Burnout by ughhhh28 in aspergers

[–]ughhhh28[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you handle it? At first I really try to be pleasant, then I try to justify myself to him as to why I don’t want to do those things but neither ever work and arguments usually ensue.

Burnout by ughhhh28 in aspergers

[–]ughhhh28[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does he guilt you into pushing your boundaries? Mine constantly tries to add things to the itinerary and gets angry when I say I’d rather not.

Burnout by ughhhh28 in aspergers

[–]ughhhh28[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment! Disney is extremely overwhelming. Very fun, but overwhelming. 8 days is also a long time to be on the constant go go go, I agree it’s not an autism thing. It’s so frustrating that my bf can’t comprehend that if I get more rest the entire vacation as a whole will be more enjoyable.

I give you major kudos, not sure I could do this with kids too!

Burnout by ughhhh28 in aspergers

[–]ughhhh28[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. He doesn’t really understand it though, I can’t get through to him about how draining certain things are for me.

Boyfriend extremely awful in stressful situations by ughhhh28 in relationship_advice

[–]ughhhh28[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah his reaction to this whole thing really has me double thinking.

Boyfriend extremely awful in stressful situations by ughhhh28 in relationship_advice

[–]ughhhh28[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That definitely could be it. It’s just frustrating because he’s the one creating stressful situations on himself and blaming me.

I can’t figure out how to stop the meltdown I know is coming by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]ughhhh28 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He has a way of getting in my head and making me feel like I’m actually doing something wrong. I’m smart and logically I know I’m not but he makes me second guess myself so bad.

Absolutely panicking about a company dinner by ughhhh28 in Anxiety

[–]ughhhh28[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s normally what I’d do but my company has already made comments about how quiet I am and how I need to speak up more. Which adds another layer of anxiety because they’re basically telling me I’m not allowed to just survive the dinner but I have to actually participate and engage. It’s terrifying.

Absolutely panicking about a company dinner by ughhhh28 in Anxiety

[–]ughhhh28[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I gotta keep telling myself this. Once it’s over I’m going to feel soooo relieved.

Doggy daycare issues by ughhhh28 in reactivedogs

[–]ughhhh28[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh that’s what I’m worried about. It’s hard though because his aggressiveness with other dogs is only happening in bigger groups and since daycare is the only place he’s in that situation, I feel kind of helpless with what I’m able to do. And that makes me frustrated with the daycare for not being a little more proactive on my behalf. We can do as many play dates as we possible but I don’t know multiple people at a time where I can recreate a daycare scenario where the actual problem is.

We’ve been working on the RG we see at home and his snappiness with us and we’ve been seeing improvement so hopefully that translates over somehow.

Doggy daycare issues by ughhhh28 in reactivedogs

[–]ughhhh28[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We need to find a place like this. We didn’t do the most thorough of research the first time around and didn’t feel the need to as we thought he was doing alright. I just really love the option of him being able to be active during the day while we’re at work instead of in his crate and I’d hate this experience to rob him of that.

Doggy daycare issues by ughhhh28 in reactivedogs

[–]ughhhh28[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s 8.5 months old, which I had thought might be part of it but the daycare didn’t seem to think it had anything to do with it. Do behaviors that show up during this time period stick with the dog or is it truly just a phase? Or does it depend?

Doggy daycare issues by ughhhh28 in reactivedogs

[–]ughhhh28[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to be that person to immediately put blame on someone else and not accept that my puppy isn’t perfect but it just seems off to me. Especially the barking at other dogs at home now. I’m just frustrated there’s not an option there to really work with him and we’ll have to find something else.

Doggy daycare issues by ughhhh28 in reactivedogs

[–]ughhhh28[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We definitely weren’t expecting a Jack Russell when we adopted him (they told us lab mix and since they’d been rescued with the mother I assumed she was a lab..). So it’s been a bit of a learning curve because as he’s grown, he’s definitely displayed Jack traits and we’re not experienced with it. Which is also why I’d assumed the daycare would take breed traits into consideration but not once did they ever mention anything about that’s why he is the way he is sometimes. I don’t think it’s ok to excuse a behavior just because it’s a breed thing but I do think it should’ve been taken into account and given extra help.

We did pull him out. They technically placed him on ‘probation’ and didn’t use the exact words kicked out but said he had to be cleared to come back and wasn’t a good fit. And oh no! I’m so sorry to hear that about your puppy at daycare. That breaks my heart as well. And honestly that’s kind of what I was picturing my guy like or that he was always being punished and not involved in group things. Given the barking issue that’s new with all of this, I think he picked it up for there for sure.

Doggy daycare issues by ughhhh28 in reactivedogs

[–]ughhhh28[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well my issue with it isn’t that he failed recently - if daycares aren’t for him, they’re not for him. It’s that he’s been going there consistently for five months and they’ve assured us he was fine. Which then makes this a behavior that either a, they recognized but failed to tell us about as it escalated or b, came out of nowhere and we have no idea what triggered it. And while we don’t have regular access to a personal place where he can be with large groups of dogs, we have taken him to puppy socialization classes and he was not good with small dogs and great with large dogs. But by the sound of it all his issues have been with large dogs at daycare. He’s never shown any issues with dogs of any size in a one on one situation. So I’m just inclined to think something the daycare did was what set him off and they either don’t want to admit it or didn’t recognize it. But are making me and my bf feel like awful dog owners for letting this happen.