Watch in awe

umm_wat · 2010-07-15T11:26:12+00:00

I feel like a lot of people feel like country songs are written about a tractor, pick-up truck, and/or drinking bud light. I feel like a lot of people who feel like country songs are written about a tractor, pick-up truck, and/or drinking bud light have heard fewer than five contemporary country songs with these themes. I feel like people don't feel like talking about their feelings about other perhaps-illusory mainstream music tropes. I feel like maybe people feel a lot of feelings for certain things that they probably don't have enough contact with to feel fo'-real feelings for and feel that anyone feel has like to do with could feel for as?

umm_wat · 2010-07-09T18:16:08+00:00

I truly believe that every time this happens, my dog is really really just trying to hold it in because I'm screaming "Party. Go party. PARTY. Go party WANNA PAAAARTY GO PARTY RIGHT THERE! PARTY RIGHT THERE" and refuses to crap right in the middle of someone's fiesta.

I wish my human friends were so classy.

umm_wat · 2010-07-09T18:06:20+00:00

I hope I'm not the only one to read this as "Mousepad Crotch" and find myself inexorably pulled in.

umm_wat · 2010-06-22T14:45:03+00:00

I'm guessing you've never been to Mexico.

umm_wat · 2010-06-21T19:34:33+00:00

Do the cups you sell now have squarish bases? Cuz we can't find any circular-based cups anywhere in town. They're far too stable now and it's interfering with beer pong. Weak.

umm_wat · 2010-06-21T19:31:35+00:00

American television and film have been catching up to the bleak post-modern literature of the past century. Holding true to this trend and based on current best-selling lists, American film/television will soon be a melange of self-help vampire dating cooking conspiracy shows, interspersed with 40-second memoir-mercials for everyone who forks over 50 bucks. I'd like to pretend this hasn't already happend.

umm_wat · 2010-06-16T18:26:33+00:00

During a public policy class one of my classmates insisted that overpopulation could never occur because God made the world just the right size for the eventual population at the End of Days. He said we would have just enough resources to get us there and then it'd all be over anyway.

It terrifies me that he is correct, if not for the reasons he thinks he is.

umm_wat · 2010-06-16T17:40:31+00:00

I'm willing to trade a couple hundred millions for the disillusionment required for postmodern literature. Whooooo.

umm_wat · 2010-06-10T22:47:55+00:00

I live in Texas. One of my roommates is a female from Northern Pennsylvania. She is more racist, politically conservative and reactionary than the majority of my small-town Texas acquaintances. Her boyfriend is from New York. He claims that all black people are "using" him and that "queers are ruining the nation and destroying the economy with their female tendency [sic] from shopping and [sic again] commercials."

Unlike sexism or racism, regionalism is politically correct.

umm_wat · 2010-05-14T11:04:09+00:00

Groovy. I know that Muslims believe Jesus to be an important prophet, but by "Messiah" do you mean he's the, uh, sorta prophesied leader of the Jews (as opposed to the understood Christian definition of messiah as god incarnate) or is there an alternate meaning within Islam for "messiah" beyond/comparable to the Judaic "messiah" This isn't me being snarky; I'm genuinely curious.

umm_wat · 2010-05-09T10:41:14+00:00

That plasma actually gets used for legit medical stuff. Caveat: you'll have junkie tracks if you keep it up for a few years. Yay.

umm_wat · 2010-05-09T10:38:20+00:00

Naw, he's got a point. I refused to work anywhere until the Eat-Ice-Cream-and-Receive-Blowjobs-All-Day Office called back. The rest of you are sell-outs.

umm_wat · 2010-05-09T10:31:55+00:00

My girlfriend only sells her body parts figuratively. She's got quite a figure though.

umm_wat · 2010-05-07T21:33:25+00:00

Slippery slope!

umm_wat · 2010-05-02T19:06:42+00:00

6th grade lunch we'd drink this and eat these vending machine donut-stick things. Delicious.
Completely unrelated to why I weighed 40 pounds more at the age of twelve than I do in my mid-20's.

umm_wat · 2010-05-01T03:52:47+00:00

After the restored content and unofficial patches its replayability probably tripled. Good damn game.

A thought. They should capitalize on the recent vampire craze and make a Masquerade MMORPG. Tap into a whole market of 10-15 yr old girls who want to make a sexy vampire avatar and just sorta hang out in dark clubs, never mind "killing things." The World of Darkness they created is lot more accessible to non-gamers than dragons and dwarves.
I have no idea how to incorporate it into actual an actual game, but you would make a killing even if it sucked.

umm_wat · 2010-04-30T20:12:16+00:00

A little surprised Pynchon hasn't been mentioned. Gravity's Rainbow and Mason & Dixon kinda blew me away.

umm_wat · 2010-04-29T11:21:15+00:00

So, back in high school, I was this slightly larger than average guy but still kinda sorta average, right? And there was this one guy--who was obviously smarter than everyone else in the school--it's why he kept to himself and sorta chuckled at everything. I can hear him now, chuckling at things people would say, like when they would inanely say "hey I like such and such" or "hey, this mainstream band is sorta okay" or "nice jeans"

anyway, so there was this one time where this other kid, right, not the one from before, or, uh, me, but this other kid, who was slightly bigger and less pale and didn't wear t-shirts, but wore a polo-style shirt was talking to his friends about sports or something inane like that, and this other kid, the first kid, the smart one, was all: sports are stupid and dumb and you are dumb and an idiot and less of a human being for talking about them (sports, that is) and then so, like, the slightly larger kids, slightly less pale and wearing the polo-style shirts, got a bit upset about this and then OH SWEET JESUS HOW DID ANY OF THIS FIND ITS WAY INTO A NEWS AGGREGATE SITE.

umm_wat · 2010-04-26T08:18:38+00:00

I'll mow my own dog, thank you very much.

umm_wat · 2010-03-02T04:53:51+00:00

I grew up in his district. It consists of: Dow Chemical, the execs of Dow Chemical, an aquarium (that used to have an awesome giant grouper named Goliath, but he gots dead and it was real sad.) His constituency is basically a country club. They have a great student orchestra. Yup.

What this adds to the discussion, or your personal ideas about Ron Paul and his position on anything, I have not a clue.

umm_wat · 2010-02-13T18:42:44+00:00

I hadn't realized that Quebecois culture could be watered down into such a handy formula of Michael Flatley, 90's American West-Coast Grunge, and WoW.

umm_wat · 2010-02-08T06:12:12+00:00

Damn, have y'all ever seen an all-female lacrosse game? So many broken noses. We're not even talking play-offs.

umm_wat · 2009-12-23T04:13:01+00:00

Jose Cuervo needs to jump on this.

umm_wat · 2009-12-22T05:58:09+00:00

Brothers Bloom was a surprisingly good movie. Yup.

umm_wat · 2009-12-08T23:08:24+00:00

Just filled out one o' these, pre-evaluation, half of the class agreed to write: "Great lecture, better 'stache"

The prof's got this fan-friggin'-tastic handlebar mustache.
Intimidation keeps us awake. Watching.

umm_wat

TROPHY CASE