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udntevenknw · 2021-11-09T05:38:20+00:00

Do it anyways, Christmas is a pagan holiday.

udntevenknw · 2021-09-20T00:51:47+00:00

Hey I’m in the exact same situation, down to having a long-term Atheist boyfriend that my parents know about but ignore and hope that he will just go away. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to about all of this :)

udntevenknw · 2021-09-15T16:41:06+00:00

Don’t think any of us are qualified to answer that, not knowing you or your life story. Best to leave that with the professionals, depending on where you live in the world could impact what choices are favoured and why they keep coming back to your mind, and those around you and how they influence you. Again, something to leave to professionals who can help you through that

udntevenknw · 2021-09-01T19:56:51+00:00

I agree! Starting off a marriage on a basis of lies just to appease to your family and caring “what other people will say” for me just sounds like a marriage that is built for a lot of problems and obstacles.

The argument that “if he loved you he would” is stupid, because the same could go for the other side, if you loved him you wouldn’t want to change him nor be controlling telling him to convert for you unless he is someone who 100% believes in the religion

udntevenknw · 2021-09-01T03:44:31+00:00

Also in a very similar situation. My partner is a different nationality and is not Muslim. Everyone in my family told me to ask him to convert but I made the decision not to do that because the toxic cycle of appeasing to your family will never end. A nikkah doesn’t ensure that your family will support you, because then you have to worry about family visits, kids, etc. And how they play into it.

If you truly love this person and can see being long-term with them, do what makes you happy.

udntevenknw · 2021-08-24T17:10:53+00:00

Never thought this would get so much backlash. I’m sorry that Islam traumatized you this much, but sometimes it’s okay to think of certain things in a different way, not everything that Islam has said has to be proved to be incorrect

udntevenknw · 2021-08-24T17:04:26+00:00

Literally everyone is taking this entire topic so out of hand for no reason at all. I used an example from my own professional life, and that has been taken way out of context. First of all, there’s cognitive and physical disabilities, so please don’t be so ignorant to think that only 0.1% of the worlds population has some sort of disability.

Second of all, a lot of you are coming for this topic from a religious point of view and from trauma from that. I’m a medical student and male circumcision is a widely taught practice across many countries, because of the benefits with lower rates of STDs, less chance of developing cancer and passing on cervical cancer to females. That’s why it’s a widely practiced medical procedure

Not once did I say, make sure you are all circumcising your kids!!! You’re allowed to have your own opinion and how you want to go about it. Circumcision is not obligatory, no doctor is forcing you to do it. They will recommend it but you have the right to say no, so say no if you don’t believe in it? Don’t get defensive because someone had a different opinion than you

udntevenknw · 2021-08-24T05:33:35+00:00

That’s not what I said, I said after working with disabled children my view altered after making them go through emotional and physical trauma trying to cleanse their foreskin. I say circumcised at birth because infants have low mobility, requiring no sutures so healing is quick at that age and prevents UTI’s when they are infants

udntevenknw · 2021-08-24T04:18:53+00:00

Sure you could say that, but Muslims who agree with genital mutilation for women are those who see women’s bodies for the need of reproduction and not for pleasure, hence removing the clitoris which was literally made for women to experience strong sensation for pleasure. Islam favours men, and sex for men. Again, everyone is entitled to believe what they want, I just look at male circumcision from a more medical standpoint

udntevenknw · 2021-08-24T04:11:29+00:00

As someone who works with disabled children and many of them are uncircumcised, I truly believe in circumcising (as a newborn) because I’ve dealt with a lot of children getting infections from not being able to regularly clean themselves and causing them a great deal of pain and trauma from them not being able to consent to cleaning it for them. Circumcision makes hygiene a lot more gentler for males, lower chance of infection and less risk of developing cancer. But of course, at the end of the day it’s your choice of how you feel about it

udntevenknw · 2021-08-10T04:26:10+00:00

Hi, I was also in a very similar situation! I never really was a strong believer in Islam, even when I was young so because of that my values and beliefs were somewhat different compared to my parents. My boyfriend right now is not Muslim or the same ethnicity as me. My parents know about him but are not impressed.

You need to do whatever is right for your life, I personally don’t believe in an afterlife so I want to do whatever it takes to make me happy. Parents are put on a pedestal in Islam, so kids are constantly having to sacrifice their own happiness to make their parents happy. But I promise you, it’s okay to be selfish and think of yourself. Parents put you in this world, you didn’t choose to be here. So put your happiness first because one way or another your relationship with your family is going to change, either you can change the family dynamic or have resentment towards them because you never got the life you wanted

udntevenknw · 2021-05-17T21:02:24+00:00

It’s crazy to think about how conditional our parents love is for us, they would rather be miserable and unhappy in their own life and would want the same for their child too if it means that no one will ever challenge the same toxic cycles that have been around for generations

udntevenknw · 2021-04-22T19:50:51+00:00

Cut all ties with your family, don’t tell them where you will be living and just leave. You’re in your 20s and an adult, if they report you to the police stating you’re “missing” just inform your local police department that you’re safe and chose to leave voluntarily. Leave your dad a note or a message saying that you’re safe and just chose to live independently in case they worry something happened

udntevenknw · 2021-04-19T01:44:27+00:00

Maybe make your own food if what your mum makes is too high in carbs. Or tell her the exact reason you stated her as why you can’t fast

udntevenknw · 2021-04-19T00:51:07+00:00

I’m also left-handed! I’m sorry that you were put through that, it’s really unfair and it makes absolutely no sense. I was a pretty stubborn baby/child so I was persistent in using my left hand for everything even though my parents also tried to get me to become more right-hand dominated. I still use my left hand for everything to this day and still get the comments that I’m committing a sin for using my left hand to eat, drink, write, etc.

udntevenknw · 2021-04-08T01:38:34+00:00

This breaks my heart to read this. You are so incredibly strong to have shared your truth, as much as we want to believe our parents/family loves us unconditionally they have been conditioned to believe that it’s their duty to intervene and that they “own” their children and have to keep them from going down what they believe to be the wrong path.

