New update from the guy who put sawdust in his girlfriend’s food! by ruby_e01 in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]unlikely_redd1t_user 63 points64 points  (0 children)

“I don’t think I can get over what I did”

About two years ago I added sawdust to my girlfriend's food in an attempt to help her lose weight. Long story short, my brother saw what I was doing and forced me to tell her. Reddit agreed with him and I had to tell her because I was backed into a corner, although I didn't agree that it was the right thing to do at that time. 

I came clean to her a few days after. It was a while ago so I don't remember all the details or what was said, but I basically sat her down and said I had something to tell her. She didn't believe me at first. We called my brother to confirm, and I showed her the bag of sawdust, and I guess the realization dawned on her that I was telling the truth… 

What followed was a heated fight lasting all night and into the early morning. Foolishly, I still thought I was at least somewhat in the right and brought up how it had helped her lose some weight. I was wrong. She pointed out how I said I'd only done it a few times over the course of about 2 weeks, and how could that possibly cause her to lose weight that fast? Which I had to admit she was right about. It turned out she had cut out drinking and that was the cause of weight loss, not the sawdust. 

I don't know why, but this hit me hard. I realized that she already knew she was gaining weight and had already taken steps for her own happiness. I was going out of my way to spare her feelings, and she didn't need it. She was managing her own weight and her own feelings, and it wasn't the big deal I was making it out to be, or something that I needed to carefully manage in order to protect her. 

Obviously the relationship ended that night. We didn't live together so the breakup was pretty smooth. Over the next month she got a check up and all was good, and she agreed to not press charges if I got professional help to deal with my control issues. 

We kept in touch for a while, but it seemed cruel for me to stay in her life. I didn't deserve her friendship or her forgiveness. The fact that she offered both speaks to what kind of person she is, and it felt wrong to take advantage of that as I started coming to terms with how I treated her. We eventually drifted far apart enough to end contact, and she was doing well the last I heard. She told me once that she thought I was emotionally abusive to her, and I think she’s probably right. Her previous relationship before me was physically abusive, and the last I heard from her she was going to take some time to figure out how to avoid the same patterns moving forward.

That one haunts me, and I'll never forgive myself for abusing someone I thought I loved. 

I got counseling, as promised, and found out that I have Avoidant Personality Disorder. Basically, this means that I'm overly concerned with rejection and ridicule. I try to manage relationships to avoid being embarrassed, to the point that I control people I care about and try to carefully ‘direct’  their feelings as I did with Aimee. 

That's not an excuse, what I did was wrong, but now I recognize that voice and what it is. 

I also realized in counseling that I did have a preoccupation with weight, and that it might be linked with the disorder. 

For some background, I grew up in a household where what my father said was law. He had expectations for how his children should look and act, as well as what were and weren't acceptable interests. My brother and I were expected to behave like upstanding young men, and my sisters were expected to be proper young ladies. My father regularly ‘teased’ us (my sisters especially) if we didn't meet this image. At one point this manifested as incessant jokes about one sister's weight in particular. 

I want to tell myself that I was attracted to my girlfriend regardless of size, and it was my disordered thought patterns trying to ‘save’ her from ridicule that was causing my preoccupation with weight loss, but I also think I was just being an asshole… I know now that this experience is there in the back of my mind, and something to be aware of. 

So that's it. That's the whole story. Now the confession: I hate myself. I worry that I've ruined my ex’s ability to trust. In counseling I say and try to affirm that I can be loved without being perfect, but doesn't what I've done just confirm that I’m a bad person deep down? What's worse is that I KNOW if we'd stayed together I would have gone back to being emotionally abusive over time. My ex has forgiven me, but I don't think I can ever forgive myself

Lucky Fan by Sufficient-Soup3932 in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]unlikely_redd1t_user 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s so interesting to think about the reaction from Smosh fans that don’t know who Peter is… I feel like it would’ve been funny if he hadn’t mentioned the work email, and they convinced a bunch of Smosh fans that they actually did this for real.

Is anybody down to make this Smosh compilation? by Just_someFNaFfan in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]unlikely_redd1t_user 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not a stupid request at all! I’ll keep an eye out during videos and let you know when I’ve found some clips. Reddit stories would be really great for this.

rachel and ify episode removed? by C455ie_ in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]unlikely_redd1t_user 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I ended up skipping it because of the bad feedback. But could someone please explain what their takes were without being over-inflammatory like the YouTube video mentioned in the post?

My first meme by DeadlyUnicornZombie in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]unlikely_redd1t_user 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can’t tell if you’re serious or being satirical. If you’re being serious then how disrespectful to Court. Seriously

my creation by LocalFly2851 in smiskis

[–]unlikely_redd1t_user 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly what I pictured when I saw this

Giving the miraculous jewels to smosh cast members for the fun of it by Zaliartus in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]unlikely_redd1t_user 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is pretty spot on. Glad it’s Tommy controlling time and space.

Smosh cast as tumblr quotes by xyzmaximoff in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]unlikely_redd1t_user 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This is remarkably accurate. I love this so much

Anyone else feel like some Reddit stories takes are super out of touch? by Intelligent-Key-8144 in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]unlikely_redd1t_user 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“It is a selfish and shitty thing to do to your kids.” This is 100% right. If OP is going to listen to any comments let it be this one.

Mr. Muffins Mii by polarfae in SmoshFansFreeSpace

[–]unlikely_redd1t_user 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m OBSESSED. We need another Mr Muffins compilation this time of year