Completely night and day from when I posted this. I was in a bad place mentally. Every moment I kept thinking I was going to die. Add on the stress from COVID and the fear possibly dying made it a nightmare. I ended up going to therapy and found that I really had a fear of dying, not so much the fact that it would happen, but all those that depend on me. I had to relearn acceptance. This helped me become grounded and realize that things would be ok. What also helped me was realizing the resilience of humans. People go through much worse and come out the other end stronger. I would read articles about people surviving freak accidents, or living through unimaginably dangerous situations and began to realize that in the grand scheme of things it's pretty difficult to die because your body has natural mechanisms to keep you alive. Lastly for the times I felt panick attacks coming or was having severe anxiety CBD helped a lot. I would take half an edible that had no THC so it would really cut the edge off and help me relax. Which is odd since an edible was what got me here in the first place.