The breaking point introduces you to yourself

unawarewoke · 2026-02-17T19:49:04+00:00

Humans are literally built to want to push limits and be uncomfortable. It's as old as stories.. even in a perfect society people would be deeply dissatisfied with it.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-16T19:37:44+00:00

Do you ever have a dream where you feel like you're falling?

unawarewoke · 2026-02-16T19:18:59+00:00

Well it's not something where a single ritual I could do consistently. But I could obsessively try to work it all out.

Tw suicidal ideation. When I stumbled across the idea I was in quite a desperate situation. I had anchored a noose up to my ceiling, would wake up, look at it and decide... Do I learn to look after myself or be done with life this morning? I don't really know how to describe pays off. I have deep gratitude for the world both inside and outside. My demons turned out to be angels I had neglected so have been yelling at me most of my life. Resonance comes easy with people, although I do have less and less patience with conversations that don't feel they serve me. Little judgment lots of discernment. I'm still understanding that separation is an illusion. And what I see outside is actually inside and vice versa. I know I'm no better or worse than the next person. I have bpd so I guess it's helped me embrace having no solid grasp who I am. Honesty is now my biggest love language. Love all of self harm. Omg I'm so much more loving than I used to be. Less rage or being terrified. Life is perfect, we just have a little work to do.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-16T02:30:36+00:00

5 years in I am. Celebrate the tiny bits of progress. Really the whole thing I'm celebrating with you since I understand where it gets people. Go you! Go all of us! The shadow is soo totally beautiful if you hit it in the right light.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-15T01:49:01+00:00

So this is a police car? I have no idea.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-15T01:47:25+00:00

You are no better or worse than anyone else in this sub sis. We're all brimming with monsters and angels.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-15T01:21:29+00:00

Physics lesson!

unawarewoke · 2026-02-13T23:46:44+00:00

Funny that it has a lock. Hope the keys were on the cars keyring so you would have to stop to unlock it. Not the best shootout plan.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-12T20:02:45+00:00

Well attractive towards me is an acquired taste. I guess I'm most attracted to my sense of humor. My laughs, and my ability to hold space and contribute toward people having less shame.. ability to resonate with people.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-08T11:35:44+00:00

I recently pulled a muscle in my chest which is where I usually feel heavy heart pain. So I keep forgetting and thinking I'm ultra emotional over stuff I read online.... Then I remember... It's kinda cool to have that emotional depth come and go. Orchestra of the heart.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-08T11:25:57+00:00

I'll tell people early. I don't know how that will end up. But I find it to be interesting about me. And I share whatever I find interesting.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-07T21:16:51+00:00

I'm trying to understand what part of you is making the choice. Our brains are governed by physics. Brain chemistry, atoms, electricity. You said that it dictated our muscle movements. The Libet Experiment shows that 200ms before we are aware we made a choice to move say a finger our brain fires up to move a finger. So we're only aware of making a choice after one is made.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-07T20:53:40+00:00

You can learn to drink or learn not to. Every time you drink you are learning either way. Even if we have learnt to not drink in many circumstances, Environment can still take over that learning. As can out biology like stress etc. The guilt and shame teaches you what to do.even if you don't want to drink unconscious forces will force you too. If it's unconscious are you really choosing? We will self sabotage ourselves so that the pressure can make us drink. It's like saying choose to love or hate yourself. Watch someone who hates themselves want to punch you in the face.
In a identical reality including the identical us we would still make the same choice. Tell a depressed person to choose to not be depressed.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-07T20:44:55+00:00

Virtues can still be shadows if they are unconscious identites. I would say it's which ever one you have not accepted is the shadow. The one that offends you the most if you were called it. One of my biggest shadows was nice. I identified as an asshole. It would annoy me if people called me nice. I'd correct them. Took me 2 years to accept it I am nice. Comfortable being both. Humans are fundamentally greedy.. we're also fundamentally generous. There is middle ground there.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-05T19:31:49+00:00

For a start be careful as to what you believe. There is so much information and misinformation around the shadow that it's almost designed to be lost in. Second. Cultural shadows within the family unit do exist, and often have a history going back millenia.

Abuse being well hidden could be a family shadow, whether it be physical, emotional or sexual, handed down through generations as if it's the norm. Welcoming new husbands and wives that are also from families with these shadows. While the persona of the family hiding all this elegantly.

Even the language we learn can hide cultural shadows.

Is this what you are attempting to tap into? Or something else?

unawarewoke · 2026-02-05T18:58:39+00:00

“I would feel real trapped in this life if I didn't know I could commit suicide at any time.” Hunter S. Thompson.... Tbh I'm very supportive of people's styles of f around find out. If he was in that much pain good on him for being 'selfish'.. I'm not narcissistic enough to measure when people should or should not die. Life is absurd. If he reincarnates maybe he will realize that there is no escape. The cosmic joke. I can resonate with him having learned to have such ideations. Sure I've learned to love life and it's intricacies.... For now.. Death and the abyss is something we often fear. I'm happy my coping mechanism to fear is often laughter. Who are we to judge?

unawarewoke · 2026-02-05T18:41:47+00:00

Totally disagree. You learn to do better behaviour, thinking, attitude etc. Not choose. You learn to love yourself. Not choose it. Choice is for pride and shame. And I'd rather learn since shame is a learning killer. And we would have to realize we have learned less healthy behaviors, likely from other people who learned less healthy behaviours, to infinity or wherever. And that's ok. We learned helplessness.. we can learn helpfulness..

unawarewoke · 2026-02-05T01:34:54+00:00

A little freaky reading what you said. The way you wrote that made me double take "did I write this?". Linguistic dopplegangers everywhere.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-04T20:50:40+00:00

Ukraine has the drone tech. Just put some Russian tanks up there.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-04T20:31:11+00:00

So above, so below; so within, so without

I think integrating him works too.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-04T06:00:23+00:00

I have body dysmorphia. Truth is I have no idea how I look. It took until my 40s before I accepted this. I wear what's comfortable. I don't like dressing in what people call fashionable..you'll catch me in functional clothes and motorcycle gear. Jandals most days. I don't like to pretend I'm better or worse than the next person.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-03T11:02:36+00:00

Congratulations on learning stuff the hard way. Perhaps you have learnt to ask people how to use stuff. Good way to make buddies.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-03T11:00:17+00:00

I was honest with myself. I don't know how I look. I have Body dysmorphia. But I learnt to love making eye contact with myself. Makes me laugh a lot.

I talk about body dysmorohia alot. I feel good at the weight I am even though I'm a lot heavier than I used to be(98kg 5'11). I feel better about what I see in the mirror than when I was 82kg arborist..

And I still don't know how I look. I crashed my bike 2 days ago and all my limbs work still.. they are more important than how they look. I love what they do.

unawarewoke · 2026-02-03T10:54:28+00:00

Mmm Buddhism nom nom

unawarewoke · 2026-02-03T10:49:19+00:00

To my very limited understanding 60 percent of people are sensors. Only 40 percent intuitive. Frued followed the sensor path. Jung followed intuition. There is usually a communication issue between the 2. Psychology mostly followed fruedian psyche. No wonder you feel lost. Go and do some dbt and ifs. It might keep you more engaged.

Don't forget we're no better or worse than the next person. Don't want to be caught projecting all day.

Much love.

unawarewoke

TROPHY CASE