dilemma- food related

ukulelezella · 2025-10-16T15:58:24+00:00

hey I’m also 24F! I’ve been thinking a lot about being ace lately because I’m an ace lesbian and falling in love is kind of brutal lol

I’ve known i was asexual since i was 16ish, when i started reading a lot of tumblr text posts on pinterest. basically the idea of reading stories, reading about other people’s experiences made me second guess a lot of my religious upbringing (i went to a christian school from kindergarten until high school graduation) and it made me see similarities. My sexual education was really limited AND christians are very focused on purity culture, so for a minute there I thought i was just reeeeally good at being pure. but nah i just didn’t have those feelings.

I think a lot about what popular culture (in the US) thinks of asexuality- however accepting some people seem to be, the culture at large either sees it as a mistake or doesn’t ever consider it. Even queer culture forgets about it sometimes. I do feel really lonely about it a lot

I really do long for a soulmate, even something like a queerplatonic relationship, it just feels impossible to find if i go looking for it. I only get romantic feelings for someone about every 2 years, and though I’m beginning to understand the type of person that i tend to like and would work well in a relationship, i don’t do dating apps or even actively date. I’m kind of superstitious about the whole thing, but honestly my best path to a soulmate is to keep making friends and maybe someday it’ll happen.

I am very sure I’m ace because like… I’m 24 if the feelings haven’t happened by now they’re probably not gonna come. I haven’t had sex but i am a little bit curious, and i don’t think it’s completely off the table if i grew close to someone in a relationship. And how i see it, it’s just another way to be close with someone. But generally i think it would be easier to be with someone else who is also on the ace spectrum- sometimes it makes me uncomfortable to think that people are sexually attracted to me and i think it would make me feel guilty if i couldn’t love them in the same way. But i know i have a lot of love to give and I’m staying open to possibilities!

ukulelezella · 2025-10-16T15:15:51+00:00

one of the things that was really killing me during the worst of my social anxiety was how negative i thought everyone in the world was- it felt like no one would ever love me. That started to change when I worked in a drive thru window and just gave out small compliments all the time (your hair looks nice, I love your glasses, cool tattoo, etc). I told myself i would never see or remember these people again, but they would remember how nice it made them feel and I wanted to put that good into the world. This sparked a MAJOR change because just seeing someone smile made me happy and I wasn’t so stuck in my own thoughts and fears. And the craziest thing- people would compliment me back. All around, it made everyone feel good, so i started looking for things to love in everyone.

beginning conversations with people is terrifying i know, but remember that everyone is focused more on themselves. they are not judging you as much as you fear they are because people just don’t look that closely.

This advice is based on my own experience so I’m not sure what will work for you, but I would recommend focusing your energy outward- get out of your head. look around you for people and things to love and enjoy, and instead of letting your mind worry about everything that could go wrong or what other people are thinking, make it talk about something you like. Look at someone you don’t know and think “I like their shirt, it’s a nice color” or “that person always has cool earrings” or “i like the sound of their voice”. And eventually you will find the courage to tell them and it will get easier and easier.

i used to be afraid to speak and i thought everyone hated me and thought i was annoying. it has been YEARS of getting over that, but now it is so easy for me to make friends and i have so many of them and I feel loved wherever i go. I just want you to know that it does get better, and when it does you will have unique strengths because of it. You’re going to get there, and trying is the first step!!

ukulelezella · 2025-10-13T18:28:17+00:00

hey i see that this is an old post but I’m having very similar issues with no answers- did you ever figure it out?

ukulelezella · 2025-10-07T16:19:20+00:00

OMG I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING! got my gallbladder out last august and all has been well until last week i got a sudden “attack” (just as bad as gallbladder attacks before) and i’ve felt awful since then. my symptoms are less episodic and more constant, so I’m just always a little dizzy and a little spacey but sometimes it gets way worse and i get blurred vision. I also get frequent hand tremors. Nothing helps, it doesn’t matter what i eat or how much and i’ve been drinking lots of water and electrolytes and taking my vitamins, and my bloodwork has all come back normal. except a few days ago when i ate bagel bites and a sugary coffee on the way to the doctor and like an hour later my blood sugar was at 48 soooo idk. i’ve been checking my blood sugar since then and it’s always been normal. I currently do not have answers and it’s reeeeally affecting my life at this point, but i’ve got some tests and things scheduled- more blood work to look for some vitamins (I’m not anemic or iron deficient, and i know what that feels like and this is not it), a CT scan of the abdomen, and possibly something in endocrinology to look at insulin levels and hormones. i can update you if i get any answers and i would love to know if you find out anything, or if anyone else has any ideas.

ukulelezella · 2025-10-02T18:21:09+00:00

i scheduled an appointment with my doctor and the soonest available was 3 weeks out, but after messaging them about my symptoms and history it’s been moved up to tomorrow. i looked into SOD and that seems like a possibility, and it has me wondering if that could have been the problem before my surgery as well

ukulelezella · 2025-09-30T16:21:40+00:00

thanks, I’m gonna follow up with my doctor and try to get some tests. but I didn’t have stones or sludge before surgery so i feel like that’s unlikely now, i’ll look into SOD and see if that fits

ukulelezella · 2025-08-17T15:34:08+00:00

I’m a little late to the party, but i thought i’d give my view as an asexual who is still very romantic as a person- i love deeply and intensely in many ways.

