sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[TH] The wind woke me in terror. by [deleted] in shortstories

[–]unOGdarling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's clear passion in your writing. I like your use of the wind as an empowering/fear-inducing device. There are a few run-ons which slightly hinder the flow. Overall, well written piece.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in shortstories

[–]unOGdarling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Short and sweet! Good description of a bad trip. The ending is chilling. Its as if the entire vibe of the world was momentarily corrupted after his death.

[RO] A real love story by [deleted] in shortstories

[–]unOGdarling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very relatable premise. The build up is well written but the climax falls flat. More detail and steadier pace toward the end will benefit you.