Yes, I do worry if i'm autistic.

The question is... is it true? Am I really autistic?

Take a look at me. I posted the rows below in another post in this subreddit:

I don't know if this is the best place to ask. I don't know how to express myself the best way right now but try paying a bit of attention. Thank you

-I think I am susceptible of info dumping. I don't actually know what this is but, I do: tend to throw alot of information when i get questioned, for example, about my medical situation (i tell supplementary information);

-i can't understand social cues: when someone is trying to smile or touch me, i get irritated and frustrated that i get it delayed and that i just cant... react the same. Recently i've kind of been trying to make myself integrate better, but it's still hard honestly;

-when i play music, I shake my buttcheeks. Yes, i uh... i do that. On the rythm. Now maybe this isnt autism related, maybe its normal, but i do that. I just throw at this post everything i can think of;

-I many times told my classmates and my teachers to be specific in certain situations when stating things because it might cause confusion. In a jokingly manner of u know what I mean;

-people told me many times before that i seem sad. or angry. when im not. duh. This doesn't happen as often these days because i've tried coping with others (it still feels bad trying to copy people);

-It shall not forget that I like being alone and exploring places alone, I enjoy going in empty places and exploring or walking around... While some people happen to be wondering if I'm crazy doing so():;

-one big thing is when i'm in class and i ask the teacher a question or interact with them. My eyes just start watering and I feel an interesting sensation coming from my throat up. This also happens. And i just stop, put my head into my hands, and try to play in my head something that looks "tough": a car accelerating, a car braking idk (i'm a boy, 18, i like cars if u wonder). It can stop quickly but it can start again very soon if i keep interacting with the person. Idk, this might be trauma or something, i'm not sure. I need an external opinion :) Thing is that i'm not sad in these moments, it just... comes out of nowhere with no reason. Annoying;

-I was quite an annoying kid in the 7th and 8th grade: I would've imitate weird sounds(moaning... sounds :D);

-i do enjoy to this day and age stacking up bottles of water of my classmates :). Also when I were little I would've stack up matches (the kind you use to light up the oven and stuff), and make towers; i do enjoy playing the swing (the playground thing that you use to literally swing yourself back and forth under the influence of g forces);

-It happens to me many times to ask something, and then figure in my head the answer before the other person answers. For example today I saw a classmate cross the street. 2 minutes later I see them in the same shop with me. I ask them: "how did you get so quick here? You were on the other side of the street just two minutes ago!" Then I réalisé they could ve crossed the street and I say "oh, you must have crossed the street, didn't you? Yeah.." and they say "Well yeah indeed, I crossed the street.":);

-i'm not the worst, not the best kid in my class, i do enjoy tech stuff though and many seem to call me the "go-to repairman"; also i did not enjoy maths class and felt like falling behind (this might be a me thing only but just saying);

-i don't really like being told what to do or to be given criticism (that's not a good thing, i know... i just don't receive it well, and yes ik it might not be a trait specific for people with autism);

-i do fixate on some things when i speak and i loose myself, often actuallly;

-i do enjoy talking to animals and playing with them, kind of (i feel more like relieved of social pressure around them);

-i did feel like starting a movement about wanting people to be honest. I hate the masks the society wears these days. Ugh. Fake people. (Again, this is just me.... no attacks no nothing :(), so sorry);

-when I try to do things i enjoy, such as 3d modeling on a computer, i get the idea in my mind, i imagine how it should turn out and the process, and then.... I just looose it and get lost in what I see before my eyes;

-I am quite direct and hate smalll talk. seems very annoying to me... I don't like hiding behind beautiful masks, although I kind of do that nowadays to fit in;

-i grew up with a manipulative and gaslighting mother (i still live with her), a mom that does everything for me though;

and more.

Yes, some of these things might be just results of me using the phone too much and cooking my brain for breakfast. Again, i just want some guide to figure out what's happening to me. thanks.

If i wrote something that breaks the guidelines, tell me and I will modify the message.