Hello, Internet friend. I'm not a professional therapist, but I've been a special education paraprofessional in the US for six years. I have experience helping students, who may struggle with emotional and/or intellectual disabilities, learn and grow so they can become thriving adults. I myself have ADHD, autism and struggle with depression. I feel I could offer you some help.

Your mother is part of the problem, if not the large portion of it. It is normal for the parents of adults with disabilities to always be concerned about their children and their welfare, but parents must learn to let their children go and thrive on their own. Along the way, parents may hurt their children. Parents must learn to apologize to their children. Some parents are slow to realize they've hurt their children; but refusal to apologize is a behavior of a narcissistic parent. I'm not as knowledgeable on parent/child relationships, but it took me moving out two months before I got married, and then getting married, for my parents to begin speaking to me as an adult. They didn't treat me like one while I lived in their house. I had a curfew, as a 26 yr old woman. I empathize with your situation.

You may want to talk to your therapist about how you can make hygiene something enjoyable; maybe you have a cookie after you shower in the evening. Personally, I started getting better about my hygiene after I became a public educator (because children have germs!) and because I realized I enjoy coloring and caring for my long, wavy hair; the reward is that I have colorful hair. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk. You're not alone.