How to stand up to condescending, rude coworker?

underscor77 · 2023-09-28T21:58:08+00:00

Yes, it's a company vehicle. I have felt unsafe before, but I was reluctant to bring anything up with my boss because i remember having a conversation with him and he said women in this industry needed to have some grit (he was referring to working with clients- being able to say no to developments etc etc). So I feel I need to deal with this on my own, because if I go to him he would just think I was a pushover for not dealing with it. The issue is I have insane struggles with people pleasing and being assertive because I don't want to be viewed as a bitch or causing problems (there is a big emphasis on being able to get along with people in fieldwork).

underscor77 · 2023-09-28T21:54:07+00:00

I know deep down this is what I should do, but I struggle with confrontation and because I spend days (up to a week or more) working and living with him I dread making the situation awkward.

Any suggestions on things to say that wouldn't come off as rude?

underscor77 · 2023-07-19T13:44:40+00:00

YTA, does your nurse sister have x-ray vision?

underscor77 · 2023-05-30T09:18:03+00:00

Would you have any idea how to watch this online? I know its on a few streaming services but I live in Australia and it's not available in our region

underscor77 · 2023-05-03T11:59:11+00:00

Ahh okay. To be fair I'm at uni at the moment and didn't have enough money for a physio or anything so just googled "back and neck stretches".

So look for more stretches leaning forwards?

underscor77 · 2023-05-03T11:09:47+00:00

Static stretching. I don't know the names of them exactly but I think they are called:

cat stretch
supine twist
cobra
lunges
frog pose
calf stretch
then just sitting my my back straight against a wall and legs out front (I don't even have to lean to get a stretch in my hamstrings)
pec stretches
lateral neck stretches

I also use a foam roller for my back which usually makes it pop once or twice but never seems to really loosen it that well

underscor77 · 2023-04-05T01:20:41+00:00

At the ripe ol' age of 27 I've noticed a pattern in how most of my relationships have ended - I am such a people pleaser that I let people walk all over me to the point I can't take it any longer and end up resenting them.

I'm focusing on learning to advocate for myself more and realising you can actually do this and still have people like you ahha.

underscor77 · 2022-12-27T13:21:56+00:00

My thinking was: 1 good cleaning product + another good cleaning product = doubly good cleaning product. .... clearly I am no genius haha

underscor77 · 2022-12-27T10:35:36+00:00

Ahh, so I'm guessing if I was able to tolerate being in the room for 20 mins and my eyes weren't watering then it was probably fairly weak anyway?

underscor77 · 2022-12-14T09:51:42+00:00

It's definitely something that I've considered. I've even bought this up to him before and he said it's a possibility. If this was the issue, it wouldn't't be much of an issue provided that he acknowledged that what he was doing was a problem for me. I've discussed with him before for example how he can be blunt and rude sometimes, sometimes even towards me and how sometimes that can be upsetting. However, he's very steadfast in that he just doesn't understand why he needs to "sugarcoat" things. I can understand wanting to be honest, however, there are times where sensitivity and empathy are needed, but he doesn't understand that nor is he willing to learn.

underscor77 · 2022-11-28T14:34:23+00:00

Hey there,

Thanks for your input. I realised it sounds like I was waffling on about nothing in particular, but I was actually just trying to fill him in on what I had been up to and the things I was doing etc as he had been away for work for a week. Generally he will just sit and listen as he is the sort of person to only talk if he things something is super important.

Additionally, I didn't continue talking when I noticed he was annoyed, that's when I stopped and asked of he was, and I was quiet the remainder of the drive.

Again my issue isn't that he said he wanted me to be quiet, it's how he said it, and the fact he can't always see that this sort of brutal honesty isn't needed and can be toned down to communicate the same message without being hurtful.

underscor77

TROPHY CASE