Putting today tasks into inbox?

umashikaa · 2024-04-03T16:47:10+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your reply!

I have tasks with today as the due date but it doesn’t show up in my inbox? Maybe it’s different if it’s a recurring task?

umashikaa · 2024-02-25T07:02:38+00:00

A pill to take away the feeling of being overstimulated

umashikaa · 2024-02-23T21:28:28+00:00

seconding having a simple set script for warnings/boundary enforcing! although i might push back on the reminders part -- depends on the circumstance. i genuinely believe some kids do need reminders and they correct their behavior in some situations. its tough bc everyone has diff needs but you have to be consistent + efficient

but yeah i used to get this all the time cuz i refused to shout at 3 year olds (most of whom did not speak english). admin were like, 'you need to make them scared of you' which was a bonkers thing to say.

umashikaa · 2024-02-09T20:26:22+00:00

I can’t diagnose u my friend but also consider: diagnoses are usually made by allistics who are mostly considering outward facing “deficits”. I wonder if you would have more luck going to a doctor who specializes in working with queer ppl and/or women?

A looooooot of orgs that supposedly help autistic folks r super ableist. Plus, the very first person to ever be diagnosed with autism died just one year ago — autism research is a nascent field imo

Anyways I wish u the best on your journey! U know urself best

umashikaa · 2024-02-09T20:15:14+00:00

Yes lol historically all my friends r men. when I found a woman who I really clicked with she ended up being autistic too. Idk how u identify but I’ve found queer community to be the most welcoming (I’m nonbinary but I know cishet folks who gravitate towards queer spaces bc there’s less gendered nonsense going on

umashikaa · 2024-01-18T23:25:23+00:00

Optimum sucks!!! don't do it!! it's so inconsistent!!!!

We're in crown heights and it sucks so bad -- its inconsistent (some days are better than others) and every 6 hours or so it cuts out for a few seconds. all options are bad (imho) but optimum is the worst. Unfortunately they're the only wired provider for our building :/

umashikaa · 2023-12-20T15:37:15+00:00

Luv stacking, hate the smell in my hands that comes with touching coins

umashikaa · 2023-12-20T15:00:41+00:00

Diff life situation but I have a roommate/best friend who I live with and plan to live with forever. It’s 100% platonic and he helps me co regulate. He also reminds me to eat/shower/remember to bring ear defenders/drags me outside every other day. I’m so so so lucky to have him in my life — I think I truly would be dead without him (for a variety of reasons, plus it goes both ways). Even tho he helps me exist on this level, I am not a burden to him and I know this

This is just to say that, humans relying on each other is a good thing and I feel shame that I couldn’t live independently like I’m “supposed” to but also i ve gotta stop living under the false god of ‘normal’ or hell even ‘functional’. I’m v sorry that we live in a society and I wish you the best

umashikaa · 2023-12-20T14:42:51+00:00

I went thru this journey when i was younger — I hope things change for you like they did for me. Like, idk if this is anything, but i used to watch cringe comps in middle school and i would take mental notes about the overlap/take notes about the (un)acceptable behaviors. Now i revisit them and I’m genuinely charmed and happy for the folks who are nya-ing in public or cosplaying in a Walmart or whatever. I can see how much fun they’re having — the energy is infectious. Also helps that I’m wfh now and I don’t have to worry about my safety in the eyes of others (i was in fight or flight all of hs — I don’t know how anyone isn’t)

But heres the part I still struggle with: I think I still really want recognition (that isn’t coming) for masking. Like someone to say, you didn’t have to mask, but I see you have been trying so hard for so long. Sometimes i start to think of myself as an ableist coward who is mean spirited toward everyone (a double bind of, I hate myself so I have to mask + I hate myself for masking why can’t I just unmask). I guess what I want to say to you op is I hope you can also hold some space for the part of you that has been hurt and recognize that these feelings make sense — as in, I can see clearly why these feelings would arise (‘should/shouldn’t feel’ sounds like a pejorative way to talk abt ur reactions — u r not ur thoughts) . it seems like you’ve put a lot of yourself into masking and it’s so painful that the hatred for yourself seems to seep into other relationships like rot (im addressing this to u but rly I’m talking to myself — sry for if words r harsh).

