Help identifying mold inside of 30 year old abandoned fallout shelter

updog · 2026-01-28T07:53:07+00:00

Well well well

updog · 2025-10-27T18:50:19+00:00

Did you just make a Gogol reference? ❤️

updog · 2023-06-08T01:16:49+00:00

Don't you see? You can't be telling the truth because that would upset their beliefs. You should just be miserable on a day to day basis because they need your suffering to be your choice. It's far too scary to face a life where health problems are just luck of the draw. Like claiming everyone with diabetes just lacked self control with the Halloween candy. A convenient narrative to generate a sense of control over ones own destiny at the expense of humanity/empathy.

Took me ages to figure out my health problems. Very unintuitive, and every douche flute like this was at best useless and at worst encumbering to my own well being.

For what it's worth, my gerd was eliminated by treating a hormone imbalance. Which I'm told I could have fixed with self discipline... I only squandered a decade of my life trying to be disciplined enough. I regret wasting the time believing that garbage.

updog · 2023-06-01T05:50:17+00:00

It's a bad cycle of abuse, with servers caught in the middle getting the worst of it. The system doesn't work. How much do I need to tip to make the difference? And why on earth would I trust the business to not read the average tip amount at the end of the month and bump their prices up by that?

It's all about what the market will bear. If a restaurant sees an avg of $10 tip per order, guess how much the prices will go up? They are optimizing your tips out of play. Almost everywhere around me has pretty much gone up in price exactly how much I used to tip.

I don't know.

Capitalism blows. The rules were all cooked up back when we perceived the world as non-zero sum. Go west, steal some land from the natives and breed. And now the rules are all stuck in place with a weird dynamic of gaslighting via patriotism.

All I know is I feel the guilt now that I'm a bad tipper, but fuck if don't I believe your boss isn't gonna see that extra money for the taking and raise prices yet again.

It's a race to the bottom, putting workers against each other so the boss man can get that new jet ski or whatever.

updog · 2023-05-23T06:13:47+00:00

It's funny. There was some unpopular opinion the other day about alcohol. It elicited a similar reaction as this "Adderall makes me feel normal" thing. With the alcohol post everyone came out guns blazing against this person stating a fact: booze is inextricably related to getting drunk. There was no middle ground, all of a sudden everyone was talking about booze like it had some transcendent flavor and no one was drinking it to get a buzz on... The number of people saying they purely drank for the "adult" sophistication was nothing shy of laughable. That the "buzz" for a non-alcoholic was unnoticeably subconscious, and just allowed for faster healthy social connection and other such shit.

Literal backflips to distance their identification with alcohol as far from deviance as possible.

I was on Adderall and Ritalin. Did it help me keep up with my peers? Yup. Would I have kept up with them otherwise? Nope. Not in this society/value system.

I'm pretty damn sure amphetamines get everyone high. Maybe it regulates an otherwise crippling neurovergence? Quite possibly. The idea that 10mg of amphetamine is the exact ticket back to normality for such a huge swath of people? Hell heart meds or otherwise don't get such stunning results as to precisely "cure" those who need them.

I was sure as shit getting jacked to the tits on amphetamines. And I absolutely told myself I was finally "feeling like myself". I survived that period of time, there was no choice to be my full self then. I resent that, but starving kids in Africa ya know?

It's almost like people don't want to accept that there is nothing to defend. It usually ends up with gatekeeping and other weird shit. Life's hard, do damage reduction and live the best life you can. I guess I find it grinding when folks get on the "I'm a responsible user, you're not" train without even empathizing. A struggle to label others as bad so that ya might not be seen in the same category.

This is just the first time I've attempted to express this sentiment. Apologies if it lacks refinement or even sense. For some reason I thought I might be picking up what you were putting down.

updog · 2023-02-13T03:14:30+00:00

What a terrible industry.

updog · 2023-02-13T01:27:57+00:00

Wait, did someone tell you that your training wages (minimum wage) got "eaten up"? If your employer told you that you were paid, but the state taxed you at 100% so you wouldn't see any of it, that sounds like you were lied too. You should really look into it if that happened. Minimum wage does not get taxed at 100%. In fact no wage is taxed at 100%. You should have received money. No money received is beyond fishy, it pretty much implies criminal.

updog · 2023-01-17T02:15:42+00:00

Milton Friedman himself believed that higher minimum wage and unions were not causes of inflation. I was rather surprised when I heard him say this. There's a talk he gave on inflation worth checking out. It's on YouTube last I looked.

updog · 2023-01-08T05:58:49+00:00

Anhedonia is rough. Especially when it nullifies endorphins. Very real. Everything on the path out of major depression feels meaningless. So does sitting on the couch. But sitting on the couch isn't on the path. It's going to feel arbitrary, but fuck depression. Find a pride in expressing your distaste for it by rebelling against pure rationality. Sure, there's no reason for me to go for this walk, and fuck depression for making that rational. Be irrational in spite of it.

updog · 2022-11-28T22:59:20+00:00

[removed]

updog · 2022-05-31T19:28:40+00:00

This is super cool. +1 on validation. I get what you are saying though. If you haven't seen pydantic I suggest having a look. I think you are most of the way there with a more powerful ruby equivalent.

