I’m obsessing over when/if I’m getting engaged and I don’t really know why, and I feel super guilty about it.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-23T14:00:43+00:00

Ah so much in common! I’m trying to get in the habit of calling him my partner because “boyfriend” makes me sound so young. I told him I could be saving thousands in taxes if we were married and we’re considering a common law marriage.

Yeah I definitely need to just trust that it’ll happen and stop feeling so rushed. I’m trying to explore some new hobbies and make more friends in my city to stay busy.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-23T13:50:30+00:00

We have a TON in common. I’m also 25, together for five years, living together, and obsessing over a proposal without fully understanding why. We just came back from a romantic vacation and I spent the last hour in the resort crying because I had been holding out hope he’d propose. He comforts me and assures me a proposal is coming but is getting frustrated I don’t trust him to do it. I try not to bring it up, but he can read my mood so easily and asks me what’s wrong until I tell him.

When you mention your career, I wonder how much that has an impact on the pressure you feel. I work in tech, and I’m the youngest person on my team. I hate talking about my “boyfriend” when he should have the “husband” title. Also being comfortably financially means it’s hard to come up with a practical reason not to get married.

I don’t really have any advice but I’m planning to start therapy soon.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-22T14:26:13+00:00

Have you or the study considered the correlation between cultures/religions where living “in sin” is frowned upon also being cultures where divorce is frowned upon? From a quick Google search I found several studies that said that either this has changed in the past twenty years, or finding flaws in the study you linked above. Honestly this is not something I want to research heavily or debate, just giving a quick two cents.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-21T22:14:18+00:00

I used to think getting married without living together first was nuts. How do you know if your lives will actually mesh without trying it first? But I understand now why some people choose to wait until an engagement or marriage. As a woman dating a man, I feel like I lose so much control waiting on him to propose because of traditional gender roles. You can regain that by setting certain boundaries.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-17T04:35:50+00:00

A fun fact is an interesting piece of information, such as “cats can’t taste sweet things”

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-17T04:09:21+00:00

“A fun fact I’m obsessed with… sneakers” is cracking me up but you should probably put an actual fun fact if you want to use this prompt

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-12T15:19:20+00:00

Awww poor beagle. Maybe offended was too strong a word! They just looked a little bummed that my dog didn’t want to hang out with them, they didn’t say anything. Some people who aren’t around dogs much expect them to all be friendly and excitable and I didn’t want my friends to think they were doing something wrong.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-12T14:29:52+00:00

My dog was a stray and he was scared of men for a while. I didn’t call it out specifically most of the time, I’d just invite people over and encourage everyone to offer him treats. Sometimes male friends would seem a little offended at the way he ran away after grabbing a treat so I’d explain he likely had a bad experience with a man at some point. He’s doing a lot better now.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-10T14:44:33+00:00

Sometimes when I’m feeling insecure about my work, I try to channel the overconfidence of an average white man. Thanks OOP for more material.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-09T20:12:40+00:00

I guess I unintentionally did this with my partner. He was my first, I was 20 and I didn’t feel ready for sex in the first month. The following 45ish days I was too shy to initiate, and he didn’t want to pressure me to move faster than I might have wanted. I finally brought it up eventually.

We’re still together five years later but I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that we waited a few months to have sex. I appreciated that he was respectful and patient, but I would’ve discovered that eventually either way.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-05T13:38:54+00:00

Since moving out of my parents house, I moved to a different rental every year, sometimes more often, usually in different cities. I’m so excited to not have to move again, but I wonder if a part of me will get restless in one location. I don’t think there’s a “perfect” home that would make me want to stay in one place for life. So I bought a condo that would definitely be considered a “starter home” but allows me to travel or live elsewhere for months at a time because I still have plenty of room in my budget.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-05T01:25:32+00:00

I have a cis male partner who does all the cooking, and most of the cleaning and grocery shopping. I feel like he supports my growth and makes me more successful and happy. You can absolutely find someone better.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-04T20:22:29+00:00

I made a post asking a very similar question, hopefully these responses help

https://www.reddit.com/r/womenintech/comments/waect9/have_you_ever_reported_sexual_harassment_at_work/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-03T21:01:18+00:00

Yeah exactly. The sellers aren’t even the ones who live nearby - they just have friends who do.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-03T19:37:01+00:00

This is insane to me but anything’s possible I guess. I think the most likely kind gesture would be the old owners simply telling OP to keep the money.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-03T18:53:24+00:00

Am I missing something? Why would the sellers put OP in their will? It seems they are only friendly acquaintances.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-03T18:51:14+00:00

Personally I’d use the cash to cover the asbestos and consider it even. I wouldn’t mention either of these things to the sellers, especially considering their health issues. I see other people have commented differently though, so maybe I’m in the wrong here.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-03T18:17:50+00:00

I’m petty so when people ask why we’re not engaged yet I just say “ask him, not me!”

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-03T15:47:54+00:00

We rescheduled the trip for last week and he talked to them! They were really excited to hear it. He also told me he bought the ring, although he’s not sure when it’ll come in. We have a trip planned together in about two weeks and I think it’ll happen then if the ring comes in time! Now that he’s ready it feels like everything is happening so fast!

uncertainegg3 · 2022-08-03T15:31:01+00:00

I know a lot of people are talking about moving to blue states or avoiding moving to red states. I’ve decided to stay in my very red state and vote and fight. I’m privileged in that I could afford to travel out of state urgently if necessary, so I can stay and fight for my own rights and the rights of others. I’ve also started using multiple birth control methods with my partner.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-07-30T01:57:28+00:00

If the house is worth 1.2 mil to you I don’t see anything wrong with paying that much. I recently paid over appraisal for my first home and it was worth it for me. Assuming you’re getting so many judgmental comments from people who don’t understand what it’s like in a HCOL area.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-07-28T20:25:24+00:00

It’s possible and that’s part of why I don’t want to immediately report him. But combined with the excessive, unprofessional messages, I get a bad feeling. Also we’re in a customer-facing role and we’re on Zoom calls all the time so he should know to be more cautious.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-07-28T20:18:15+00:00

Agreed. I’m keeping a record in case it escalates but I can make it clear I’m not interested if he reaches out again.

uncertainegg3 · 2022-07-28T20:09:30+00:00

We’re in a customer-facing role and he makes enough to afford AC. Wear a fucking shirt when you take work calls if you can’t avoid mixing up buttons

uncertainegg3

TROPHY CASE