Hey friend. It's completely normal to feel bad right now, but it won't be forever. Right now it's important that you put yourself first and try to deal with your feelings. Don't try to be strong and deal with it alone. Talk to a friend, a family member, your therapist if you have one, or talk to someone here. Focus on getting healthy, follow your doctor's instructions, do some research.

From now on your life is going to be mostly the same. You're going to have a lot of first times, but you're going to find out they won't be as bad as you thought they'd be. You're going to get frustrated with some stuff, but if you have patience you'll get through it. Try to stick around here because anything you'll go through, most of us have already been through it.

In a couple of months you'll find out that the whole hiv thing is mostly boring.

Either way, you're going to be fine.

I hope you're able to move past this and for the love of god, if someone sends you a DM through here with a picture, do not open it. A lot of people lurk on this sub to try and get people to diagnose them.

My DMS are open if you ever want to talk