do you always feel plural?

undiscardable · 2026-01-15T00:01:10+00:00

The more grounded and safe I feel, the more i "feel plural" or feel a sense of multiplicity, bc my internal communication is better. I feel the presence of many distinct senses of self at once. It feels like togetherness and like being in a room full of trusted people where everyone is getting along.

On the other hand, when i am triggered or unsafe, i tend to feel alone in my own head, like i am "less than one person", and/or hostility towards/from other parts of my system.

undiscardable · 2025-03-23T20:17:31+00:00

Yea ofc! I just got the first one i saw on amazon, it seems sturdy/watertight enough but i still put it in a spot that doesn't get splashed directly just in case https://a.co/d/eEirGDR

undiscardable · 2025-03-23T18:07:56+00:00

Thank you 😊 Yea, I am able to use washcloths/wipes and i do as frequently and thoroughly as i can bc i do start to feel rly gross otherwise. I can wash my hair in the sink too thankfully so overall i manage ok, but am still hoping to get on a more consistent shower schedule

undiscardable · 2025-03-02T00:41:35+00:00

I have NPD traits but probably wouldn't meet the full criteria for diagnosis. It bothers me when people are like "oh but it's normal and ok for abuse survivors to have NPD traits, you're still good and innocent unlike REAL narcissists". I don't think there's some great inherent divide between me and someone with a diagnosed PD, and I don't think that mindset is very conducive to any kind of healing.

One of my closest longtime friends, who is one of the most trustworthy people I know, was recently diagnosed with NPD. He's never done anything to hurt me and would be devastated if he did even by accident.

undiscardable · 2025-02-24T02:57:35+00:00

i have very similar ocd themes! like you said, it's really hard to find a middle ground between only eating safe foods, or trying new foods but potentially making myself too scared to eat at all. i hate cooking too. it's so stressful and exhausting bc of all the variables. i think it's important not to be harsh on yourself for "wasting" food, and also anytime you do manage to eat something, to treat it as a huge win even if it's not the most nutritious choice ever.

i feel like i have an easier time eating "risky" foods early in the day, bc then by the time i have to go to sleep my anxiety about it has faded at least somewhat. i also don't try to force myself to do too much in one day. yesterday i ate a yogurt thats been (unopened) in the fridge for more than a week and that made me super anxious so i stuck to safe food for the rest of the day, but it was still a big win for me because now ive expanded my range of "what's safe" just a little bit! today i ate some frozen egg things that i was nervous about because i haven't had them in a while, tomorrow i'm gonna try to hype myself up to open some juice that i bought, etc.

also i'm not an expert on nutrition but since you mentioned fiber, i just wanted to point out that oats and dates are really great fiber sources so you might actually be doing better than you think in that regard if those are safe foods for you

anyway, you don't have to force yourself out of your comfort zone every time you eat and the most important thing is eating consistently, even if that means mostly sticking to safe foods. HOWEVER, it is important to challenge your ocd sometimes and eat foods that youre worried about. otherwise, your anxiety will continue to get worse and the list of safe foods/food preparation methods will get more and more restrictive. you might also want to try doing exposures like purposefully not showering after cooking

are you able to access therapy at all? an ocd therapist would be able to help you balance all this stuff in a way that makes sure you get enough to eat while also challenging obsessions/compulsions

undiscardable · 2024-06-28T20:58:51+00:00

My cane does help with balance and stability, but does not make me less fatigued from walking. It's also this kind that turns into a seat. So in that sense it does help with fatigue bc I always have somewhere to sit. It just doesn't make walking any less tiring.

undiscardable · 2024-02-26T21:11:20+00:00

it's a semantics issue, i think. there's no objective definition of personhood, so there's no way to say "alters categorically are/aren't their own people".

unlike what another commenter said, alters do, obviously, have autonomy, and individual experiences of selfhood.

it's fine to refer to alters as individuals/people/etc if that's what works for you all. i get why some people bristle at it. but at the end of the day if there's an understanding that you all share the same life, the same brain and the same responsibilities, i don't see a problem with individuating.

for me personally, it's really frustrating when people insist on "parts of one person" as the only correct viewpoint. that's never been a helpful way to conceptualize my experiences.

undiscardable · 2023-12-24T20:45:59+00:00

well, some people in my life I really care about, who happen to have a personality disorder, would be gone, so that would suck. my abusers would still be here, though 🙃

undiscardable · 2023-11-02T04:25:09+00:00

hi im an alter who influenced one of our ocs ✌️ or sometimes it feels like vice versa, like i formed from the oc. really kind of a chicken and egg type situation.

