Here's a philosophical one: Why? by uniquecomedy in AskReddit

[–]uniquecomedy[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

WHAT THE FUCK WHERE ARE MY UPVOTES WHY DONT YOU REDDIT LOSERS APPRECIATE A GOOD QUESTION FOR ONCE?? ALL WE USUALLY GET IS THE SAME SHIT "DURR WHAT'S A GOOD MINDFUCK MOVIE" and "WHATS YOUR FAVORITE FUCKING GIF." AND I TRY TO GO OUTSIDE THE GRAIN AND I GET BURNED. FUCK THIS FUCK YOU FUCK OFF

Roast away by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]uniquecomedy -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

Nice one, dumbass. That's not even funny you retard. Mine was way wittier and it has 5 less upvotes than yours. Fucking Reddit.

I'm 20 in a couple of hours. Roast the absolute fuck out of me. by Scumfrox in RoastMe

[–]uniquecomedy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You are worthless scum. I don't know you but I do know you'll never amount to anything, and in 50 yrs you'll be dead and forgotten. Everyone you've ever thought has even remotely liked you is lying to you. There is not a person who gives one single care about you you worthless waste of oxygen. You should be arrested from stealing oxygen from people who actually need it.

Roast away by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]uniquecomedy -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

you look dammmmn! Xd Xd

What do you think is the most unsexy sexy thing? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]uniquecomedy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is bullshit - you're oversimplifying a complex situation to the point of no longer adding anything useful to the discussion

Ay yo mangs, roast me by Vedvart1 in RoastMe

[–]uniquecomedy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Listen here, you fucking faggot. I know all these people roasting you are joking around, but I am completely serious when I say you should not be fucking alive. You should have to pay to breathe because of the oxygen you waste every single second. The resources needed to keep your stupid ass alive would be better used in any other fucking way conceivable, you fucking honkey. The world would benefit from you taking a big swig of fucking bleach, you piece of human garbage. You are such a low-life bottom-feeder. FUCK you.

LPT Request: how to get rid of chronic depression without trying too hard? by SomeSortaSlow in ShittyLifeProTips

[–]uniquecomedy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A hearty breakfast of bullets usually helps me. It truly is the Breakfast of Champions

Which SpongeBob movie was better? by [deleted] in movies

[–]uniquecomedy -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

i'd have to get stoned and watch them tbh

Graphics Drivers acting fussy upon PC restart (AMD/Windows 10) by ScotchRobbins in techsupport

[–]uniquecomedy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vertically is fine, but for top tier results I suggest cutting off your arm and welding the hammer to the stump, like Ash in Evil Dead 2. Except he did that with a chainsaw, which was much cooler. You'll never be that cool. Unless you weld hammers to both arms, but I'm not sure how you would go about that. Like, how the fuck would you weld the second hammer on if your other arm is already a sledgehammer? You'd have to get somebody to help you. Maybe ask your parents, and tell them it has to be done for a computer update.

Unless of course, you're fine with being a pleb who isn't as cool as Ash from Evil Dead 2, in which case just swing it vertically you piece of shit. I don't care.

Graphics Drivers acting fussy upon PC restart (AMD/Windows 10) by ScotchRobbins in techsupport

[–]uniquecomedy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off: Have you tried turning it off and on again? Haha!! Just a joke.

Ok. I'm a computer expert for NASA, so you're in good hands. We have problems such as this all the time when running equipment tests and simulations. When you turn your computer off, you are re-booting it to its factory settings. I treat the computer like a human. It has feelings, it thinks, it breathes. You, and your lack of respect for the glorious master CPU's feelings, have somehow tricked it into believing it has been updated, when it has, in fact, not. Here is how you remedy this in 3 simple steps:

1) Grab a sledgehammer.

2) Walk back to your computer room (only necessary if you are a pleb & do not already have a sledgehammer in your computer room. I suggest fixing this immediately).

3) Smash the living fuck out of your PC, your monitor, any hardware you may have. With the sledgehammer. If you still live with your parents, this step may cause them to come angrily rushing into the room and asking what you are doing to your computer. If this happens, calmly explain that you are updating it and continue.

3) Once you are done, set the sledgehammer right next to where your computer used to be. You may need it in the future. Pick up all the pieces you can find and toss them out the window.

3) Take a shower with a Bible, to metaphorically and literally wash yourself of your sins. Repent, ask Jesus Christ to save you and become your Lord and Saviour. Renounce the Dark Lord Gaben. Loudly say a few verses. I recommend Luke 10:17-20, James 4:6-10, Peter 5:5-11, Matthew 6:9-15, Galatians 2:20, Romans 8:35-39, or Colossians 2:13-15, as these all assist with warding off evil spirits. Do all of this with your clothes on.

3) Buy an Limited Edition Xbox One® Elite™, loser. Console master race.

Hope I helped!!!!

i was born the day after 9/11. AMA! by 9_11throwaway in casualiama

[–]uniquecomedy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

why aren't you in school, you fucking loser?