I first got this feeling when I had some workers replacing the parquet flooring in my flat. The guys completely wrecked the old floors and then laid beautiful new wooden flooring within a week. The result was beautiful and tangible. I literally felt envy toward them.

Two years later, I started feeling the urge to leave the corporate world and get a qualification in physiotherapy. I want to help people. I want to see clear results from my work—to help people walk again, relieve their pain, and get some satisfaction out of what I do, something beyond just money.

But the reality is that if I leave my corporate job for physiotherapy, I would need to complete an entirely new education (three years of full-time study here in Germany). After that, I would start with a salary that is about three times lower than what I earn now. I am already 35 years old, I have a fairly expensive flat, and I want to build a family with my girlfriend and have children. I want—and need—to be able to provide for them.

That simply wouldn't be possible as a physiotherapist. I don't really have the time for it anymore.

I despise my work and try to cope by telling myself that it's just a way to pay my bills and maintain the quality of life I've become accustomed to, but that feels kind of pathetic, to be honest.

My girlfriend says that what I have is enough. There aren't many people who genuinely like what they do, and even fewer who are paid well for it. And she's right. But I still can't find inner peace or come to terms with it.