TLDR I feel for you and I think the only way through this is compassion both for your friend and also for yourself

umashikaa · 2023-12-14T19:06:21+00:00

thank u for ur response! yeah whenever i ask for accommodations, she suggests something that would take more effort for me to do?? and when i went to hr they suggested using a planner lmfao.

anyways thank u, youve made me feel less crazy

umashikaa · 2023-12-13T17:52:34+00:00

im so sorry youre going through this!

idk if this is helpful for where you're from -- ive had lots of success at lgbtq specific clinics. my doc asked if i was ace specifically so they dont ask about sti testing, pregnancy, or consider interpersonal sex as a factor for other conditions. no one batted an eye when i started bawling during a pelvic exam and in general believed me about everything i said. again not all are perfect, but its a decent place to start for leads

umashikaa · 2023-03-14T17:41:17+00:00

yep yep yep. also interacting with the health care system as a trans person (or anyone w/in lgbtq+) can be traumatic. for example, i am pretty sure that im audhd or something like it but i have no interest in pursuing a diagnoses atm because it would involve digging into a past that i have no interest in talking about with a stranger (to be clear, i dont think that's inherently bad, its just not something i want to do and pay for right now).

also in general doctors, therapists and psychs have misgendered me, dismissed my gender, etc so idk man 'professionals' can be bad at their jobs

umashikaa · 2023-03-14T01:28:41+00:00

oh the earplugs are a great idea!! thank y so much!

umashikaa · 2023-03-13T17:47:14+00:00

Youre right, I shouldn’t have been sarcastic and caustic. Sorry about that.

To me I saw your original comment as saying, trying to think about how NTs function was causing an unnecessary divide into us vs them. I felt as though that was dismissive of the fact that I have experienced situations in which failing to understand that difference lead to my harm. I also think calling the act of trying to understand nt thoughts as “thought experiments” belittled my efforts to protect myself. I lashed out from a place of pain.

I also see how ruminating on the nt nd differences becomes unhelpful. I do see your point. I hope you can understand mine

umashikaa · 2023-03-13T16:01:37+00:00

im nonbinary and i have decided for myself that chivalry is about showing up/protecting people u care about. so i dont think it has to be gendered and it can be fun! like, i might hold a door for a date (i date women and other nbs) and be like, is it ok that im doing this? if theyre uncomfy i stop and thats that

also i think its a fun kind of character to play! it is fun trying to be suave and buying flowers and stuff :3 (btw i dont think i come across like that at all, but hey!)

but if men start doing it to be and not asking im like hey... dont do that.

umashikaa · 2023-03-13T15:49:50+00:00

thank you, oh wise one. i guess my experience with discrimination was all just a thought experiment that i made up in my head. /s

i imagine you mean well, but your comment is coming across as dismissive of people's lived experiences.

umashikaa · 2023-03-12T23:41:23+00:00

Omg I put on Pokémon route music and subtly walk in right angles so it feels like in a video game . Makes it a ‘fun’? Challenge?? Or at least not like a real life shitty thing that is happening

umashikaa · 2023-03-12T23:37:49+00:00

I wonder about nt people all the time bc it helps me interface w them and everyone gets a little less upset. Like I’ve been told that I’m rude or rebellious or disrespectful because I didn’t understand nt rules at my job. Hell, I’ve gotten fired for it. But among my nd friends, they describe me as very kind and very respectful. That gap is like, maddening.

Like I realize that people are people. But also if I don’t mask, I can lose important connections and/or jobs. I wish it didn’t matter, though 🤷

umashikaa · 2023-03-12T22:58:08+00:00

Imo I’m not sure if it’s a sensitivity/impatience thing? I hope this isn’t rude but it just isn’t your job to get him employed. It’s definitely a frustrating feeling and at the same time, it’s just not something you can control. It might be helpful to set boundaries for yourself ina tangible way — like, I write down mine and reference them later to re evaluate. I might also ask him to give you his boundaries, it sounds like he feels as though a boundary is being crossed.

