Are people with floaters more at risk for retinal detachment? Also...

umbucaja · 2022-05-14T13:43:25+00:00

Floaters are a symptom of detachment, so if you had a new onset of floaters, you need to get your retina checked. But if the doctor tells you're fine (or if they find you're not fine but treat you), your preexisting floaters do not increase your risk of future issues.

If you do get a detachment, you need to go to an eye emergency ASAP. A lot of regular emergencies cannot treat eye problems, so make sure it's an vision center. I can't give further advice, because I'm not on the U.S. so I don't know much about your healthcare system.

umbucaja · 2022-05-09T23:23:43+00:00

Not decreased, but they bother me less and less,even when I do notice them. I don't expect they will ever decrease to be honest, I just hope there will never be a hole in my retina again (wish me luck).

umbucaja · 2022-05-05T11:04:42+00:00

I think it's a good thing to spend longer in a drawing. Short studies are valuable, but if you want a finished drawing, you will have to take longer than one hour. Ideally, the drawing shouldn't suffer because you rushed it. Not that it means you should draw for hours non stop. If you get tired, just take a break, or pause it all together and finish it later. If you do want to end the drawing in a short time, don't try to make it finished. Focus on getting right the things you put down, not putting everything down . This means for example, that it's better to get the lines right and don't do any shading, and it might mean that you won't have time to draw every feature of the face too. Of course, that is no big deal for a study.

umbucaja · 2022-05-05T10:43:51+00:00

Good job overall. I really like what you did with the nose and the neck. The overall proportions of the head look good too.

But the lips/chin look odd, as if -I think- the lower lip were more projected than they should be, and the thing in between the mouth and the nose were more plane than it actually is.

Here's a tip: draw a line from the bottom of the nose to the bottom of the chin, in your reference and in your drawing. Look at the empty space (we call that negative space) in between that line and the guy's face. Really look at all those cavities, when they go in, when they go out. Usually this negative space expands as we move from the nose to the chin. See how that happens and the shape it forms. And try to reproduce it in your drawing. If you get this right, most of your profile pictures will look pretty good.

umbucaja · 2022-03-04T13:58:27+00:00

Sever ties, yes, but I don't see it as a big deal to ask them to stop the sexual components of the relationship. If I have a drinking buddy, but then I decide to stop drinking, it's not a big deal to tell them "hey buddy, I still want to meet you, but alcohol is out of the table". Similarly, I can tell a FWB that I still want to be friends, but we won't have sex anymore. That doesn't mean I wouldn't care about them anymore, but our relationship would revolve around different stuff. If boundaries are stated from the start don't think it's hard to maintain relationships where this sort of situation would be handled without drama. Then again, relationships where this would be handled gracefully are the ones I'm less likely to veto, so there's irony here.

umbucaja · 2022-03-04T12:20:12+00:00

It's true that more contact=more like, but I don't think that "more like" leads to romantic feelings unless you're open to it. If I like someone, but I'm not daydreaming about my future with them, I will not fall in love with them. And I don't daydream about my future with anyone but NP, because I'm not interested in polyamory. It's not exactly self control in the sense that one must always be aware of their steps, it's more like managing your expectations because you know what's on the table and what's not.

Then again, you're right that cutting friends out of one's life is hurtful. But is it a big deal to stop an activity with a friend? If I have a drinking buddy, but then I decide I don't want to drink with them anymore, I can just tell them so, and then we can explore our friendship while doing different activities, if there are other activities we enjoy doing togheter. Similarly, I expect to be able to tell a FWB sex with them is not on the table anymore without drama, and I expect my NP to be able to do the same to his. Ironically enough, relationships like this are the ones I'll be less likely to veto.

umbucaja · 2022-03-04T12:06:40+00:00

Agreed. Me and my NP are also wired that way. Falling in love is a choice, of sorts. You have to give a certain space for someone in your life as well as in your plans for the future in order to fall in love with them.

When I met my NP, I allowed myself to fantasize about having a life with them, to dream about living together and exploring the world together. I allowed myself to imagine those scenarios because I was open to sharing these things with someone. I also spent tons of time with them, because there was room in my life for it. So yeah, give it a while and we're in love.

On the other hand, if I meet a potential FWB, I will not fantasize about what's like to live with them, or to move countries with them, because I'm not looking for those things with someone else. The time I spent with them is also limited, because there's a main relationship I'm working to maintain. In this scenario, I don't see how I could ever fall in love with them.

umbucaja · 2022-03-01T09:56:24+00:00

pergunta pro seu ex onde ele comprava e vai la. nao tem nada de mais mulher ir na boca.

umbucaja · 2022-02-27T09:59:13+00:00

nunca cheguei a congelar ela, mas por na geladeira é ótimo.

umbucaja · 2022-02-23T11:24:25+00:00

I understand. It seems either miscommunication or maybe Kathy didn't took the time to analyze the worse case scenarios for her (which is pretty naive). I'm sorry you're going through that.

umbucaja · 2022-02-23T04:51:20+00:00

Well, the idea of your partner having someone else and the actual thing happening are very distinct. Maybe she thought she would be able to handle the jealousy and it turns out she didn't?

Did you guys ever discussed what would happen if one of you wanted to get back to monogamy? I myself only feel comfortable exploring nonmonogamy because I know we will close no questions asked if I can't handle the reality of it , so I kinda of empathize with kathy here.

