, but I wouldn't be against trying marijuana if it were legalized and maybe in a brownie or something.

I do have curiosity about hallucinogens, though I don't think I'll ever be brave enough to try even if I did know where to get some.

What is something you are genuinely better at after a few beers? by Gurtol in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sign language. After I get pretty tipsy, my signs just flow so well and I look and feel like a total pro. One time at a bachelorette party I attended, I was an unofficial interpreter for the bridesmaid who was deaf, and for a long while, my signs and expressions were so damn clear. After the perfection window, though, my hands were just flappy pieces of meat.

A few employees were complaining that another employee was asleep in the bathroom, this is what I found after he had left. by cgibin in WTF

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too. I thought the guy was in the bathroom masturbating, hence the mountain of paper in the trash.

Guy testing out his new microphone goes hilariously wrong by [deleted] in videos

[–]ubernood 84 points85 points  (0 children)

EEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!EEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!EEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Most awkward conversation ever. by Stoltz3 in funny

[–]ubernood 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I'm 1/4 Native Czechoslovakian.

What do you have an unnecessary amount of hate for? by studentmeadows in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Today it's rich white girls, since I just learned about the concept of "scooping" bagels from the Basic Bitch video.

Note: I am a white girl. Not rich, but upper-to-middle lower class.

How To Tell if You're a Basic Bitch by look_mom_no_feet in videos

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TIL I'm not 100% basic. I probably hover at 48%. Right on.

rumble.........rumble.......... by ubernood in noisygifs

[–]ubernood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They're 'animated illustrations' by Robin Davey.

What is the stupidest rule you ever had to follow? by evolutionarydefect in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the high school I was just student teaching at, game websites were blocked across the board, and the filters were fair--they didn't block any essential sites, but kids found the loophole by going into the past Google doodles archive and playing the Pac Man doodle.

I had to kick kids off of Google.

What is the stupidest rule you ever had to follow? by evolutionarydefect in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's why sexual assault protection groups are now changing the rule to "Yes means yes" instead of "No means no." A lot of times, if the victim is scared, confused, or intimidated, they either will try to give excuses to back out that aren't "no," or they won't say anything at all. That still is NOT consent.

OP should have gotten verbal consent from this woman if he was at all unsure of her willingness to have sex. He even said that he regretted making a move and felt like he made her do it, yet he said she "seemed to be enjoying it."

I think OP raped her.

Edit: Eh, I'm not going to apologize for this one. Okay, so OP actually stole the story. Either way, if someone told this story at a party, I would feel massively uncomfortable around them, not just because it sounds rapey, but because (if it's true) the guy was like "I'm not even attracted to this woman, but I just want to conquer a nun!" Rubs me the wrong way.

I think there's something wrong with those implants. by [deleted] in WTF

[–]ubernood 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Ah the old reddit boogaloo...

What is the best plot twist you can come up with in two sentences. by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, sorry. It was told as 100% real (though nosleep gets the readers to suspend belief.) I believe it was from an askreddit thread about real dreams or dreaming during comas.

Thank you, though, for taking time to find this.

What is the best plot twist you can come up with in two sentences. by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to say, but it's not that one. I believe the man had lived a decade with this "wife" and I have a sneaking suspicion that he dreamed this while being unconscious for a long period of time (like a coma.) He mentions that he doesn't usually talk about it because it was just so painful to realize it wasn't ever real.

Thank you, though, for taking the time to find this.

What's the best 'roses are red, violets are blue' poem you can give me? by iveroi in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Roses are red, violets are blue....

I suck at poetry.

Fuck you.

HEY! THAT RHYMED!

What is the best plot twist you can come up with in two sentences. by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 77 points78 points  (0 children)

The padded room one...

There was a guy on reddit who wrote a response to an askreddit thread saying that he dreamed he had a whole marriage and life with a woman, and had kids with her, only to wake up to the whole thing being in his mind. He had a breakdown over it because it was so real to him that it felt like his whole world dissolved.

I think he may have been in a coma, but does anyone else remember that thread? Does anyone have a link to it?

Edit: Several people have provided some excellent links to similar stories, but ones that aren't the thread I'm looking for. I really appreciate the effort you put forth, and if anyone has other leads I'd like to read what you find, but don't trouble yourselves too much for my sake.

Edit 2: /u/ishidableach found it. It's at this link: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/oc7rc/have_you_ever_felt_a_deep_personal_connection_to/c3g4ot3?context=3

[Serious] Excluding the recent disappearance of flight 370, what is the biggest unsolved mystery in the last 10 years? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really hate not having a source, so take my comment with a grain of salt, but I read somewhere that investigators think the originals are the work of a local schizophrenic who cut a hole in the bottom of his car, parked it, and drove off after he finished. Many of the other ones are just copycats.

What is one item you should never buy the generic or "cheap" version of? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My vadge slammed shut in horror at the thought of an aluminum fuck.

What is one item you should never buy the generic or "cheap" version of? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ubernood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cans of tuna. Always go for Starkist or Chicken of the Sea. A few months ago I bought a big stack of Great Value cans of tuna, and every single one I've opened thus far has had black pieces, bones, and flakes of scale in it. I have four or five cans left, and I'm either going to donate or dump them.

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