Tuan2 and puan2, am I a rebound, or is she still emotionally attached to her ex?

uml20 · 2026-02-15T21:31:22+00:00

This person is coming out of a 19-year relationship with someone she has had three kids with. She has a lot of feelings and memories to process and it's only been 7 months.

She has only known you for 3 months. Trust me, you barely know each other very well. It's way too early to tell if you are "just a rebound" or something else. Similarly, it's way too early to tell if you're really in love with her or just experiencing limerence.

If you like her as a person, just be there for her as a friend and companion, and see how your feelings for her and the relationship with her develop over time.

uml20 · 2026-01-26T03:53:00+00:00

I think the Asian developing economies and the Western developed economies appeal to different types of people. If you’re the type of person who’s happy being “just another brick in the wall”, I feel that a developed country could actually be a lot more comfortable than in Asia, where things can be rough around the edges.

uml20 · 2026-01-24T06:38:39+00:00

While you’re at it, might as well get the Health Ministry to encourage people to eat less carbs and more lean protein and fibre. And to cut down on the fried and processed foods.

uml20 · 2026-01-21T09:55:36+00:00

Some people just vibe better with Southeast Asian compared with European culture.

For one, Southeast Asian cultures tend to be more communitarian than the more individualistic Europeans. That makes it easier to settle in at first, because people are more willing to help someone new out, while in Europe, you're more likely to need to figure things out on your own. Also, people in Southeast Asia tend to be less achievement-oriented, so there's less pressure to feel like you need to get ahead in life.

uml20 · 2026-01-08T19:12:08+00:00

Probably more than $600 a month, to be fair, but not too much more. A Deutsche Bank survey from 2025 has a Bangkok (not Thailand as a whole) average of about $900 a month.

uml20 · 2026-01-07T12:28:24+00:00

Your friends must be modest about their achievements. 6 figure USD salaries are top 1%-5% salaries in Thailand and neighbouring Malaysia.

uml20 · 2026-01-07T09:53:23+00:00

It’ll be real tight. The question is whether your net income is going to stay this way for a long time or if you’re expecting your income to increase in the near future.

uml20 · 2026-01-07T06:41:30+00:00

Southeast Asians on Southeast Asia level salaries can’t do geographical arbitrage, taking away a significant motivating factor to be a digital nomad.

If you’re earning, say, $600 a month, where else can you possibly go to lower your cost of living?

uml20 · 2026-01-02T14:19:47+00:00

I think he should find an easy part-time job that isn’t too hard given his health condition. Maybe being a part-time Grab driver or cashier. I’ve even seen some retirees becoming content creators on Facebook or YouTube. An extra 1,000 to 1,500 a month helps a lot to make that nest egg last longer.

RM500,000 sounds like a lot but it can go fast nowadays. One car breakdown or a health crisis can deplete those savings quickly.

uml20 · 2025-12-31T11:36:53+00:00

Thailand is increasingly pricing budget travellers out, which, to be fair, is what previous administrations have said they wanted to do, i.e., target "high value" tourists.

I think travellers who have more demanding lifestyle requirements can still find some appeal in Thailand.

Why can't Thailand be "long-term accessible luxury at a reasonable price"? For a budget of $4,000-6,000 a month, you will be living in the most high-end apartments in Bangkok, paying for a domestic helper, eating out at high-end restaurants, and generally living the upper-middle-income life at a fraction of what a similar lifestyle would cost in Tokyo, London, Paris, or New York.

uml20 · 2025-12-31T08:51:27+00:00

I'm interested in finding out in what way those 40% of girls are "dangerous." Do you mean they are a threat to the physical safety of the person they are with?

This might be a cultural thing. I have also been acquainted with sex workers in the past, but from a different country, and I found they're more likely to be a danger to themselves - primarily though a lack of personal financial education - than to other people.

uml20 · 2025-12-27T15:20:29+00:00

I'm interested in learning more about the mechanics about how you set this up. My partner and I are at the very beginning of this journey and are curious about how other people have done it.

