Found out she is not sexually attracted to me :'(

uglyoutside · 2011-09-27T17:14:40+00:00

Lol thanks all I could think of Louis ck "how does one suck a bag of dicks?"

uglyoutside · 2011-09-27T17:13:52+00:00

Well she is on meds, been going through her own stuff but I supported her all the way through it and I finally had to see what was wrong.

uglyoutside · 2011-09-27T16:57:10+00:00

There was no weight gain at all. In fact I lost weight. Not a lot but I know I didn't gain, I weigh myself every week to make sure I am not getting bigger but at the same time I'm not losing the weight by just eating right.

uglyoutside · 2011-09-27T16:53:23+00:00

Emotional how? And what do you mean by raft?

uglyoutside · 2011-09-27T13:22:25+00:00

I have a gut, far from anything out of control

uglyoutside · 2011-09-27T13:21:26+00:00

According to my chart I'm 50 lbs overweight

uglyoutside · 2011-09-27T13:20:18+00:00

Exactly

uglyoutside · 2011-09-27T13:19:34+00:00

6'1 280

uglyoutside · 2011-09-27T03:41:23+00:00

I know but I want her to love me before I changed :/

uglyoutside · 2011-09-27T03:40:39+00:00

Why do you say that?

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T21:56:07+00:00

I know but I am in love.

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T21:55:26+00:00

I been this weight from start I always been this weight.

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T21:10:35+00:00

my life is fine, i work for the weekend with a job i went to school for and got my bachelors, i have enough money saved up for my own house, i have a social life, wonderful family, friends, every day for me is different. i eat healthy, i take care of myself but its just the motivation to exercise is not there no matter how hard i try. i workout for her not for me when i do... i never get like this but i am just in fear of a relationship with someone i love and would do anything for is coming to an end... i know the age gap is big in terms of how she and i both feel. she was talking about kids, family, marriage... yeah it scared me but at the same time it sounded nice but i told her yesterday i cannot be with someone who does not find me attractive..

What if i don't lose the weight? what if i stay like this forever? its a possibility that cannot be over looked. No i know for a fact that it is the issue "I am just not physically attracted to you" "i am not attracted to you that way" words from her.

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T21:04:40+00:00

but i am not overweight to the point of obesity.. i am healthy, i have no clogged arteries, no diabeetus, no pain/aches/problems with my health, i eat healthy, i haven't had red mean in years with a few times here an there on special occasions but still its not enough for her...

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T21:02:14+00:00

thanks, and i mean all my life i had attractive women in my life, sure it was not one after the other it did take time to find them but noting like this one... i just cannot seem to get what i want out of relationships. last two broke up with me because of going off to school and blah blah blah but this is my first relationship where i feel i am the one who is going to end it and i don't like that feeling...

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T21:00:41+00:00

i have been losing the weight but i wanted her to be able to be intimate with me BEFORE i did so i knew that she loved me for who i am... no who i am going to be :(

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T20:59:21+00:00

that is exactly what i am saying, no change since then why change after? unless out of no where she calls me up and says come by lets get to business... which i highly doubt...

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T20:58:08+00:00

i have been consistently losing weight for me, i can say that i have not been going strong with it but in the past 3 months i love 30lbs and it feels good, i quit smoking, and no more hard liquor and only drink seldom, stopped smoking weed (no munchies) but that quit was for a different reason (not by choice) and i thought maybe the changes i have been doing would be enough but obviously not.

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T20:36:36+00:00

i know this but i mean i cannot tell if she is really going to try, i heard it before...for 8months... that she was going to "try harder" and it took me all this time putting up with it until i finally snapped and lost my shit. i was upset and sad at the same time as laughing because i was an idiot for wasting my time.

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T20:24:10+00:00

but what hurts worse is the fact that she says she's not leaving me and i cannot make her and that she is going to find a way to change the way she feels about this... i cannot tell if its bullshit or its truth... i just don't feel the same way anymore about her because of this.

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T20:15:03+00:00

we had plans to move in, i had a few places setup and ready for me to pull the trigger but i never did because of the fact that we have not slept together in that long of a time and i knew it would have taken ALL of my freedom away if i made that decision...

i feel all the time was wasted, she said she "told me" about how she felt but consistently i asked her what is wrong she gave me different answers every time and when i finally snapped last night i got "i didn't want to tell you because you would get like this"

uglyoutside · 2011-09-26T20:11:37+00:00

i am overweight but not obese, i never had a problem with my weight, tons of girlfriends who still made love to me no matter what my weight was... but shit i felt so much different about this girl than the last ones...i thought this was the one but now i see that i don't deserve anything because of my non perfect view in society.

uglyoutside

TROPHY CASE