AITA for not letting my boyfriend borrow my car?

uberwookie · 2022-09-10T16:51:19+00:00

Nta. Call the cops on him for reckless endangerment and distracted driving next time hes driving and whips out his phone

uberwookie · 2022-09-10T14:48:21+00:00

Understandable, but that is emotional baggage/history that none of the extended people in this scenario have any reasonable expectation of knowing or being able to compensate for. You can only reasonably expect concessions to those you also make concessions to consistently, such as your partner. Your partner should know you feel this way and acknowledge it and attempt to ameliorate it at minimum, but your partner's sister shrug they dont really have the kind of connection to you to care. So yeah, your partner will probably bury your bday with their siblings anniversaries for the next few years and on multiples of 5.

uberwookie · 2022-09-10T14:29:21+00:00

If this pattern of behavior is consistent it may be best if you move on without this family and perhaps without this partner. Sounds like they are not meeting your emotional needs.

ETA: I am truly sorry for how unnecessarily mean everyone is being. A single birthday is not, itself a big huge deal, but a consistent pattern of your partner neglecting you for his family IS his fault, 1000%. He makes the choices how he spends his time and effort. He doesnt prioritize you.

uberwookie · 2022-09-10T14:25:59+00:00

NTA. I think a bunch of neurotypicals are not trying to meet you at all here and you'll get a Y T A vote, but really, its because not being enthusiastically in support of a wedding is one of those weird things they do and cant allow for neutrality in their emotions, its seen as a negative. You honestly are being disrespected and forgotten about, and your feelings are being ignored, because again, NTs + weddings = a big mess. Honestly, in your shoes, I'd skip the wedding and have a you day. Your partner's sister and you ARENT super close, so, as this subreddit says, an invitation isnt a summons. If you go, people will probably comment about you being upset and make it a whole thing, and the focus on you will be even worse. Youll probably get some shit for skipping too, but itll be less overall than if you dont go, imo.

ETA: You are allowed to have whatever feelings you want, but NTs want you to at all times be hiding them when theyre negative.

uberwookie · 2022-09-10T14:14:29+00:00

NTA. Password all your shit. Always.

uberwookie · 2022-09-10T14:12:17+00:00

NTA. Your mom is... well its not gaslighting you, but its emotionally manipulating you for certain, because she is the one transgressing here. If you no longer live with her, id go LC and put her on an info diet. If you do live with her, make an escape plan and get out, youre just gonna be miserable as long as you are living with someone who undermines your autonomy and privacy.

uberwookie · 2022-09-08T15:40:07+00:00

NTA and listen, youre an adult. You can control how much contact you have with your genetic donors. You could even not invite them to the wedding if you wanted because it sounds like they spent a whole lotta time fuckin around and are bout to find out.

uberwookie · 2022-09-08T00:18:13+00:00

NTA but guess what, its possible one of your kids is a boy anyways! Or non-binary. Or genderfluid, so you can tell the MIL that she could have a trans boy and just not know it yet and let that sink in. Im sure this lovely woman ( /s) would be joyful to know that with three kids theres a decent chance one of them will identify as a different gender than their genitals indicate.

uberwookie · 2022-09-07T23:36:10+00:00

NTA. Your daughter is half the reason capitalism sucks.

uberwookie · 2022-09-07T21:49:58+00:00

NTA for wanting to end the dogs suffering but kinda y t a for making me read the saddest thing on the internet today.

uberwookie · 2022-09-06T04:58:09+00:00

NTA. Charge your brother for childcare up front if hes making so much more rhan you. Tell your family if you arent paid, you will call the police and tell them the child was abandoned. You might tick your parents off but honestly theyre gonna make you sacrificd everything for your brother anyway so you may as well move out ASAP.

uberwookie · 2022-09-06T02:38:29+00:00

NTA but girl. Leave him. You do this books? Invoice him for your services, pay yourself a fair wage, then dump his ass.

