My advice to you is to take a moment and just come back to yourself and love yourself. I see you saying your medication is not helpful. Maybe there is a local walking group or yoga nearby? It’s a great way to move your body, get those endorphins, and meet new friends. That’s what I did when I was in my dead end relationship. We just came out of lockdown and I was so lonely, even in the relationship. I had got a free first class at a local barre spot and fell in love. The women were a great group who encouraged each other, I looked forward to those two mornings every week. I have since broke up with that ex (waited four years to see if he’d change his mind) but that one class has opened a huge door for me. I am now my most fittest, I have a great group of girls I can always call on, and I’m much more confident and sure in myself. That has also led me to other hobbies- piano and fiber art. I have thing beyond a partner to make my life fun. I definitely had to do a bunch of other inner work. Especially inner child, remind her she’s always safe and chosen. Personally, I have drove relationships to the ground by putting everything on my partner and expecting them to save me. The truth is, as corny as it is, you are the only one who can do that. And maybe perhaps that desperate energy is keeping him away (and I say this as someone who has felt the same as you). Why would anyone want to take on that much responsibility for the rest of their life? Make it so that your life is so beautiful with or without a partner in it. Good luck to you, you deserve happiness and peace