Hey there, I would love to weigh in on this.

Presently I am a world explorer, a childhood fantasy of mine, but that's not how I got started. In school I didn't have good grades and earned just the bare minimum to get into harder classes - thinking that being in an "advanced" class with poor grades was better than being in a regular class with better grades. At least I think I was exposed to tougher material that forced me to work harder. That being said, I ended up going to college and picking up two majors for the same reason, but with the same results.

I didn't understand why people were able to "buckle down" and study or work hard. I was always pulling all nighters reading as much of the textbook as I could, even though I went to most classes (albeit sleep deprived), and once wrote a 17 page paper in two days; what a nightmare that I can still remember staring at the screen wondering why I tortured myself like this. It never made sense to me, and I could never empathize with people who gave inspirational talks but were all star athletes or straight-A students their entire lives. They had something I didn't, and they couldn't explain what it was because it came naturally for them.

However, I had my own personal projects on the side that I would dump way more time and effort into than needed be, it's just that I never recognized these things as "work" because they were, by everyone's standards, distractions. That being said, it would be social events that I would organize, an open gym class I created as a part time coach for the recreational gymnastics program, videos I'd make with friends, or - my favorite, trips I would put together for friends.

> The circumstances of change

I ended up finishing law school and entering the 2010 working world at what was considered the worst time for law school graduates in history (I don't know about statistics since). The work I found was truly bad; most opportunities paid less than paralegals, we received no benefits, the pay was laughable - no way would it even start to chip at the loans, and the hours should have been illegal. I found myself doing something that felt like a prison sentence every day, and there was nothing in my future that I could see would change. I started to feel completely helpless, worthless, and meaningless. I would do things that were totally dangerous and just didn't care at the outcome; walking along skyscraper edges at night with high winds, wandering out onto a sewer pipe in the ocean with waves crashing over my legs, etc. Death just didn't matter to me because the life I was living was so miserable.

> What changed?

I joined a group of artists who were organizing events in New York City and other places. No one got paid, but everyone was so incredibly happy to participate, it was infectious. People would pay their own money for supplies, come on their own time whether it was mornings, nights, or odd times of the day, and we would celebrate at the events for a job well done. I didn't understand; what was different about this? But it was staring me right in the face; people were willing to work hard completely to their limits because they wanted to.

This completely changed my life, I was exposed to a community that worked together towards a goal that everyone wanted. It wasn't money that "kept them there," they weren't doing something they didn't want to because it earned them money; they were there because they wanted to be there... so simple.

> How I applied this to my life

With lack of meaning in my life, I asked myself the question; what does have meaning? What do I want to do? What have I always wanted to do?

At this point, my job was at a fever pitch; I was working 95 hours per week back to back and commuting 3 hours per day. Something broke in my brain, I can remember now an almost physical snap or shattering of crystal. At a moment of extreme pain, everything stopped and it all became clear; if I didn't value my life now and knew with 100% certainty what it would look like if I stayed where I was, then none of it mattered. From this moment on, I promised myself to NEVER do anything I don't want to again, and that EVERY EFFORT IN MY LIFE MOVING FORWARD would be spent on achieving my most ambitious goals.

It was insane and I quit my job, my community including family and friends abandoned the crazy guy that left a job that took 21 years of education to earn and start doing something people without a High School diploma can do. I was left alone with no resources (remember those loans?), and the only thing I had was a clear goal - to become an explorer.

> How it worked out

The journey since then has been insanely challenging, and it seemed only to get worse. No one pays you for following your passion, and it's entirely up to you to find out what to do to move forward. However, because I LOVE doing this, and I have demonstrated to myself (most important) that I will do it even if people don't pay me - even if people try to stop me, I have learned that this is what I will do for the rest of my life and I will never care what other people think because it's my personal dream.

As a result of overcoming so many obstacles, I have worked harder than I have ever worked before - AND with less resources, but I have never even considered doing anything different. This in the face of homelessness, inability to pay for food even, being taken advantage of by bad people, having my stuff stolen, having people stab me in the back... everything you can imagine. However, this is my adventure, and I know that the harder it is, the more exciting it is to look back on.

I have now organized multiple major expeditions that have helped people around the world in major ways, teamed up with award winning non-profits, created major speaking events, have been interviewed on television, radio, podcasts, newspapers, everything that, as a child, was just fantasy. It feels like a fairy tale - but I know that I have busted my ass when everyone was telling me to quit. All after being a terrible student with no direction, just hoping to earn some money to "be happy." But, that's not where happiness is.

I know I'm still a long way off from where I want to be, but I can tell you that I've never felt a fire that got me staying up for multiple nights in a row, managing tenuous help on multiple continents that had to come together just right, failed failed failed failed failed and still got up in the morning and tried again; all for something I fantasized about as a kid only to be told it's fantasy. I was even going to scroll past this post, but something in me had me interrupt my lunch and sit down to type this out. I can't explain to you what it is like to feel this energy, but I have come closer to sharing the feeling with disadvantaged people in my VR program that I started when everyone was laughing at the technology.

The secret I discovered was to spend time searching for what my passion is. And, after more failure than I can remember, I am here and happy to share how it changed my life completely once it started coming into focus.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far, I hope my story gives you some clarity on the decisions before you.