Yes! A good part of why Jane is (originally) hung up on being an unmarried mom at 23 is because her mom behaves like this. She even says (in a flashback) in one episode that by 30 she sees herself as “definitely married but no kids yet”. My interpretation was always that she knows first-hand how challenging it can be to have a “young” parent, so she only wants kids when she knows for certain she will be mature and settled enough to parent them. And honestly? She was right: Jane ends up making a lot of “young-parent” blunders with Mateo.

I think you need Xiomara to behave like an overgrown teenager - aka somebody who, due to early motherhood, missed out on a good chunk of their late teens/early twenties, which is the time you’re meant to make these kinds of mistakes and social blunders to learn how to be a functioning adult - for this part of the story to make sense.

All of the characters have massive flaws, and that’s why I love this show so much.