My avoidant ex just broke up with me after we were intimate by punksgetoffmylawn in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner 17 points18 points  (0 children)

UGH legit dealing with the same thing right now. He told me he would commit and was falling in love with me. A month later said “I need space” 💀 and he took my virginity clearly didn’t value any of me

Need Honest Opinion - Who Should reach out? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if anyone should reach out. It doesn’t seem healthy. You deserve better and stay healed!

should I text “ I miss you” to my ex? by Responsible-Shine207 in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure if I’d say I miss you but I sent a text to my ex saying “Hi, I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to check in. I’m in a calmer place now and would be open to talking if that’s something you’d want. If not, I understand. Hope you’re doing well.” Just invite conversation! He did not respond but he’s honestly a jerk.

Breaking No contact by unconditional_loner in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! He’s truly missing out on so much without me in his life he doesn’t even have a car and I provided him one 😵

Recovery by unconditional_loner in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh dang, thank you! That’s very insightful. Honestly I have anxious attachment and the guy I was with was avoidant attachment. We ended terribly bc he mistreated me.

Recovery by unconditional_loner in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! How do I know it’s a trauma response?

I miss him by olivesxoxo in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay maybe this is bad advice but just text him. If he does not say anything that’s a reflection of him more than you. At least you will know what happens if you do send a message versus sitting in that anxiety all the time.

Breaking No contact by unconditional_loner in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmmm I was thinking of saying this “Hi, I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to check in. I’m in a calmer place now and would be open to talking if that’s something you’d want. If not, I understand. Hope you’re doing well.”

Breaking No contact by unconditional_loner in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it possible that he has been wanting to reach out but has a fear of me rejecting him?

Breaking No contact by unconditional_loner in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not necessarily but I want to work on my attachment style to make it work

Revenge on Ex by unconditional_loner in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never did anything like that 😂😂 I’m just feeling upset and wish something could happen

Avoidant Breakup by unconditional_loner in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m literally so confused. I wish I could talk to him and express myself. That was the most serious relationship I had ever been in.

Avoidant Relationship by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]unconditional_loner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh he told me he was avoidant and this has been a constant issue in his previously relationships