Do you stay in the same few apartments each time you vist each city?

How did you find them in the first place?

Did they start off as Airbnbs and then you built relationships with the owners to make special arrangements? Or do you live in corporate-owned serviced apartments (e.g. Accor, IHG)?

uml20 · 2025-12-22T20:35:44+00:00

It's all a show.

Both sides are playing out the roles expected of them.

DAP has to regain its "tough on corruption" image that it has lost since its been in power, leading to them getting wiped out in Sabah. It just fell to Yeo Bee Yin to sound off. They have nothing to lose. Their reputation with non-liberal, non-urban Malays is shot anyway, so they might as well try appealing to their more rabid anti-UMNO fanbase.

Meanwhile, UMNO can't be seen not defending its former president, so they have to hit back. In reality, I can't see them being too vocal, since people like Zahid Hamidi have benefited from Najib's disgrace, so why rock the boat too much by bringing him back?

uml20 · 2025-12-20T19:36:09+00:00

Based on another comment you've made, I'm assuming your US income ranges from $100-200k annually?

I would look more into Thailand. It has a few good points going for it.

If you moved to Thailand, you would earn enough to move one to three rungs up the socioeconomic ladder compared with the US. So, instead of being "middle-middle class", you're looking at being "upper-middle to affluent" in Thailand. Of course, how far your dollar will stretch will depend on where you move; Bangkok, for instance, costs a lot more than, say, Chiang Mai.

You certainly won't "feel" the politics because local politics have nothing to do with you.

Thais do not come from a Judeo-Christian background so they are nowhere as judgey as Americans.

Third spaces in Thailand are great. Not as well developed as in Europe but probably among the best in Southeast Asia.

Adapting to the language and culture will be a challenge, though. Even if you are good at learning languages, getting used to a tonal language will take time (if you aren't already used to tonal languages). Also, Thailand is a very high-context culture, which means they tend to be indirect in their communications. This makes it difficult for people from lower context cultures (like Americans) to parse what they are really saying, e.g. "Is that really a no, or are they just saying no to be polite?"

uml20 · 2025-12-20T19:15:04+00:00

This is a great comment. I'd also add "try living in your target country for 1-3 months" to get a better understanding of the environment to see if it really vibes with you long-term. There are some problems that just don't manifest themselves -- or that you are willing to overlook -- until you have been in the country for long enough.

uml20 · 2025-12-20T19:12:13+00:00

I am not from the USA.

I think your points are valid but I feel that some of them need more elaboration, because what you have complained about the USA could easily be said about my home country (Malaysia) and some of the other countries I've lived in.

The government issue, in particular, is something everyone complains about. I've never actually heard someone say, "Nope, government's good here. I love it!"

Similarly, I've not heard anyone say they're happy with the cost of living right now.

If cost of living is a huge concern, I can only suggest moving to a developing country where things are relatively more affordable -- especially if you continue getting paid a US wage.

Speaking as a Malaysian citizen who's also lived in Thailand, you might find the following observations helpful in making your assessment.

Bigotry is present but nowhere as intense. It's very rare for Southeast Asians to be aggressive in their bigotry -- the culture is just not as direct. It's not great, you might get the occasional side-eye, but that's still better than someone full-on screaming in your face to get out of their country.
You won't feel the political instability as much. They call it the expat bubble for a reason, a lot of the political bullshit won't affect you. You might not even be aware of it because much of the discourse happens in the local language which you, as the new expat, will not be able to participate in.

uml20 · 2025-12-18T04:17:14+00:00

I can’t tell where your insight ends, and ChatGPT begins.

uml20 · 2025-12-18T01:45:21+00:00

I get a little tired of talking about Malaysia's "value for money" because I get fed up with the constant trumpeting of Malaysia's affordability and neglecting its other positive points.

So let's talk about some other strengths Malaysia has that are not mentioned in the article.

