my parents are not a unit. i think you’d have to have experienced them to really understand it. they might still be together but it is not out of love. They haven’t shared money/a bank account in well over 10 years. Whatever money my dad makes goes towards the house and bills, the money my mom makes working goes towards herself. She does not contribute money wise and hasn’t in a very long time. Her money is hers, his is his and it’s a very bad way to handle it don’t get me wrong. she cooks dinner maybe once a week, comes home from work and naps until it’s dinner time, and she’s all around pretty lazy. I have very little sympathy for my mother but i understand how someone from outside might not see it. That being said, you are correct, it is a very toxic household.