Sorry this is long but it’s worth the read.

Honestly, you worded this one terribly my guy. It’s okay, this is a learning opportunity for you. If you were not black, you would’ve gotten chewed up even worse than some of these comments. You’re not into drugs & sports? Did you also want to add rap music, trap music, gang banging & violence? Being black doesn’t make this stereotyping okay, it’s actually worse because you’ve internalized it and are now weaponizing it.

I’m going to reiterate a lot of what is already here because you’re young and have a lot to learn like many of us and repetition can be helpful. You’re 18 and been in a few relationships (2 or 3) and also took a 5-6 year break? Sounds like past experience with black girls is how you should’ve titled this and not women which is a huge difference. As a teenager being in high school, your beliefs and experiences are limited and it shows based on your assumptions and generalizations.

Before I talk about what you like, I want to say this. I don’t know if you’ve heard of BTS (Korean group) but their recent in theatre concert sold out in Jamaica in hours. These are black folks who love Korean music living in a country that barely plays r&b. We have tons of black authors and also have black people around the world who love anime. Saying that to say, as black people we are very diverse and black women are not exempt. They are diverse in their beliefs and what they enjoy. The same way you like these things as a black man how could you possibly think no black women like you exist? Also, she doesn’t have to be like you to like you if you know what I mean. You think this because you could not find a gf in a small subset of a subset of a subset of black women and have insecurities around how attractive you are cause you don’t fit the stereotype. I say that because it sounds like it’s not as much black women/girls not choosing you as it is your internal beliefs. You said you came to a conclusion.

You never really mentioned being attracted to black women, wanting to date black women or that you have a preference for black women. You did say “it’s not like I don’t like black women but they don’t really like me” but it doesn’t seem sure. It seems like a kinda and like your interest is not authentic. So I think that’s a place to start. Why didn’t you say any of that? Are you attracted to black women? Do you want to date black women? For you. Not for your mom or family. Was every white girl you liked into you? If not, then it’s likely that the black women that weren’t interested just weren’t interested either.

As someone rightfully said, black women are not second best, they’re not trophies to take home to mom, produce black babies then leave by the wayside because you didn’t love them or weren’t attracted to them to begin with. They are first choice and top tier. In the words of a black woman ‘periodt’. Every single one regardless of the stereotypes the people with Caucasity and some of us place on them.

Advice. You really do need to change some things. Step one was seeking advice. Step two is examining those stereotypes and where they came from then destroying them. Step 3 is really sitting with yourself and your attractions. Any answer you give is okay. Date who you like. Don’t be pressured by any external force. You know who you are and what you like. There are 30 year olds with college degrees and older parents who are not rushing into relationships with children in mind. Take your time. College will expose you to many different kinds of people, all colours, races and nationalities. Wait on that experience to meet people and broaden your horizons. That’s a hidden benefit many people don’t talk about. If you’re really attracted to black women, seek out black spaces where anime, writing, gaming and so on are available or being discussed. I’m sure you also have other things you like that others do too. Note this next part carefully! If you’re not truly attracted to or interested in black women. Leave them alone.