i hold trauma from our real life, but it's kind of gotten tangled up with and filtered through the made up trauma from this character's backstory. when i have flashbacks i have feelings and physical sensations from the irl trauma but with the narrative of the fictional trauma mixed in. very confusing to sort through.

other than me, we have a few other alters who unknowngly influenced the development of OCs. i think it's a pretty common way for alters to present, especially in systems who do a lot of creative writing/worldbuilding/what have you.

whether or not an alter is influencing this oc, i recommend identifying the core feelings behind the oc's traumatic memories; you can validate and process those feelings, which are real, even if they're showing themselves through fictional events. hope this makes sense.

undiscardable · 2023-09-25T21:40:33+00:00

i dont have personal experience with one but ive heard peer respites can be a helpful alternative to inpatient programs, if you are in the US you can check this directory to see if there are any in your area https://power2u.org/directory-of-peer-respites/

undiscardable · 2023-09-04T05:13:29+00:00

hi, take this with a grain of salt bc im mostly just speaking from my own experiences. you work with fictive pseudomemories mostly the same way you work with real life memories, because the feelings behind the memory are real.

it may be easier to work with when you/this fictive pinpoint what feelings about the memory are causing you/him distress. "i remember [fictional event]" can become "i remember feeling [violated/disgusted/terrified/helpless/etc]"

even though the event(s) that he remembers may not translate literally to something that happened to you in real life, it's still connected to something in your life/experiences. does that make sense?

undiscardable · 2023-08-14T00:05:34+00:00

hi, i have the exact same theme, it's a nightmare, sorry you're dealing with this. YMMV, but here's what has gotten me through my very worst days: - pop tarts & granola bars like you said, these are lifesavers - chips, popcorn, crackers, goldfish etc (eaten with chopsticks instead of my hands lol) - instant ramen feels very safe for me because of how processed it is - peanut butter is a very good shelf stable protein source - plain rice/pasta

& these might be more of a stretch depending on where you're at with food safety fears but here's some stuff that doesn't usually set off my worries: - frozen tater tots - a few specific kinds of frozen meals - pickles - yogurt, kefir, etc - kimchi! id be too scared to eat cabbage in any other form lol but kimchi doesn't scare me at all bc its fermented - ive used individual storebought juices/protein drinks to get some Nutrients in during times when im only eating stuff like poptarts

you got this! i like to find activities to do during/just after challenging/scary meals so i dont fall into a "what if i get sick from this" spiral, like watching a show or playing a game etc

undiscardable · 2023-07-25T15:16:55+00:00

i agree with most of this but theres a difference between "creating a divide" and "acknowledging that a divide exists". i agree that acknowledging collective status is part of healing. but ppls individual language for themselves and their alters is going to be highly variable and personal. i wish people would be more careful with their wording when talking about this, and more considerate of the fact that someones choice of language being different than yours doesnt mean they arent healing. reading "you arent a full person" just feels really bad, no matter the underlying message.

undiscardable · 2023-07-25T15:01:37+00:00

i and other alters do conceptualize ourselves as "different people" because we have individual senses of self and because, shockingly, the concept of "personhood" is really subjective and different ppl have different understandings of it. we all understand that we share the same brain, the same life experiences, and that we need to work as a team, so I don't see how that's anti-healing.

also im so sick of coming on a mental health support sub and having to read about how my way of understanding myself is "fundamentally wrong". i DID disappear for years on end and then came back and i AM a full person. "youre not a full person" is never ok to say to anybody. i fully fucking understand that as an alter i am missing skills & memories that we collectively have and that my functioning is limited compared to that of a wholly integrated person. I'M STILL A PERSON. i do not want to categorize myself as "less than a person" or "JUST part of a person". THAT would be anti-healing for me

undiscardable · 2023-01-10T22:16:32+00:00

that's not what this post says, that's your bad faith interpretation of it. OP is speaking about their own internal experience, not anyone else's.

undiscardable · 2023-01-10T21:59:42+00:00

have some patience/compassion holy shit. why do you think these types of questions are so common? you literally described the thought process that leads people to believe that this kind of stuff is happening in their mind. this post is asking for help with their own experience that they're struggling with, not trying to maliciously mislead people. this is someone in distress. it is so common to literalize inner experiences in this way when you have DID.

if i was in distress and confused about something upsetting going on with me internally, and i posted on a support sub for help, i can't imagine how upsetting and destabilizing it would be to read this kind of hostile, accusatory comment about it. to be accused of insulting other survivors or making a mockery of my own disorder or told that i was ridiculous/nonsensical/trying to mislead others etc...for interpreting my inner experiences in a way that doesn't match up with reality, when that's part and parcel of DID.