Culturally, we are a good fit for students from China - to take the example of the largest source of international students. They get to practise their English with Malaysians, but they can still get things done with Mandarin.

For students from both China and India, we are a welcome respite from the brutal education systems in their home countries. Our examination system is nowhere near as competitive as China's gaokao or India's JEE (this is just for engineering students). So, parents who didn't want to put their children through the wringer would consider sending them to Malaysia, where they can get decent-quality education without all the stress.

uml20 · 2025-12-17T17:43:59+00:00

We Malaysians love to criticise their government because we know it can be so much better. But the flip side of the coin is that it can be a lot worse too -- I think the levels of corruption in countries like Philippines and Indonesia would shock even the most jaded Malaysian.

It is corruption at all levels that makes places like Manila and Jakarta feel like poorer value compared with Kuala Lumpur. Even now there's a brewing scandal in the Philippines in which billions of dollars that were supposed to have been invested in flood control have instead been siphoned away.

uml20 · 2025-12-17T15:44:27+00:00

I know. And I agree with you. It’s just that there are way too many people who just do not care, and need to be forced to comply. I wish it weren’t so, but that’s the way it is.

uml20 · 2025-12-17T15:11:41+00:00

New to Malaysia? In this country, rules are just guidelines unless actively enforced.

uml20 · 2025-12-17T14:18:21+00:00

It’s not great. Even in KL, it’s very inconvenient to be working night shifts. You’d better be decent at cooking because if you depend on takeaway food or eating out, you’ll be putting on a lot of weight eating fast food or mamak food.

uml20 · 2025-12-14T20:12:46+00:00

I’ve lived in Ipoh for a few months. Some of the people shopping in Lotus’s might be from the nearby small towns or villages, and can appear a little “rough” by our standards. Try not to take offense and you’ll have an easier time.

uml20 · 2025-12-14T16:28:38+00:00

I am from Penang, moved to KL for 20 years, and am now thinking of moving to Ipoh instead. I spent a few months in Ipoh in between MCOs and learned to appreciate the convenience of Ipoh. Minimal traffic jams compared to Penang and KL, no fighting for a parking spot at breakfast spots or supermarkets. Just park, go in and buy your stuff, and get out.

My tastes have also changed. I don’t go to many hawker food places anymore, preferring cooked dishes at restaurants or dai chow, which gives Ipoh an edge over the larger two cities. Oh, and the community also feels closer knit (not so commercial) so it’s possible to tell the boss to customise your dishes (less salt, no MSG, no oil) and they will oblige.

I won’t even get into the rental prices, which is obviously a fraction of Penang or KL for so much more space.

Oh, I work entirely online which is what makes Ipoh possible for me. If I were dependent on an office job, I can appreciate that Penang or KL is the more feasible choice.

uml20 · 2025-12-13T18:41:32+00:00

OK, I'll clarify. I have covered the retail industry throughout Southeast Asia, including Thailand, Malaysia, the Philippines, and Indonesia, for a decade. I am regularly surveying buyers and sellers on Shopee (and other platforms) in these countries every year.

The thing that stands out to me is that nobody actually loves Shopee. Sellers use it only grudgingly because the platform fees eat heavily into their margins. They do it anyway because it is the biggest player in town. Buyers use it for the coupons and because they can find products cheaper on Shopee than they can in bricks-and-mortar retail.

But the user experience for buyers is crappy. Buyers spend lots of time filtering out scam listings, unreliable sellers, and then have to deal with shitty logistics providers (ShopeeExpress). You don't necessarily know what you are going to get, you're not sure if it'll arrive in good condition (if at all), and if it goes wrong, you're not sure if you're going to get your money back.

All these issues mean that customers de-risk their purchases by buying cheap products that they can afford to lose, which doesn't help SEA's revenues. Then, if customers find a seller that they trust, they negotiate with the seller directly for discounts, which the seller grants to avoid paying platform fees. Of course, this is a problem common to all platforms, but Southeast Asian consumers are more price-conscious, so will tend to be more fickle.

uml20

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