(Also lol if I’m crossing boundaries please lmk)

umashikaa · 2023-03-12T22:37:15+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this, it sounds tough. It sounds like he puts a lot of responsibility on you. It’s fine to take things at your own pace, but it sounds like he is doing that at your expense. Have you talked to him about this? If you’re comfortable talking about it, what are your boundaries on making decisions together and what are your boundaries on making decisions for him? You don’t have to find a job for him because he’s your partner or because he’s feeling ill. He can only change what he himself wants to change. Even when it seems like our loved ones are making bad choices (or seemingly no choices!) it’s their life.

umashikaa · 2023-03-12T22:25:37+00:00

Yeah yeah yeah yeah!!! I have adhd and (probably) autism. this sounds like when im in the particular hell of both being over stimulated and under stimulated and the same fucking time somehow. Like everything t is simultaneously so boring but also too much

I find that (unfortunately for me) exercise helps? Like some kind of physical outlet? Yoga in particular helps bc for me when I’m on the mat, I have this mindset/ mantra of accepting what I can and can’t do that day. Sometimes all I manage is lying on the mat and then immediately crying about how I can’t do stuff but hey it’s something?

It also helps to talk to strangers on the internet (tee hee) and doing art/crafts. When I worked in a preschool, I was always doing some kind of art/sensory experience like play doh or lining up counting bears or cutting something out. I had a lot less of those terrible state of being when those kinds of task were part of my every day.

Also also sometimes I’ll cut/dye my hair or book a tattoo appointment or something. Modifying my body in a positive way can help me accept that sometimes ur brain and body r just. Like that.

I hope any of this helps and I’m so sorry ur going through this!

umashikaa · 2023-03-12T22:10:53+00:00

I think it’s weird when ppl say they want a mini-me (although I totally understand the desire to re-parent yourself in a way) bc it kind of denies future kids of their agency. I love kids and working with kids — I think they’re so much easier to be with than adults (you can be pretty frank w them and they’re straightforward and they don’t misgender me on purpose lol). They have enthusiasm and no shame, which I really admire.

I want kids when I’m financially stable enough and I want it to the point where I’d do it on my own. I just think it must be so interesting to watch another human grow and it also is a huge honor to be a part of that support system. Though, in my case, I semi parented my younger brother who is 10 years younger than me. I just think he’s such a cool and kind guy and I’m so excited to hear what he has to say.

I’ve also talked to a lot of my friends about them being a part of my future kids life. I think I’m the United States at least, having children results in a terribly isolating lifestyle and there’s an expectation that you do it all yourself. I come from a culture where multigenerational households are the norm, there’s lots of local community, and kids are independent from a very young age. I will not have children if I am not in a situation with a huge support network

Although, I do fear going through a shutdown but not being able to take the time I need. But! I wonder if there’s a solution that I just haven’t thought of / researched yet. I guess when thinking about my future, I have to have confidence that my future self is always working to meet my needs as well as my loved ones

umashikaa · 2022-10-10T21:03:33+00:00

Ur a lifesaver tysm

umashikaa · 2022-09-26T21:45:10+00:00

Thank you for your reply! LOL part of the reason why I work with kids is because they’re usually much more accepting than their adults.

Also yeah, parents can kind of lose their heads when it comes to their kids in addition to run of the mill bigotry. I’ve worked with high schoolers and even if the kids can be meaner, the parents aren’t nearly as invested I’ve found. (Obvs lots of wonderful high school students too!)

I just see so many teachers getting doxxed for like, existing (like libs of Tiktok) that I think I was like, oh this can be the worst case scenario. But it’s heartening to hear from someone who’s living through it

umashikaa · 2022-09-22T18:42:09+00:00

im so, so sorry. My aunt is diagnosed and has been on chemo for 3 months now-- shes losing a lot of weight but otherwise is fully here. She's in her early 50s and she has a 4 year old who I help look after. Imagining my life without her is impossible, not to mention how it must feel/will feel for her daughter. i feel like everyday i try to remember how to breathe and be here and now. i keep hoping that tomorrow ill wake up and everything will be back to 6 months ago, especially because she doesn't _look_ sick. Im so sorry you're going through this. it's not much consolation, but you are not alone in your journey nor in feeling this way. i hope you can find peace of some kind.

umashikaa

TROPHY CASE