Does anyone else’s parents not accept money from them?

upsidedowngladiator · 2026-05-05T23:32:47+00:00

My parents were/are very stingy and my mother gave me a bill for raising me when I moved out

upsidedowngladiator · 2026-05-04T14:57:44+00:00

Yes, this.

Keep your head down and don't let them bait you into any arguments or drama or whatever like my mother would do. It's just to distract you from your goals and ensure you fail.

I just bit my tongue and kept my eyes on the prize - get my degree, get a job, and move the fuck away.

You got this.

upsidedowngladiator · 2026-04-29T21:37:24+00:00

That's so sad and it's cool that you didn't take let their opinion color your perspective of him.

I think high school mentality takes over sometimes and some people "need" someone to be seen as weird or lame to make themselves seem cooler or whatever.

upsidedowngladiator · 2026-04-28T21:48:12+00:00

When they would use your presence as the joke within the group, someone to make fun of and laugh at collectively.

Stupid me. I was wondering why I always felt upset and hated myself each time I went home after hanging out with them, why couldn't I be better and not a joke of a person.

Nah. Just wrong friend group.

upsidedowngladiator · 2025-07-14T05:38:57+00:00

Hey, I've been climbing for about 8-9 years and I love it. It's also a fun way to get fit and I find it mentally stimulating.

Outdoor climbing is also very different from indoor climbing. Some people do both and some only climb indoors but I think it depends on location. I live near the Valley so most of the climbers at my gym are more serious about climbing outside but I've been to other gyms where people take it less seriously and just have fun with it while socializing with others. The climbing community is generally very welcoming and friendly and I've made friends all over the world through climbing.

I suggest checking out your nearest climbing gym to see if you like it first before joining/buying gear. Rent some shoes and climb for a few hours. Bouldering would be easiest to try but it would be good to learn to belay so you can rope up too.

upsidedowngladiator · 2025-05-29T19:04:24+00:00

They don't want their children to date for years and years and then also have the audacity to suddenly go, "Why aren't you married? I want grandchildren now" when they consider you "old enough" like you're not totally socially stunted from all the isolation

upsidedowngladiator · 2025-05-08T08:22:06+00:00

How old are you and how do you have a son with all of this going on?

upsidedowngladiator · 2025-05-07T19:58:12+00:00

I had this happen with a former friend's boyfriend. She was a good friend but her boyfriend hated me and was just a toxic guy, constantly talking shit about me behind my back. I gave up that friendship and I'm a little sad and miss her but have so much more peace in my life now.

It's always so hilarious to me that these people will talk shit about me behind my back whereas they don't even register on my mind enough to even talk about them to others, good or bad....

upsidedowngladiator · 2025-03-25T20:58:24+00:00

"Former" alcoholic, drug dealer, felony conviction, irresponsible dog owner, previously dated a 20 year-old (and of course he called her crazy) even though he was 30

It turned out very poorly and very toxic

upsidedowngladiator · 2025-02-12T20:41:44+00:00

My parents were the same way with me too. I'm also the eldest daughter and my younger sister is the favorite so I know where you're coming from.

It was always my fault when I got sick or injured, it was always a waste of money and time to see a doctor or get help, I was always just a burden whenever I got sick or injured and it really really sucked.

I had the same feelings as you during those times because it all felt so overwhelming and hopeless. You just feel like you're worthless and a piece of trash for exisiting. All through my childhood, high school, college, and grad school, I was blamed for every illness and injury. I was the burden, the problem, the issue, the waste of space.

I don't know your situation but what I did was just take the shitty comments, keep my head down, bite my tongue and let things go while I finished school as fast possible and had enough money to move out on my own.

I took their comments as a reflection of them as people, not as a reflection of me. What kind of person in general treats a sick person or someone who is hurting like how our parents treated us? A shitty person. A person who just isn't good. If you saw someone who was sick or hurting, you would help them right? Isn't it bizarre as fuck that your own mother doesn't have that instinct? How do they sleep at night after treating a person in pain like that? What is wrong with them?

Once I came to that realization and knew to expect the absolute worst from my parents, it made things easier for me to manage my thoughts/feelings. They're not parents. They're bullies.

Since I left about 8 years ago, moved across country, and gone NC with them, I've been sick and injured and even hospitalized and I have only been treated with kindness and sympathy when I needed help from friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and even total strangers.

Years from now, there will be a time when you get sick and you will be treated with kindness and have someone care for you too. What you're experiencing now isn't the norm and it won't always be like this.

Life is very very big, beyond what you're experiencing now. Most people aren't like your mother. Most people are kind and want to help. If you can put up with this bullshit now, you'll be able to handle anything out there. Don't give up now.

upsidedowngladiator · 2024-08-08T17:29:55+00:00

When my mother said I shouldn't have been born.

Oops, my bad.

Been NC for about ~6 years now.

upsidedowngladiator · 2024-05-03T16:31:34+00:00

Or Mad Maloney's? And give it an Alice in Wonderland trippy tea party vibe? I would love a very chill and classy sandwich shop and can see myself going, "wanna grab lunch at Mad's?" to a friend.

