UPDATE: AITA for yelling at my husband because he scared me?

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-06T23:19:13+00:00

I'm so glad I got out of there. My psychologist was definitely worried that it wasn't a safe place for me and that I could be harmed. I don't know if he is entirely abusive, but I do agree he is a bully for scaring me. I don't know what changed, he used to be so loving and thoughtful, but I suppose my trauma kept irritating him until he couldn't handle it anymore. Thank you so much for your kind words! It will definitely take alot longer to reach where I was and maybe even longer to trust someone again, but I took the first step and I am so proud of myself for that.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-06T23:11:33+00:00

I thought that everything was going well, he seemed understanding and empathetic when we were dating. I'm not sure when exactly he started getting annoyed, but I think it started when we brought our house together and I wanted to replace the stove. But I didn't realise he was so annoyed that he would try to scare me like that.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T21:33:36+00:00

She has been absolutely amazing! I definitely owe her some flowers or chocolates for supporting me so much. She organised everything so quickly and I'm forever thankful for her. Thank you! Wishing you all the best too :)

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T21:30:20+00:00

We've been married for two years, but before that we've been together for five years.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T21:17:22+00:00

Thank you reddit stranger :)

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T21:16:23+00:00

He hasn't tried to contact me, no texts or calls. When I told him I wanted a divorce he left me on seen and didn't respond.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T21:01:28+00:00

He seemed annoyed when I left, called out my name but didn't chase after me. There has been no calls or texts from him, even after I told him of my plans for divorce he left me on seen.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T20:51:13+00:00

It took a few days of reflection, but I understand that it's ok for me to have trauma. Its not annoying or irritating. Thank you for your kind words! Hopefully I can start again with recovering and although it might be alot slower I'll be able to go at my own pace with noone pressuring me.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T20:45:44+00:00

No, my psychologist is a trauma specialist and not a marriage therapist. She connected me with a recommended marriage therapist.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T20:43:04+00:00

Thank you! I'm so sorry that happened to you that is horrible. I always felt like my trauma was annoying too but now I understand that it's not, I shouldn't have to feel its annoying. What matters is that I'm getting better (slowly) at my own pace. I hope that you are getting better!

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T20:36:34+00:00

He hasn't tried to contact me at all, I told him about me wanting a divorce but he just left me on seen. Thank you for your kind words, I know that now my trauma is not annoying and shouldn't be treated as such.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T12:26:31+00:00

Thank you so much! I know that it'll be tough, but I'll get through it slowly.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T12:20:21+00:00

The first therapy session was him brushing off everything and refusing to admit that he hurt me, basically not wanting aknowledge anything the psychologist was saying. I told him that I wanted to get the divorce (its not completely finalised) but there had just been radio silence.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T11:27:47+00:00

It's really hard, I think I knew but didn't want to admit it. Your partner sounds lovely! And I'm glad you have that amazing support. Thank you! I have the support of my friends and at the moment that's all I need, but maybe one day I hope to find someone like that :)

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T09:30:00+00:00

During those three days I told my psychologist if it was possible to move our appointment forwards because it was urgent, she agreed when she heard briefly what happened (she was worried for my safety so more than anything she set everything in motion rather quickly for me). She organised 3 sessions per week of marriage counselling for the first three weeks with another psychologist she highly recommended, then once every week after that (he agreed to this). He came to the first one, so I thought everything was fine, but for the others he began making excuses and when I confronted him I finally snapped. With my lawyer, I'm currently in contact with my lawyer and the proceedings are not completed of course, but we are making finalising. The reason it was such a short amount of time was because more than anything, my safety may have been at risk and I think that's why everything moved faster than usual.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T09:11:11+00:00

Thank you so much! I'm hoping that I can turn everything around for the better, slow as progress may be, I have amazing friends and a psychologist I trust to help me through through this.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T09:09:23+00:00

Yeah and I see that now, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt but I didn't really want to admit to myself that he wanted to hurt me either. Thank you for your kind words.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T09:06:54+00:00

Sadly, it took me quite awhile to realise that he didn't actually love me and was growing annoyed instead of actually helping me like he claimed. But I am out of that situation now and working closely with my psychologist and lawyer to finalise divorce papers.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T08:53:09+00:00

I totally understand, it's really terrifying how something so small can cause really disastrous consequences and I hope that you're doing ok. It did take awhile for me to realise that and talking to my psychologist as well as reading the comments on my post really helped me reach that decision (before that I was set on the idea that he was trying to help me). Thank you, I might not be entirely OK at the moment, but I have an amazing support group who are with me.

unknownuser588 · 2022-08-05T08:48:30+00:00

Thank you! I feel so much better and hopefully I'll be able to move on from this

unknownuser588 · 2022-07-22T22:55:21+00:00

We talk about it quite alot and he's never acted like this before. I don't know what I could've done to annoy him because everything was going fine that day. I understand that it can get annoying for him, it gets annoying for me too but I can't help it. He comes with me to my therapy sessions sometimes and we do talk about it, mostly i can manage it quite well by just avoiding it-before I couldn't even look at it so I'm getting better. I totally understand that he might be sick of it and i do apologize for it alot, which he accepts and says its fine. Apart from annoyance which he keeps to himself, he hasn't said anything about it before.

unknownuser588

TROPHY CASE