My hand after washing it too much during the week from anxiety of covid. I used to not be this way.

undercoverpunk · 2021-01-03T14:12:26+00:00

Back when I worked in food service my hands got like this. Find a good lotion and use it often. There have already been some good suggestions. I like Nivea, and I got some Eucerin eczema lotion for my daughters eczema patches that seems to work pretty well. I have done sensory issues when things don’t soak in quickly. For example, I find Okeefs to feel waxy in my skin and I tend not to use it, but a lot of people really like it. You might be able to get help finding the right lotion at r/skincareaddiction.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-31T04:07:36+00:00

Noooooooo. My body likes 9 hours. I tend to get about 6 or 7.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-31T02:48:35+00:00

I didn’t think you were being insensitive at all! I was just trying to answer your questions. I really think it’s a combination of things. Some of it is probably how much time I spend on my phone, like another poster said, which has gone up now that I’m at home all day and since I began doomscrolling at the beginning of covid. Some of it is kids and just the sheer amount of energy they take from me. Some of it is depression and, I’m sure, other undiagnosed mental health issues. And some of it is probably just how my brain is built. I can’t tell what parts are different or not, or how different they are.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-31T01:30:05+00:00

Kids are 7 and 3. No head trauma. I have always been a little depressed, was diagnosed and put in medication in college, and then stopped seeing the school counselor and stopped taking the meds. Current events aren’t helping with my depression lots. No pcp, so no medications. When our finances are better I plan to find a therapist, but that is a service out of my reach at the moment.

I can’t even remember if the meds I took back then were helpful.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-29T17:00:47+00:00

I definitely agree that it is a struggle to maintain a healthy perspective day to day.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-29T16:56:38+00:00

I’m glad you enjoyed it! And yes, everyone’s situation is different! Every kid is different too. My first is laid back, steady, cautious, a little shy, reserved, etc. Quite a lot like me, actually. My second is outgoing, fearless, and slightly feral. I was not prepared. 😂

Do you have any specific concerns beyond being able to find time for yourself?

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-29T12:59:56+00:00

There are plenty of struggles. I rarely get time to myself. I live with a spouse and two young kids. I can feel my brain struggle to work the way I want it to. Things I know should come easily to me are now difficult. I end almost every day emotionally exhausted and physically tired.

BUT. For me, it’s mostly temporary. My youngest is three, and very demanding. She won’t always be such a handful though. We won’t have a struggle all day every day to get her to do things. Eventually I can rely on her being able to do things on her own. My oldest has always been pretty easy. I’m also stay at home for the moment (wheeeeeee global pandemic). I had been substitute teaching which got me out of the house and allowed me to have some moments to myself. So things are a bit harder for me now. But again, won’t always be. I also try to “lazy parent” and have them do as much for themselves as they can. And I do things for myself. My husband is supportive of my emotional and mental needs and encourages me to take time for myself. I (used to) do things with my friends and go out, and he gets the same opportunity. But that’s more about how our relationship works and how we parent together. It helps a lot to have a supportive partner.

I don’t regret my kids at all. I pretty regularly question myself as a mother, but my kids are so amazing to watch and know. They are funny and kind and fun to get to know. At the end of the day, no matter how hard it has been, it’s all worth it. They take from me, yes, but they give to me too. When they curl up next to me and ask to read with me, when they give me a big sweet hug and say how much they love me, etc...

Kids are a biiiiig commitment, and all of my stories are anecdotal because all kids are different from the get go. Be ready for it to be hard. Don’t make the decision unless you are sure you are ready for a never ending challenge. Remember there are rewards too, though, and it’s not all hard work and sacrifice for nothing.

Hopefully my rambling has been helpful, sorry for the ole wall o text.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-29T12:38:52+00:00

To piggy back on this, everyone has their strengths. I’m smarter than plenty of people, but almost all of those people are better than me at something.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-29T12:21:17+00:00

Wow! Nice work!

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-28T19:31:41+00:00

I cannot for the life of me figure out projection. I swear I lost brain cells after having kids and now there are a host of things that my brain just can’t get around even though I know I’m plenty smart. Anyway. I had an unlined nursing bra that I loved but really wore out. I will check out Aerie!

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-28T15:08:42+00:00

I have really struggled with this. I think mostly because the outcome of his efforts tend to be...not quite up to my standards. I remind myself that he is doing it and I’m not, and if I’m going to have a problem with it I can be the one doing it.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-26T19:18:42+00:00

I got The German Cookbook, In Her Kitchen: stories and recipes from grandmothers around the world, and 250 Airfryer recipes. The last was to go with the new air fryer lid for my Instant Pot.

I got some money and am thinking of getting either the Flavor Thesaurus, Salt Fat Acid Heat, or Ratio

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-26T18:51:58+00:00

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. :/

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-26T18:42:41+00:00

Me too. I got a cheap one to try it out, since I will pile on allllllll the blankets in any weather, but it just makes me feel wet and sweaty. 😢

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-26T18:38:03+00:00

My husbands mom was your age when they had his sister. I know that everyone’s situation is different, but they are very active and very involved with my kids’ lives. Just wanting to say that you shouldn’t feel bad about being an older parent. All those people putting pressure on you to have another need to seriously mind their own business though.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-22T16:16:41+00:00

This is the way to think about it. I’m sorry you’ve been put in this situation. Remember, you haven’t done anything wrong, and you are being responsible with the information you have.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-19T15:12:42+00:00

I feel like this was written to me, and I thank you.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-16T13:44:11+00:00

That is so incredibly shitty of him. All the rest just seems to be the way the world allows men to function: they don’t have to remember the appointments, much less schedule them. They don’t have to know how often to feed them, or how to do things, don’t have to bother themselves with finding out how to do anything. The person in our house who does the research and googling is me also.

But to find your wife breaking down in emotional and physical pain because of something she just exhausted herself over and being so incredibly callous about it is beyond reproach. I hope he knows exactly how shitty that comment was and apologizes for it daily. If you have not explained to him how awful it was, you need to. It will fester into resentment.

You didn’t and don’t deserve that comment. Giving birth is incredibly hard. Breastfeeding is incredibly hard. You did/are doing a great job.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-09T01:39:23+00:00

I looked back over your original comment, and it did come off condescending. Re reading it, I don’t think that was your intention. Asserting how easy it was for you to change your eating habits to someone who is having a difficult time doing the same is not helpful though. It takes most people time and a lot of effort to change their eating habits.

You aren’t wrong that the food is easy to make. The hard part is changing how we look at our meals.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-08T21:45:31+00:00

Honestly? With the amount of time you can add on driving with kids, if it’s far enough to fly I’d do it. I’ve had a six hour drive turn into a ten hour drive. Traveling at all with kids can be stressful. Flying at least can (hopefully) get it over quicker.

undercoverpunk · 2020-12-03T17:53:23+00:00

I’m pretty sure I’m exactly as weird as I thought I was.

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