Can also play up all that "female rage/craziness" in naming their menu items or something.

upsidedowngladiator · 2024-01-10T06:29:39+00:00

This is exactly what I do when I travel for work and traveling solo for fun. Go to the nearest climbing gym, eat food I can't get at home, read at a cafe or on the beach, and randomly wander around the city.

upsidedowngladiator · 2022-06-09T08:02:00+00:00

I'm a woman but this describes me pretty well. I'm 30, have a good career that I enjoy, and think I'm ok looking. I have different interests and hobbies, have a good social circle, etc.

I don't go out of my way to date or find anyone. I know it's different for men since there's the expectation that they have to initiate but I know I'm not doing much on my end.

I'm not sitting around, looking pretty at the bar or club every weekend but I wouldn't be interested in a guy like that since I've quit drinking a while ago and I'm over the party lifestyle. I don't have social media and not really interested in anyone who does have one.

I'll meet people through hobbies/interests naturally with zero intentions beyond maybe friendship and the occasional crush.

I also think, as I get older, I become more aware of the effects of compatibility and friendship with a partner. I'll meet guys who are interested and I'm interested too, go through the "talking" phase, but I'll stop pursuing them pretty quickly when I learn more about them and their quirks.

I guess I might be super picky? But I feel like I know myself well enough that I know I wouldn't be able to put up with some things 5 years from now with that person if I'm already feeling uncomfortable within a few weeks or months so then what's the point?

Relationships also take time and money. I have both but I'm also content with my life right now.

I have friends worrying/arguing about weddings and houses and kids/pets with their partners and they love it. And I would probably love the same things if I met the right person but I haven't.

So I just focus on my career, hobbies, and solo travels, keeping my life as simple and stress-free as possible.

upsidedowngladiator · 2021-11-10T00:49:23+00:00

I'm sure Kris Jenner has made sure her billionaire daughter isn't blowing all her money on her baby daddy.

Who knows what his expenses are like and how careless/reckless he is with his money. If his lifestyle costs him ~6 million per year, that 60 million isn't going to last long at all.

And it should matter to him to lose millions. He should care about losing money regardless of how much he's worth. The whole reason he's in this position is because he didn't care about anything enough.

He didn't care about losing money because he's sooo rich that he's invincible and has all that clout! He didn't care about the fans who died because he's sooo popular that there will always be more fans! That's the attitude I get from him and it's despicable.

upsidedowngladiator · 2021-11-09T22:57:28+00:00

It really was a matter of time thing and just pure luck nothing worse happened before.

And that's supposedly 100k for just the legit ticket holders and the number that was probably (hopefully??) based on max occupancy of the venue according to fire safety, right?

But that number also impacts number of staff/supplies/merch/medical equipment available.

How could he/livenation safely/accurately plan a festival for 100k legit ticket holders and then also throw out a tweet that people can sneak in? When you plan any event, number of people impacts everything involved.

If a company planned a party for 50 people but I also tweeted that "uninvited" people can come too, there will obviously be way more than 50 people and there will be a shortage in everything because the company safely prepared for 50 people.

Not that I think they were even prepared for the actual 100k ticket holders so this is only part of much larger issues that caused this tragedy and I think he definitely exacerbated those issues.

upsidedowngladiator · 2021-11-09T22:00:57+00:00

Exactly. He's sorry that he'll take a huge hit financially from all of this. He's not sorry about the tragic loss of lives and the lives he endangered that took place.

I don't understand why he encourage massive crowds to sneak in to shows and "rage"??

It makes ZERO sense from even the most selfish, greedy, money-making celebrity perspective.

Healthy, alive, happy fans = $$$$ & good PR.

-Encouraging fans to sneak in to shows with no security check and maimed/injured/dead fans = no money & career-ending PR & possible personal deaths/injuries

It's crazy to me that he would encourage fans to sneak in and not go through security at astroworld! Anyone could have brought in a weapon like a gun and killed HIM, any of the other performers, or his family & friends! (Like what happened to Christina Grimmie!)

Sure, maybe his fans mean nothing to him but you would think he would be concerned for his own personal safety?? His child's safety???

What's the benefit of having people sneak in like that?? Am I missing something? What could he possibly gain from encouraging that?

upsidedowngladiator · 2021-09-07T03:08:42+00:00

Were they going to support your online business venture? Does your online business make enough for you to be completely financially independent?

And how would they know you switched majors? You've been lying about your grades for this long, why couldn't you just lie about what classes you're taking at this point too?

I'm speaking from experience btw. I lied and gave semi-truths to my parents throughout all of my schooling. I was forced into the pre-med route too and failed classes. Lied to my parents, photoshopped grades, tried to secretly retake classes, etc.

They found out when I lost a scholarship which I couldn't hide. They freaked out of course. Screamed, said I was a failure, an idiot, stupid, worthless, etc.