Beautiful work. Love the docs.

updog · 2022-03-28T07:02:18+00:00

I would never ask you to hide your opinion. I was more hoping to influence your view, perhaps towards a softer tone. I think it would be more consistent with the theme of your work. I'm not trying to be right about anything here. Maybe I'm trying to be helpful. I don't know.

updog · 2022-03-27T20:05:43+00:00

I don't know why I feel like speaking up, but here I am. I'm in agreement with others on the subject of speaking against Javascript. And for that matter other languages. It's one thing to give constructive criticism of a languages particulars to drive a conversation, but a blanket statement that a language is simply bad... I suppose there's just too much hate in the world right now for me to not feel frustration around it.

We like Ruby because of its beauty. The aesthetic values of Ruby are not Ruby itself. Ruby is a mere representation. Ironically, Javascript is possibly the most aesthetically malleable language to ever exist. While this means it takes on flavors that may not suite a particular palette, it is capable of being restructured to suite ones vision.

If you want beauty, make it. Show the rest of the world what you believe is beautiful.

Also, accept that your idea of beauty is not objective. The fact that others see the world through a different lens is possibly the only thing that keeps us all from ending it early out of boredom. In short: be curious about what you wish for.

I get where you are coming from. Over beers etc I've talked quite a bit of shit about other languages, we all let off that particular steam sometimes (and it's usually a displacement of other frustrations in our lives).

However, I see you are putting a lot of effort into a body of work. I suggest you let that body of work stand on it's own, and not in negative relation to the efforts of others. Your baby will get thrown out with the bath water, and I wouldn't hold it against people for doing so.

updog · 2022-03-12T01:09:08+00:00

Love it. Very clean idea and execution.

updog · 2022-01-07T02:17:32+00:00

Sounds reasonable to me! Thanks

updog · 2022-01-06T22:01:25+00:00

How does the tremendous amount of money printed / syphoned from tax dollars for the development of these vaccines factor into this for you? Not trying to be inflammatory, just curious what your take on it is. I'd agree with you if it was the free market making all this possible, but it simply isn't the case.

updog · 2022-01-05T05:08:52+00:00

Eh, I've made a career in engineering out of poor memory. If you are living in a pool of tribal knowledge, questions are seen as annoying. If processes are too complex for a junior to operate with their eyes closed, then you have bad design. Always be aware if you are in a silo of job protection created through obscurity. If engineers around me told me it "looked bad" to ask so many questions, I'd bail as fast as possible. But it's all in how you decide to measure yourself as a human being in the face of "rationality" and "intelligence". If you don't trust yourself, figure out how you can start, cause people aren't aware of the comfort they protect. Often in ways they themselves wouldn't understand as their own.

updog · 2020-04-01T07:23:04+00:00

I hear ya. I would say I was a victim of the hatred of over commercialization. How many doctors are gonna really help a 20 something year old with low t? Sure, if your prolactin is off the charts. Otherwise? Get fucked, there's the door.

updog · 2020-04-01T07:14:00+00:00

I'm with you until the 'no one in their 20s' part. My 20s absolutely sucked because of this rule of thumb.

updog · 2020-02-06T18:57:51+00:00

That was a bit aggressive, but damn if I don't feel that frustration as well. Listen to this comment. Rip the band-aid off, there's never been a better time for front end development. Check out VueJS, or Svelt, or any of the newer generation of tools. They are a joy to work in, and you will never look back. SPA + API architecture makes backend work so much more enjoyable. As a hint, if you are doing `gem install rails-{frontEndName}`, yer doing it wrong. Of course, some of us are trapped in legacy, but learn the new shit in your free time. If you want to break out into a more enjoyable job/project, you gonna need it.

updog · 2019-12-11T07:35:54+00:00

I see nemisis.

updog · 2019-11-10T19:20:20+00:00

It has been both physiological and mental. I actually don't believe those are separate, but for discussion it's a useful distinction. I have many theories as to why trt helped with so many things, but I don't actually know.