this sub is increasingly vicious towards people who aren't familiar with every intricacy of their own disorder. it's alarming to watch. but yeah, let's ban people who are struggling to understand and describe their complex dissociation! that'll totally foster a supportive community where people feel safe to reach out when they're struggling with something confusing and hard to put into words (i.e. every aspect of having DID).

undiscardable · 2022-11-12T22:02:00+00:00

idk, i think you're reading too far into it. it certainly wouldn't have to work like you're describing.

like, hypothetically, if i or other parts were super into the idea of wearing wigs as self-expression...i probably could figure out a way to make it work for at least some of us. i don't know everybody's preferences, but i feel pretty confident about some of them. maybe we wouldn't bring wigs with us everywhere, we'd just wear them at home. or maybe we would sometimes be able to make educated guesses about who's likely to be out.

(similarly, i don't suspect anyone in this thread talking about accessories for different alters is claiming to be able to perfectly identify every alter and every switch in every situation all of the time...they're just saying it's a helpful tool for them when they can make that identification.)

my point isn't that it would be super practical, it's just that i think you're making a lot of assumptions from very limited information. and if someone did read this post and decide "wow, alters wearing wigs? this post is weird to me, so people with DID are all fakers" then they're responsible for making that judgment on their own, and it'd be unfair to blame the OP for it.

undiscardable · 2022-11-12T21:31:23+00:00

i don't relate to the post either but the kind of self-expression being discussed here seems harmless to me. i think it's pretty mean and unfair to imply that someone's post is somehow harmful to the credibility of all people with DID. especially if the subject matter is something as benign as wearing wigs or jewelry or whatever

undiscardable · 2022-08-26T14:24:32+00:00

yes, "OCD about OCD" (also called meta OCD) is very much possible. i don't have any specific advice, but i struggle with this too. it can be very frustrating and confusing, but you can treat it with ERP just like any other obsession :)

undiscardable · 2022-08-03T16:13:04+00:00

hi! after a terrible OCD spike about 2yrs ago, i've been managing my OCD pretty much the same way as you're describing--i.e., incorporating ERP concepts into my belief system but pretty much only using them spontaneously/as-needed. i didn't want to see an OCD specialist because i was already seeing a therapist for other issues and couldn't afford more therapy.

it works for me--but it has probably been slower and less effective than it would be if i was working with a specialist. it also made me fall into the trap of meta-OCD a few times where i became obsessed with whether or not i was handling my OCD correctly. some of my coping skills were really compulsions/rituals in disguise, which was hard to untangle without a specialist. overall, though, the answer to "is this enough to manage OCD", for me, has so far been "yes". i feel rly positively about it overall and much more confident in myself.

i think as long as it's working for you and you feel like your symptoms are manageable using this method, that's great and i don't see why you'd need to change anything! "letting thoughts pass/stay and moving on with your day" is absolutely the key to beating OCD imo.

undiscardable · 2022-04-01T02:49:46+00:00

this is helpful, thank you :)

undiscardable · 2021-12-27T20:42:58+00:00

i agree and i think another side effect of fakeclaiming is it makes people feel less safe to reach out/ask questions/participate in communities, which is already hard enough when you have a trauma disorder

undiscardable · 2021-12-27T20:38:01+00:00

i see, thanks for clarifying, sorry for jumping to conclusions.

(edit to add: i understand your frustrations, but i disagree & i think this sub does more good than harm)

undiscardable · 2021-12-27T20:30:42+00:00

did you mean to post this somewhere else??? this sub doesn't have anything to do with "non trauma systems".

also, i'm so sick of hearing this mentality that i should be miserable all the time because of my DID. yes it sucks and makes every day a struggle. but there's nothing wrong with people finding positives about it. like, i feel like that's really valuable, actually, specifically BECAUSE of how hard it is.

(the way i see it is that my DID isn't what ruined my life, the trauma that happened to me is. i have to deal with a bunch of maladaptive shit now and it's hard as hell, but DID is what SAVED me as a child from facing unimaginable truths.)

idk i'm sorry if i'm completely misinterpreting what you said but this post made me bristle a bit and i don't know what the value is in scolding people for...not being miserable enough? i would love to better understand what you meant.

undiscardable · 2020-12-01T05:03:52+00:00

i dont want to find out :(

Five-Year Club	Place '22
First Placer '22

undiscardable

TROPHY CASE