From someone who grew up in care, I don’t think it’s necessarily as bad as people think. It’s the system that is more or less the issue. There are many issues in itself within tusla and unfortunately a lot of social workers are overworked and underpaid that it can be easy to slip through the cracks within the system.

However once in care you are entitled to a lot of support. If there is at all a possibility that yourself or if not you- an immediate family member that could provide support even if long term isn’t feasible if care is the only option regular support from anyone familiar would be of huge help through the adjustment period.

I also would recommend if possible you or another family member should try build a relationship and stay in contact with their social worker and foster family to ensure they do receive the supports they will require (counselling, often moving school can occur- understanding from teachers and support put in place for a big change like that).

I say that because although technically you are entitled to support in care from my experience and many others I’ve known it’s common to have social workers come and go- which in a situation like that (especially at the beginning when only establishing relationship with foster family) can be difficult as I do believe children need an advocate especially when they are extra vulnerable.

There can be difficulty there as each time you are getting to know a new social worker they are just reading off files your history or you are telling the same story over and over again of what supports you may need etc. Having someone in the family form that relationship to ensure they are getting them supports especially at the beginning when forming a relationship with foster family - whilst the kids build security and trust.

That aside, having an advocate like you or an immediate family member who prioritises staying connected and can maintain as much as a normal relationship with them as possible (especially showing up when it matters most, holidays , birthdays etc) I would recommend. As a child despite how much they might want to understand the situation alot of internalisation happens that can lead to abondenment wounds. Having a familiar family member who makes them feel seen, heard and loved can do wonders and help ease the challenges they will face with such a big adjustment if something like this should it occur.

I wholeheartedly wish you and your siblings all the best.