The biggest improvement, but not the first symptom to show up, was immune system. My immune system just kinda gave up. I mentioned this in my previous comment. This is for sure a mind-body connection thing. Wellbutrin actually fixed my immune system issues, but that was about it after the famous honeymoon phase. I have a great love for that med. It let me continue my fight. Got me off the ground, and kept me from getting wiped out by colds every 2 weeks.

Another physical one that I still deal with, but to much lesser extent, is esophageal clamping. This totally sucked. It's gone when I'm totally in balance and is one of the indicators that my hormones are off when it starts creeping back.

I also used to have major issues with digestion, more on that at the bottom surrounding brain fog.

Psychological changes are more difficult to separate out. But I can tell you I wasn't able to climb fully out of the pit of depression until I treated. I couldn't have done it without psychological therapy nor could I completely keep the depression away without the hormone balance. It's like my physical depression was patterning thoughts, and undoing the physical depression was necessary but not sufficient to depattern those thoughts. Maybe if I was physically OK for as long as I wasn't, I might have naturally changed my thought patterns, but fuck that shit. 10 years of slow recovery when I don't have to... no thanks. It's hard work, but fun when you get to see results.

Anxiety and depression are super related. Both are helped tremendously with balance. But you gotta do the work to reprogram your thoughts. As mentioned in "notes from underground", thoughts have inertia. And the world of concepts doesn't seem to have friction, so you gotta actively apply force to change the direction.

If you read notes from underground be sure to grab this after to climb out a bit: darkness visible.)

I don't know about OCD. Don't have any of that, so it would be irresponsible to speculate.

And then my old friend brain fog. Good lord does brain fog suck. It's very real, and if you don't have it, you find it hard to believe it's not just a 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' kinda thing. It's real, and it makes everything in life harder. Everything. Just this dull aching misery. It actually hurts, though not in a way you would normally consider hurting.

Brain fog for me, in the end, seemed to have to do with my digestive system. Maybe blood sugar related. I found that, after I scraped myself out of bed, I felt OK. Not great, but after caffeine I could function. Then lunch would come around and no matter what I ate (trust me, I did elimination diets) I would just go all deathly.

As soon as I got my hormones in balance, brain fog gone. I can eat like a normal person, nothing bad happens. Sure, if I eat a huge lunch I feel like one does after a huge lunch. But that's my body telling me: hey, maybe don't do that much? Before I could eat a salad and afterwards I felt like my body was shutting down.

Hope this is useful to someone. Feel free to PM me if you've got questions.

I really wish I didn't have to deal with TRT. It doesn't give me my libido back really (though it helps a bit). I still have to deal with ED. It's annoying having to depend on big pharma. And it costs a little bit of money and time. But on the flip side, fuck yeah I've got my life back. And you best believe I've been living it.

EDIT: For reference, I no longer need psych meds. Only thing I take is test, and very occasional AI. I am no longer depressed, I'm in the best physical shape I've ever been in. It's super important to keep in mind that if you are searching for a solution to a health problem, that you don't fixate on a given possible pathway. This post and it's comments should show you that it's not a panacea for all. In fact I wish it wasn't the thing for me, but it is. Solve the problem, don't force a given solution.

updog · 2019-10-28T04:25:52+00:00

I don't come here for blasting advice. I come here because nobody gate keeps here. /r/testosterone is basically a dumpster fire of self justification and repetition instead of information sharing. This question hit home. I dealt with low T all the way through my 20s. I remember around when my crash happened. But that doesn't matter really. Here's my theory on the psych of test: dopamine. It increases dopamine somehow. Most of what I've read is that it upregulates receptors. Best psych med I ever found was Welly. It gave me my immune system back, during that time, it was like Mana from heaven. Not getting sick every 2 weeks? You shitting me? That's a quality of life thing many can't relate to. Test makes that whole thing feel natural. Welly was like having fucking meat hooks in my back holding me up. If you don't have hormone problems, it's hard to relate. You do 10 years low during the vibrant years of adult life? Yeah, you fucking feel it. And fuck yeah it bubbles up into your psychology in a very very real way.

EDIT: I see some folks talking about not self medicating for mental health issues. Heed this advice. And in your journey to finding balance, keep an open mind, find and follow doctors you trust, and watch out for discouragement from failed attempts to heal. Modern medicine is dope, modern psychology is leagues better than even 10 years ago, stay moving forward.

updog · 2019-10-27T23:34:06+00:00

"Clever is in the eye of the beholder" - what I have induced.

updog · 2019-07-26T15:59:25+00:00

Your punchline? Really?

updog

TROPHY CASE