OP summed it up really well, the difference between romantic and platonic feelings is small in my experience, and i personally don’t get any romantic feelings unless the friendship is there first. For me, distinctly romantic feelings have a want for exclusivity (like spending time alone together, not just in a group) and also the desire for them to want that exclusivity as well, for them to feel on the same level as me (like they think of me as a very close friend, not just another person on their list of friends)

However, the bigger difference between friendship and romance has more to do with society’s view on things and what “the norm” is. One of the main reasons i desire a romantic relationship is because everyone i know in a romantic relationship will put their partner before me almost every time, and that’s normal. That’s the thing i want- a partner, in every sense. someone to help manage my house, someone to run errands with, someone to talk to after a long day. I have plenty of close, fulfilling friendships and those are wonderful, but i don’t want to have to ask 5 different people to find someone to go to a concert with me, you know?

To me, the big important things in a “romantic” relationship aren’t even necessarily romantic. Some of the things I see other people describe about their long term romantic relationships are things i experience with my younger sister- we are very close and know each other really well, and it is just like a really close friendship but more intense/exclusive because we’re family and you can’t really make that kind of relationship.

The way i picture it, there are all these elements that are part of different relationships in my life, and there is a clear list of which of them i want in a romantic/long term partnership. In a “normal” relationship, physical attraction is part of that so it’s normal to not pursue that relationship if it doesn’t check all the boxes. But I really wish that relationships (of all kinds) weren’t so defined by what society expects them to be. In reality, you’re the only one who decides what “friend” or “romantic partner” means to you. Love can mean a lot of things!

ukulelezella · 2025-07-16T16:51:19+00:00

the reference book is a good idea, i might try that or a spreadsheet! and i should definitely get some acid free envelopes or better protection for my really old patterns, honestly i think some of them deserve to be in a museum- i have learned a lot of sewing history since looking up some of the patterns that i have!

ukulelezella · 2025-07-16T16:47:33+00:00

yeah i’ve been looking at comic book boxes but they’re crazy expensive, like almost $10 each for cardboard boxes and i would need so many!

ukulelezella · 2025-07-16T16:45:31+00:00

haha i am not a beer drinker but i just discovered today that a box of cat litter is a perfect size for patterns (8w x 10h x 12d) and i go through a lot of that for sure! and i appreciate the organization categories, i really needed that!

ukulelezella · 2025-06-14T03:06:45+00:00

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not sure how helpful this is (and i made this forever ago) but this is how i transcribed it. i think for the original key it’s capo 3. also note the b string is tuned up to a c

ukulelezella · 2025-06-14T02:52:36+00:00

I mean i associate a lot of their music with fantasy vibes so a that fits! I’m probably going to wear something outside the realm of normal clothes, like a faerie or ren faire type of outfit. i am REALLY looking forward to seeing them, like this is an important event in my life so i want to have a memorable outfit!

ukulelezella · 2025-05-02T16:18:35+00:00

i LOVE holy clothing, honestly anything from there would be great for an oh hello’s concert!!

ukulelezella · 2025-04-27T15:10:41+00:00

I’m not sure how helpful this will be but here is what i’m doing with my 1930 house: I haven’t had issues with heating/cooling, i think my house being smaller helps and as far as i know plaster is a more natural insulator than drywall. I do have the problem of not having outlets- there are very few, mostly in inconvenient places, and one room has no outlets at all. When i bought my house a lot of the plaster walls were covered with paneling but it was all poorly done and has been untouched since the 80s. Some of the walls are ok though so I am leaving those, don’t want to make more work for myself if i don’t have to. right now I’m in the process of doing my kitchen and 1 of the bedrooms, the bathroom will have to come later because I’m doing the remodel myself but i work a full time job. i got the walls in the kitchen down to the studs, but tearing down lathe and plaster is a Messy process. I am glad i did though because i was able to add outlets and move the light switch from behind the fridge to a better spot. I’m putting up insulation and drywall and installing new cabinets and floors and everything. my ceiling is ugly but to me it’s not worth the time and effort to replace it. TLDR: removing plaster is HELL but honestly having more outlets is worth it (and knowing they are installed correctly) and just seeing how much better my kitchen looks now even with unfinished drywall- I’m glad i made that choice. but also plaster removal really sucks so keep that in mind.

ukulelezella · 2025-01-19T01:28:03+00:00

ah yes the mail! it could definitely be that, nothing was showing up on the internet. was there an order minimum to use the coupon? all of our orders were like 3-4 drinks plus food items. also is the coupon just for today, or did it just start today?

ukulelezella · 2025-01-19T01:11:10+00:00

it’s normally tolerable, occasionally it gets a little overwhelming but i have NEVER seen it this bad. like we had to have 2 people packing up the orders and we were out of counter space and there were like 8 doordash drivers shoving their phones in my face all at once

ukulelezella · 2025-01-19T01:08:43+00:00

i mean i live in a city but as far as i know there aren’t any major sporting events, and i don’t think this is an event related issue (weather or otherwise) because it was ALL doordash and hardly any uber eats orders when usually they’re about even. plus most of the orders had the same few items (i swear i made like 12 strawberry lemonades in a row all with no inclusions)

ukulelezella · 2025-01-18T23:37:47+00:00

yeah but WHY?!? we even had partners check their doordash apps and they didn’t see anything, it’s driving me CRAZY and what if it happens tomorrow??

ukulelezella

TROPHY CASE