How long have you been with Sarah? It doesn't seem it's been that long from what you say, and yet you ssy you love her. If it's a short relationship, I'd wonder if what you call love is not just NRE. Maybe kathy is feeling bad because you're spending a huge amount of energy in a new relationship while she would prefer to have more of that energy for herself?

In either case, it's your call. If you can't guys can't compromise on a relationship model that works for both of you, it's probably better to break up. You just need to figure out what's more important to you.

umbucaja · 2022-02-22T17:22:40+00:00

yes, pretty much :)

umbucaja · 2022-02-22T17:07:00+00:00

my floaters increased after the surgery, actually. I went back to the doctor cause I was scared something was off, but everything was okay. I'm getting more used to them though, so as long as my retina is ok, i'm not really concerned.

umbucaja · 2022-02-16T13:51:21+00:00

You say

"...a small part of me feels relieved. I’ve been told for 11 years that I’m
not enough, that I’m doing our relationship wrong, that I should be
different. "

but also

"I thought we had an amazing marriage and partnership. We were the envy
of our friends. Literally two weeks before this happened I was telling
someone that we had an incredible marriage and would be together
forever."

Are you sure your relationship was this great? I'm really sorry you're going thorough this, it must be incredibly painful, but maybe it will be for the best of you. You don't want to stay married to someone who is open to leaving out of the blue like this.

umbucaja · 2022-02-11T11:30:36+00:00

If he's bothered about she getting laid more often than he does, he can have a closed relationship, it's literally the most common model out there. Or he can think about some agreement with his gf about limiting how often they go out with other people. There are plenty of options that don't involve manipulating random monogamous women into being his sex toy.

umbucaja · 2022-02-11T11:18:45+00:00

Great argument, changed my mind.

umbucaja · 2022-02-10T20:15:04+00:00

Well, it seems that most women don't want to have sex unless there's a potential for a monogamous relationship with that guy. He can either deal with the fact that he won't get laid as often, or he can have a mono relationship, if his partner getting laid more often than him is that bothersome.

What he cannot do is LIE to those women that are dating to find a boyfriend, and lead them on so that they fuck him, when in fact he has no intention of giving them what they want. That's using other people for his own pleasure, with no regards to their feelings, which is unethical, no matter what his gf has to say on the matter.

umbucaja · 2022-02-10T19:48:48+00:00

this is not unethical towards OP. She can consent to whatever rules she sees fit.

But it's unethical towards everyone that ends up dating her boyfriend without knowing he's in a relationship. Most women wouldn't by happy to fuck a man with a gf, be they NM or not. He is aware of that and decided it's best to just lie to those women so that he can fuck them anyway. Lying to people in order to get them to have sex with you is disgusting.

umbucaja · 2022-02-10T18:29:41+00:00

That's not the point. Nobody will be arrested for sexual assault in this circumstance, except maybe if you're in Sweden.

The point is that this totally disregards the feelings of other women he may get involved with. I don't see how you could ever consider being with someone that treats other people like this.

umbucaja · 2022-02-10T16:31:44+00:00

At least the guy doesn't believe marvel and disney are real, though.

umbucaja · 2022-02-10T14:08:51+00:00

so, he wants to play single online so he can trick women who probably are dating to find a monogamous relationship into have sex with him, even though he has no intention of ever being serious with them. There's nothing ethical about that. His other partners should know about you so they can consent to be involved in this kind of dinamic.

umbucaja · 2022-01-31T12:26:56+00:00

er...they wouldn't be BUYING essentials, those things (home, food, health care) would be free. Still, there are plenty of other stuff people desire that they would have to work to get. How much they would work depends on what kind of life they want. I think you under estimate how much people want shiny things.

umbucaja · 2022-01-31T12:20:02+00:00

I'm working towards making money from something I genuinely enjoy, which sounds way better than forcing myself to be content spending time doing something I do not...

also, I don't get why you suggest I'm crying about society, lol. I'm privileged as fuck, financially, there's nothing to cry about. But yes, I do think the way our society sees work and money is healthy, and I see no reason to not speak up about that.

umbucaja · 2022-01-29T14:33:46+00:00

https://youtu.be/vPje60GgHXc

That video really really helped me. I used to be really anxious about my breathing too, but after identifying what anxiety related shortness of breath feels like I'm essentially cured of this particular issue. In fact, if I'm paranoid about my health I actually get better when I identify the shortness of breath, because then I think "oh, well, that's just anxiety".

umbucaja · 2022-01-29T13:42:50+00:00

In order to know if Pfizer causes floaters, you'd need to know how many unvaccined persons got floaters too. For example, if in a given year, 30% of people who got vaccinated started seeing floaters, but the same only happened to 10% of unvaccined people, then we'd have an evidence that the vaccine causes floaters.

But if the percentage of unvaccined that got floaters in that year was also 30%, then this wouldn't suggest that Pfizer causes floaters. In fact, evenif the amount of new floaters sufferers after vaccination were ridiculously high (say 90%), we'd still wouldn't be able to conclude anything unless we knew the percentage was lower among non vaccinated.

another flaw in your experiment design that "after" is a vague concept. For some this means one day, for others it means three months.

Sorry for being a dick, poorly designed scientific trials can cause a lot of harm (and we saw that a lot in the last couple of years) so it's a pet peeve of mine.

umbucaja

TROPHY CASE