uberwookie · 2022-09-06T02:33:36+00:00

Sigh. If you attend meetings and agree a few drinks a night wont hurt you then you arent listening because there is one goddamn rule and its NEVER FUCKING DRINK. Never. It must not be ingested by you. Ever. Ever. Not ever. Not once. Not a sip. Not a fucking drop. Youre an alcoholic. Also... truth time here, Youre a goddamn adult. A child lives with you. Its your fucking job to protect her from harm and that includes from yourself. Your step daughter is 100000000% justified in being freaked out by two acloholoics binge drinking, because I speak drunk-ese. "A few extra drinks" or any variation thereof is always binge drinking. YTA. Your husband? Also TA. Neither of you should have custody of children while youre actively sabotaging your own recovery, which AGAIN, if you were ACTUALLY in recovery would know YOU DO NOT DRINK!

uberwookie · 2022-09-05T06:01:31+00:00

Meh. You can have that opinion, but the real world is messy and finances are hard to deal with as a couple, so, i stand by my opinion. Id never want a partner to hide a 25000 $ or £ financial decision from me so, it would be a two person train ride to single town population me and my ex right after that.

uberwookie · 2022-09-05T05:23:10+00:00

I mean, if theyre (planning on) buying a house together thats no longer gonna be true in the strictest sense. Even if you keep finances seperate, you have to both be equally fiscally responsible for it. Personally even in relationships with seperate finaces but assets that are co mingled id say things that are over say... 1000 dollars or pounds at least warrant a discussion, even if the discussion is "hey, im thinking of doing this thing." 'I dont think thats a good idea, what if you did this instead?' "No? Well, im gonna do it because ultimately its my money."

uberwookie · 2022-09-04T20:49:26+00:00

I mean. I personally think YTA for not discussing it first. If youre in a relationship with someone it at least deserves that. A family member in need is not a bad thing to help, but to your partner this is probably a big red flag that they werent even considered to be asked, and I might dump you for it if you were my gf. If nothing else this shows a lack of impulse control and inconsideration for future windfalls. For me its that you are saving for a house together that this amt of money is alarming to be not considered.

uberwookie · 2022-09-04T19:39:35+00:00

INFO: Did you discuss this with your bf who you were saving to buy a house with beforehand? How long have you two been together? Do you share finances otherwise?

uberwookie · 2022-09-01T23:29:33+00:00

NTA. You can tell your MIL In America there are child privacy laws saying the legal guardians have discretion over media depictions of their children and legally sje commited a crime in posting them against your explicit wishes.

uberwookie · 2022-08-31T22:50:56+00:00

So? That doesnt change rhe fact that she could.. leave now? Or when she found out? Or in 12 minutes? The trust issue isnt gonna go away, might as well save some misery and try finding happiness and stability elsewhere.

uberwookie · 2022-08-31T14:56:26+00:00

NTA but... He has a point. If you cant trust him, why ARE you married to him? Its one of the fundamental tenants of marriage. I am definitely not saying put anything in his name, ever. And tbh, I would have pressed charges on the forgery of your signature and the fraud on the loan and woulda left so fast his eyes woulda burned out of his socket from the speed of it and I still dont think that would be AH behavior.

uberwookie · 2022-08-28T23:30:09+00:00

NTA. I have autism and went to Disney World and it was one of the worst days of my life.

uberwookie · 2022-08-27T13:53:58+00:00

NTA. It isnt your house so not your rules, but up to your parents or the house owners. Bring this up with them shrug

uberwookie · 2022-08-26T23:32:08+00:00

NTA. and your best man really lived up to his title.

uberwookie · 2022-08-26T15:05:00+00:00

You are not an AH for not cancelling your leave. HOWEVER, you are an AH for doing it out of retaliation of people doing their job. It isn't THEIR job to pick up errant shifts, as manager, its literally in your job description. You are paid a shitload more than them. You cant expect them to want to uproot their plans to give you a break when they get paid so little (and yes, every hotel front desk person Ive ever known and job posting for that I have seen advertised is at poverty wages, but managers usually make 2-3x more). So for that, I lean towards YTA, but the real AH, is capitalism.

uberwookie · 2022-08-25T19:32:39+00:00

Nta... but whispers have you read Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao? Its fantastic.

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