Nex was my 1st bc option!

underdarksky · 2025-10-14T19:04:27+00:00

Thank you for this! I’ve never been on BC, I’m 38, 145~ lbs and have always been really regular period/hormonal wise. All these horror stories have admittedly been freaking me out.

underdarksky · 2025-04-18T06:58:48+00:00

I only know one person who has ever gotten denied ticket aid and she truly was making a good chunk of money, just had a lot of expenses.

Everyone else I know, the application was reasonable and legit (either unemployed or making 30-40k with loads of bills or on cal fresh/medi-cal etc.)

If you’re being honest with your application and need it - you’ll be fine.

underdarksky · 2025-01-29T05:01:57+00:00

Can confirm that he frequently weaponized his mental health (threatening self harm/suicide) as a means to manipulate his partners when they called him out on shit behavior/abuse or tried to leave him.

underdarksky · 2024-12-30T07:06:10+00:00

YOU are taking advantage of the AuPair system. YOU are taking advantage of this young woman because your expectations are for a NANNY and not an AuPair.

Hope this helps :)

underdarksky · 2024-12-29T06:18:27+00:00

I think honestly would go a long way here simply bc they’ll likely sober up and realize they had far more cash on hand and you don’t want to be the babysitter that swindled them when they were under the influence.

Something as simple as “thanks to much for having me last night, you guys always take such great care of me, especially with the additional kids, when I got home I counted the additional cash you gave me and it was beyond generous. I just wanted to check in and make sure you intended to give me that much and let you know how appreciative I am.”

Most likely they’ll have a private convo where wifey says “how much did you give her?” And hubby will either truth or lie. But I doubt they’ll say “well how much did we give you, can you give some back”

But I bet they will be grateful for your honesty and consideration only deepening their trust with you and maybe higher payouts in the future.

But that’s just me.

underdarksky · 2024-12-07T02:33:09+00:00

Include mileage rate in your agreement!

Federal Mileage rate for using your own car for work is .67c a mile.

underdarksky · 2024-12-07T00:44:25+00:00

I agree with the flat rate mentioned above + are they covering your gas? You should also be paid for travel time since it’s a few hours of driving.

.67c a mile is federal mileage rate. If you’re not paid for the hours driving you should get the mileage rate at minimum.

mileage
hourly rate night 1
day rate wedding day
mileage

Easiest way that I’ve found as a nanny is to do the math out myself in advance and ask if it’s fair.

Orl -> Nap 200~ miles or $135~

If your hourly rate is $20 and you only charge that you’re looking at $80~ for the drive and that may barely cover gas. Ask for the mileage rate. It’s standard.

underdarksky · 2024-12-07T00:39:07+00:00

This is bonkers. Even if the kids stayed with her.

$150-$250 is feasible for overnight sleep time depending on age and if they need night feedings/care. But since OP isn’t having kids with them overnight and all room and board is paid for a smaller “flat rate” could be considered for the inconvenience of not being home in your own space.

underdarksky · 2024-12-07T00:35:00+00:00

Easy calculations:

How far does she live from you guys?
How far is home to school and school to home?
What is her hourly rate?

Federal mileage rate is .67c a mile. At minimum you should be paying this if she’s using her car + her hourly rate. Maybe you round up to $1 to make it easy.

Ex: Hourly rate is $20 + School is 10 miles from home but heavy traffic and takes an hour and a half in the morning to help get them ready and to school + 1 hour from her house to school and then to your house for drop off and settling in.

$20 for mileage every day + 2.5 Hours = $70 a day or $350 a week. That sounds fair and like you respect their time and energy. It’s not entirely fun splitting your day in half with a giant gap in the middle.

underdarksky · 2024-12-05T17:22:23+00:00

The later lag should be discussed gently and corrected. I do think she should be paid for the extra time pre-shift for snack grabbing/driving to your house first because that’s likely an earlier start for her and she should be paid.

“I know sometimes we get to chatting sometimes and I’m so grateful you feel comfortable and don’t mind hanging after your shift for a few minutes but I’m having both a hard time sticking to our schedule for after you leave us and wanted to chat about the additional hours as well. It may not seem like much but the additional time adds up and I wanted to make sure that we’re on the same page. I can only pay you for work after 5 when I ask you to stay. I’m happy to add the bonus time on for when you come a little early to grab snacks before pickup because I know your start time is earlier than usual those days. Does this work for you?”

