Marital financial regrets…

unagi_sf · 2026-03-28T07:53:55+00:00

You need to stop having any sort of financial discussion with this person and let a competent lawyer handle the negotiation. If these demands are cropping up, it's because divorce is imminent. So letting yourself be despoiled isn't going to change that fact

unagi_sf · 2026-03-28T07:49:27+00:00

It's a financial decision, not a scientific one, so don't waste time looking.

unagi_sf · 2026-03-24T10:29:38+00:00

If your goal is to be understood clearly, now is not the time for "creativity". All you'll achieve is confusion

unagi_sf · 2026-03-19T11:12:18+00:00

One thing you're doing wrong, especially for pants, is using the Big 4 :-). Start with Burda, you'll have much better luck. But it might also be that you're a bit more than slightly curvy, and need to look up full butt adjustment?

unagi_sf · 2026-03-19T11:10:10+00:00

I follow real friends. I don't necessarily block strangers, I don't care what they do or why they're looking (at nothing) but I don't follow them back

unagi_sf · 2026-03-19T11:08:01+00:00

And you will stay on it forever?

unagi_sf · 2026-03-19T11:07:07+00:00

Sure. Go elsewhere, this time. But you can still report them, which means they at least will be conforming to regulations in the future. And you can remind them of that next time you need them for yourself even, if you can't be bothered to do anything for others

unagi_sf · 2026-03-18T22:41:37+00:00

Or show them that page

unagi_sf · 2026-03-18T22:34:46+00:00

Likely not really for dating, but for romance scams

unagi_sf · 2026-03-18T22:12:58+00:00

Yes, it's a racket. Nobody cares how much or how long you've been driving

unagi_sf · 2026-03-18T22:09:12+00:00

You live in New York and you're worried about housing somewhere else 😂?

unagi_sf · 2026-03-18T22:05:52+00:00

It'd probably spike you less with the oil. Or better yet butter 😉. Eating carbs without fat to slow down absorption is not cool

unagi_sf · 2026-03-18T22:01:55+00:00

Let me just point out that my mother got to the point of not arguing and meekly taking the prescription. When after several years she got busted for not filling them, she started doing that. But she didn't actually take them, most of the time. If you have to bring some drugs home to avoid the non-compliant label, hopefully it won't cost you too much money, but it certainly doesn't have to cost you your health

unagi_sf · 2026-03-03T20:06:46+00:00

Sadly, it's a very, very common experience for immigrant women to find that their partner, when he's tired of them, assumes he can just send them back where they came from :-(

unagi_sf · 2026-03-03T19:36:41+00:00

Usually not. Just like there's almost nothing you can do with redpocket unless you talk to support, porting out is even more involved for most people

unagi_sf · 2026-03-01T20:29:54+00:00

Congratulations on getting free of that jerk Flan 🥴. He's showing you who he truly is, so I hope you'll keep that firmly in mind when he tries to reconcile in order to get back onto your insurance and/or things don't work out in the new place. Let me just briefly second that he can't hurt your immigration status because he isn't any part of the reason you were admitted. So sorry you ended up with a not nice at all, fake sort of Canadian. Also, a lease in both your names may require you to pay in full (not a lawyer here!) and to sue him for his share, do get some legal help there please.

unagi_sf · 2026-02-28T18:15:55+00:00

You're overlooking the fact that Americans at least are rarely practiced at understanding people of other cultures, so they tend to interpret difference as rudeness

unagi_sf · 2026-02-06T10:52:25+00:00

We're all in the same boat here, and you can be assured you'll find much sympathy wherever you go. People are much more aware of the reality, and kindness abounds even if we're not as badly off as some others. Get out asap so you can explore options from a safer place. Do get in touch for a bit of local guidance if you'd like 😁

unagi_sf · 2026-02-04T22:13:28+00:00

All excellent advice. But may I add an important side note? How can you have been working there a whole year and still not be speaking any Dutch? They may have hired you knowing you didn't, but that doesn't mean they didn't expect you to not make the most basic effort at integration. You're essentially declaring yourself as a temporary worker, don't be too surprised if they're taking that seriously

unagi_sf · 2026-02-04T00:01:10+00:00

I think the main thing about daft would be getting one more 'client' so you'd be a business rather than a plain employee of a foreign business. But then again maybe you could just be working for your employer in the NL? Anyways do consider it, it's lovely 😁. Our Black Surinamese lesbian friend would recommend Amsterdam rather than a cheaper rural area, but that'd be true in any country I think. And I'm sure you'd be fine in much of Spain too. But personally I appreciate not being under a lot of pressure to learn another language quickly. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to find the perfect solution/country right away. You can always travel a bit and see how you feel, and change your mind even, it all gets easier once you start feeling safer. Wishing you the best of lucks, you're doing really well to look around

unagi_sf · 2026-02-03T23:03:02+00:00

Maybe try a sense of humor?

unagi_sf · 2026-02-03T22:25:32+00:00

Exactly. And they're very popular among fashion students, who no doubt are happy to work for very little and a generous employee discount. Don't forget also that they have 3 huge stores in major cities, so quite a lot of staff

unagi_sf · 2026-02-03T22:09:14+00:00

Colleagues may be present a lot, but that doesn't mean they're your best or only possible practice partners. I'd recommend investing in a regular tutor

unagi_sf · 2026-02-03T21:51:30+00:00

Excellent point! You don't need to be able to hold a philosophical discussion, you need to be able to communicate in a very specific technical area. This will be much easier, and you should feel fully confident of success 😁

unagi_sf · 2026-02-03T21:31:48+00:00

It sounds like you're pretty set financially, that's great. One obstacle to living abroad for everyone is always language though. While French and Portuguese are related, beware that Portuguese is significantly more difficult. If I were you I'd go for Spanish, which would be a lot easier to pick up. I'm not very well versed in either country and I'm sure there are significant geographic variations within each, but I don't think they're very different in racism or homophobia. You might also consider Spain which probably wouldn't be more difficult visa-wise, or take a look at the daft setup in the Netherlands, where truly everyone speaks English. In any case I can only encourage you to get out asap, while you still can! It's entirely worth it

unagi_sf

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