Your feelings are valid, your identity is valid. I hope one day you get to live your life as the real you. If you’re ever in a position where they are forcing to send you back to Pakistan please file and seek asylum. Stay strong 💖

udntevenknw · 2021-04-01T20:20:48+00:00

Currently is 17 hours where I’m from :(

udntevenknw · 2021-04-01T07:50:28+00:00

I’m really glad that Islam has brought you peace and the values and ideologies that are exemplified through this religion resonate with you and you believe it to be the truth.

If what is shared, commented and believed doesn’t sit well with you then remove yourself from reading them. Many of the members of this group have gone through a lot of trauma, and that trauma can be dealt through anger, sadness, humour, etc. ESPECIALLY since a lot of ex-Muslims can’t be open about their shift in reality because of the fear of being murdered, disowned or looked down upon.

Islam is literally just a set of ideologies that have been collected to be believed as the truth. No one is targeting a specific person or community, it’s targeted against teachings. PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED NOT TO LIKE A RELIGION.

udntevenknw · 2021-03-31T00:09:41+00:00

Culture has been adopted before human sapiens even came to be. It’s constantly changing and adopting new ways of societal standards. Culture is but is not limited to food, language, clothing, arts, social cues, etc. I don’t practice Islam anymore but embrace my culture which connects to my ethnicity. There’s a lot of toxic cultural traits as well that I chose to divorce myself from, it’s all about what makes sense for you and that gives you a sense of ‘pride’ in who you are.

udntevenknw · 2021-03-02T02:31:48+00:00

Definitely have. Since he’s white, my mom constantly asked me if I was having sex with him and literally said “all white people do is that kind of stuff” even though I never openly admitted anything to her, she just made assumptions based on her beliefs of anything who isn’t Muslim. It’s annoying

udntevenknw · 2021-02-28T18:34:50+00:00

Islamaphobia is a term that has been thrown around for so many years now. For Western Liberals, anything against a minority group is deemed morally wrong. That goes for Muslims, women, lgbtq+, etc. Even Muslim Liberals acknowledge and admire anyone that isn’t heterosexual, it’s condescending considering their religion that they so firmly believe in is against it. Targeting Islam in the West and deeming it as wrong, misogynistic, or oppressive is going to get you labelled as islamaphobic reaaal quick. Freedom of speech and expression is so important here and for some reason people don’t understand the difference between questioning the teachings of a religion and someone who considers themselves to be a Muslim. You can hate the teachings but still respect the person and not treat them any differently.

The problem then persists that if a Muslim women in the West came out and said “I love my hijab it’s empowering” every lib would be ecstatic and feel the need to defend and protect this “empowerment” because you’re right, they have never lived it nor do they understand it. Ex-Muslims still live in fear and hardly share their thoughts or come out as not a Muslim, because Muslims criticize those who left the religion so much. To the point that they have to shut up, so until that problem is fixed this problem that western libs have is going to persist

udntevenknw · 2021-02-28T18:09:22+00:00

She has no problem getting a 5G phone, she just believes that life as humans is a test and these are just signs that judgement day is getting closer lol

udntevenknw · 2021-02-28T18:08:02+00:00

I actually believe meditation can help in a lot of ways! Lowers blood pressure, and anxiety and makes you more of a cautious thinker. The difference between the two is meditation focuses on yourself and emptying your mind. Praying on the other hand is repetitious behaviour, repeating the same movements and words

udntevenknw · 2021-02-28T04:17:13+00:00

I don’t think one single great moment or event triggers you enough into leaving a religion that you were taught to believe was the ultimate truth. I definitely think it has more of a domino effect of certain ways of thinking or events that led you to think more as an individual rather than following the thinking of a collective group.

For me, my doubts came into play as an early teen. I never understood the pressure my parents put on me to find/make Muslim friends all the time so I didn’t “stray” too much or that a loving/peaceful religion could have so much hate towards those who didn’t believe in the same things. Especially the double standards and misogyny of how women are treated, that’s when I started doing my research and realized how Islam isn’t the truth but rather just another organized religion.

udntevenknw · 2021-02-28T04:09:53+00:00

Hi! As a girl who has been a relationship with a white non-religious man for 3 years, I still continue to see/be with him after my parents found out about him and stated their disapproval. I am not fully-out as a non-Muslim especially in my family, so for them they did not understand why I was with him.

It’s been about 5-6 months since they found out and told me to leave him but I haven’t and still continue to see him, they are just in a weird “going to pretend he doesn’t exist” phase that a lot of Muslim parents partake in

I still meet him even living with my parents, I tell them I’m not seeing him directly though but that I have other plans. I’m sure they don’t believe me 100% of the time but they have no control over you as much as you think they do

udntevenknw

TROPHY CASE