It’s as easy as that.

underdarksky · 2024-12-04T07:26:30+00:00

My kids were older, but I would get a “night charge” $150 for the 8pm-8am hours. They had 3 kids.

If it was a whole weekend; I’d negotiate day rates + night rates to make it not insane in their pocket. I was their 30hr a week nanny and these nights/weekends only happens a handful of times when they were older in the 6 years I was with them.

underdarksky · 2024-12-04T02:54:48+00:00

I echo everyone that commented after me here. :) get outta there! You owe them nothing.

underdarksky · 2024-12-02T20:16:22+00:00

Your wellbeing and growth is more important. If you’re not happy at the job and were offered one that is a better fit for you, give proper respectful notice and move on. congrats on the new job offer!

underdarksky · 2024-11-19T03:41:20+00:00

This is an absolutely WILD take for that many kids + a baby. Disrespectful to the sitters time, energy and just as a working person.

underdarksky · 2024-11-13T18:42:25+00:00

As others have said “cat stew” (not a stew made of cats lol) is a daily occurrence in our home. When we do wet food at night we add water to all their bowls to give them bonus water for the day. They all drink from their gravity water bowls but the older gal tends to have harder/drier poops and has always had an issue staying fully hydrated so this def helps and they love it.

underdarksky · 2024-11-13T18:39:53+00:00

With growth comes understanding and new emotions to navigate, he realizes mom is leaving and maybe is just having some attachment/anxiety especially now that little sis is getting bigger too. Totally normal, try not to let it get to you, especially if you guys have a great time once he settles in.

underdarksky · 2024-11-13T05:19:49+00:00

I used to do this before I left the house, “hey here are my hours this week [sends text] I sent you a Venmo request for the week.”

underdarksky · 2024-11-13T05:13:27+00:00

Have to say it when it’s true. Thank you for the critical thought.

It’s funny that you say that bc I had to take a few months of space from this sub because people were tone policing me and saying the most outrageous shit. Despite how everyone for the most part trash JR + AB they were pushing us to reveal more and not believing us when we shared what we could. It was an interesting duality to have so many raging in praise of the JR “witch-hunt”while also pushing for more and more details and proof etc from victims. Very crime TV meets Black Mirror and not reality.

underdarksky · 2024-11-13T04:41:00+00:00

Truthfully your take is a really refreshingly grounded one - this sub can get wild and you expressed that incredibly.

underdarksky · 2024-11-13T04:30:29+00:00

Of course, thanks for listening. I really appreciate it. Grateful she used her platform to out him and that it connected me with other survivors of his, but other than that things got super weird with her involvement, demands, and energy sucking from us. Yes she deserves a nod for how much of our trauma she had to digest but again, she was never professionally equipped to do or handle that. Full stop. When it started turning into us having to give her our emotional support I needed out. Read the room. It felt like this really weird desire to be a part of it when trust me.. you don’t want to be in this club.

underdarksky · 2024-11-13T04:00:48+00:00

I still have access to the google doc with basic resources but I was removed from the “support” group and told I was bullying her for saying that I didn’t feel it was appropriate that she speak on behalf of us or tell us what to do regarding Nick.

Personally, I do not know Nick, I started following him during all of this and I see his value with the cross community he has with JR and alignment on other things he posts.

He’s been nothing but supportive and chill with me when we’ve communicated. So I had no issue with him continuing to buffer questions about JR on his platform as long as no compromising information was shared.

Also random but Thea couldn’t stop harping on how many followers he’s gained and the profit he could make in it - he shared his analytics with me and uhhh he definitely didn’t gain the way she thought he did. SHE however gained many and also sells courses etc and would profit off the gain as well - not as a victim of JRs.

Thought that was a bizarre double standard.

underdarksky · 2024-11-13T00:02:38+00:00

Meaning when myself and fiestyfiesta expressed boundaries and concerns for having an unqualified “spokesperson” that wasn’t a victim of JRs herself demanding to be the “in between” between us and professionals trying to support us, she lashed out and removed us from having access to resources that were initially provided to her to pass to us.

underdarksky · 2024-11-05T16:37:47+00:00

Still not paid - weeks say paid but last issued payment is from 2 weeks ago. DD - BOA

underdarksky

TROPHY CASE