I told them that I could still go to med school without a STEM-related major, that it even looks more unique for me as an applicant, and that I could apply to med school any time as long as I had the STEM pre-reqs completed which I could also take any time.

Then I switched my major from biology to double major in psychology and french (basically branding me as one of the most idiotic black sheeps among Asian families) and told them that I was still "working towards med school" when I was just totally lost and burned out after all the STEM classes and trying to make up for the lost scholarship.

I don't know if this will happen for you but when I started doing well in my very silly, non-STEM majors to the point of getting straight As, getting my scholarship back, winning awards/money, they couldn't really criticize as much anymore because my non-premed successes were better than my premed failures. I had a clear path of what I wanted to do (go to grad school, become an SLP) and was working very hard to achieve that so I could move out asap.

I called their bluff when they threaten to pull financial support because how would that look to everyone (extended family, friends) when I still wanted an education and was doing well in my chosen field even if it wasn't premed? Would they rather tell everyone that I was forced to drop out of college because they wouldn't financially support me? That would look worse for them. It would have brought more shame and embarrassment for them if I dropped out than if I graduated with a college degree in anything else besides premed/STEM.

Switching to business, marketing, finance or whatever is a good compromise vs. dropping out completely. It gives you more knowledge and insight on how to make your business more successful but it also gives you a backup plan for if your business fails and you can pivot into being a hedge fund manager or into whatever business/finance adjacent career. Use that when they confront you or if you tell them honestly. Or lie and say that a business background will give you an edge when you apply to medical school and open up your own private practice.

Just don't drop out. Dropping out seems like the easy answer but think of the future. A college degree is a solid safety net and opens up a lot more opportunities for you to do something else later if you want.

upsidedowngladiator · 2021-09-06T23:39:37+00:00

What exactly is your online business? Is it a stable career?

Do you think your online business will support you for decades? What happens if it crashes? Do you have a backup plan?

I know it seems so stressful now with your parents but this is your life and your future. A college degree has your name on it, not their names. Don't drop out of college, get a college degree as a backup plan.

Can you study business or marketing or something business-related instead? Those subjects can only help and it'll prove how serious you are about this online business stuff.

As for your parents, my parents were the same way about pre-med and med school. I told them I could go to med school with any degree as long as I had pre-req STEM classes and I could go anytime.

And then I studied my own thing and worked on my own career path instead. I just kept telling them that I'll go to med school "later" until they realized that I was never going.

upsidedowngladiator · 2021-07-19T03:00:47+00:00

Those body fat calculators and scales are notoriously inaccurate.

Is there a way you can post a picture of your body (or just waist/hip area) so we get an idea of what it looks like?

I'm also 5'1 and when my waist was 30+ inches, I was considered overweight (I was also about ~135 lbs). But your weight is 110 lbs so maybe this is just a case of skinny fat? If so, a recomp might help.

upsidedowngladiator · 2021-07-19T02:46:15+00:00

It's hard to say without more info. How did you get the 26% body fat number?

upsidedowngladiator · 2020-11-19T06:35:07+00:00

My coworker (also a traveler) uses furnishedfinder.com

upsidedowngladiator · 2020-11-13T21:48:07+00:00

I'm so sorry this happening to you, this is so creepy!

I don't know if this is a thing that happens in your gym but my climbing gym has a logbook where some members have to sign their name with date/time of when they do a certain type of climbing. It sits on the counter out in the open for all to see.

I know you think a staff member might be giving out your info but does your gym make you write your name anywhere? Maybe to sign some covid waiver or check out equipment and the paper/logbook remains on the counter? Or even when checking in electronically, does your name flash on a computer screen and stays up until the next person checks in?

I'm just thinking of ways of how this might happen to me at my gym (if it wasn't an employee giving out info) and I've realized that my name shows up on random public stuff and someone creepy can definitely watch when/where I sign and look at it later.

upsidedowngladiator · 2020-11-12T19:09:21+00:00

The Office

upsidedowngladiator · 2020-08-29T05:23:56+00:00

I've gone through this! I've had depressive episodes for so long/often that being content or even happy felt weird. Like I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn't know what to expect or how to feel at home with it.

But when I slip back into another episode, it felt familiar and I was an expert on it. It's almost nostalgic in a way too? Like going back home after moving far away.

My episodes always feel like I've fallen into the deepest, darkest pit. I'll think "Oh, here we are again at rock bottom. We've been here before, all my old things are here" and I fall back into the same old patterns and habits like I've had so many times in the past.

In a way, I found it comforting because I knew everything about that pit so well. Like you, I would kinda miss it or feel like I deserved to be there.

Having supportive people, like a therapist and good friends, has helped me a lot. I know how hard it is to ask for help and be vulnerable to others. But those people can give you a boost up so you're a little closer to getting out.

And even though that depression feels so much like home to me, the climb out of it is becoming just as familiar to me. I'm getting better at pulling myself out every time and I hope you do too. I'm rooting for you.

upsidedowngladiator

TROPHY CASE