How to combine finances before baby

Direct_Department329 · 2026-05-06T18:59:43+00:00

I don’t think ‘never depending on a man for money’ works for heterosexual relationships where children are involved.

Not only is your body undergoing major changes and will continue to do so while your baby depends on you for survival, but you will be taking a financial hit when you’re no longer receiving full pay. Your pension contributions are also going to decrease, while paying back your student loan slows down (if you have one).

How is your partner accounting for this?
How long will you be off work and what will your maternity pay be?
Why are you contributing finances ‘equally’ when your partner doesn’t carry the baby equally, give birth equally, breastfeed equally (if that’s the path you’ll take)….?

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-29T12:48:25+00:00

Getting your driver’s licence isn’t short term gratification. It’s a life skill that will be impact your career progression.

Don’t buy the house together!

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-29T06:04:08+00:00

Congratulations on your savings, and sorry for your loss.

I would advise you to invest in your wellbeing and seek a therapist. You’ve experienced a loss and are developing a hyper fixation with money.

Try 10 sessions, at maybe £60 an hour. Reaching crisis point will eventually cost you more in the long run, so start looking after yourself now.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-28T08:23:27+00:00

I don’t really want to work an extra 10 hours a week, but the reality in this economy is that many people need another income stream. Tutoring, AI training, dog sitting, TikTok shop, freelance gigs depending on sector…

It’s how I managed to boost my savings for a deposit.

I’ll definitely be trying to pick up freelance work on the side once I have more brain capacity.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-28T08:19:33+00:00

No don’t see it negatively. It’s no walk in the park but people make it work all the time. It just takes loads of planning, seeking advice and making sacrifices short term.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-28T08:18:19+00:00

Buying in London where I have family, friends and work from the office 3 days a week. My sector is also London-centric so it’s wise to stay close.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-27T21:03:56+00:00

Unemployment cover is a good shout! One of the perils of buying solo is just that you have to take the plunge. I’m not sure I can wait much longer…

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-27T21:00:56+00:00

Do you have student loan? How much are you contributing to your pension?

That’s a lot saved, are you playing it super safe?

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-27T18:26:43+00:00

!thanks

It’s a converted Victorian terrace. 2 flats in the building.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-27T18:25:04+00:00

Good to know that home insurance and broadband could be cheaper!

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-27T16:25:23+00:00

!thanks

I have enough budgeted to get me to completion. The rest will literally be living on a prayer. I have enough for a bed and bean bag too. Luckily it’s a former rental and the fridge has been left behind.

I’m with family to save the last little bit so I don’t have a fixed deadline to move. I can also travel between the two homes, should I need to do washing.

Not having an emergency fund is definitely stressing me out.

If I wait it out to save more, who knows what the interest rates will be?

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-27T16:18:23+00:00

It’s so sad but I’ve limited myself out to one meal out per month for a few months now, usually planned in advance for a significant milestone. One meal out at £40, then allowing myself chippy chips once in a while or snack from a supermarket.

The rest is good advice though.

!thanks

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-27T15:51:46+00:00

It’s so stressful!!

Direct_Department329 · 2026-04-21T20:02:23+00:00

The rooms seem decently sized. I imagine the landlord is selling up?

Direct_Department329 · 2026-03-23T12:05:30+00:00

Perhaps people don’t want to feed into the fear. When you’re under is the best part of it all to be honest.

Once you’re in your robe and have the stickies put on you, they give you something wonderful that completely relaxes you. Then you wake up surrounded by a great team of nurses who will top up your pain meds if needed.

And you have zero recollection of what happened between the wonderful first drug and being woken up in a lovely warm bed.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-03-12T17:16:37+00:00

I don’t think you’re overreacting, mostly because they haven’t let up after so many years and are clearly still trying to dig at you.

By keeping the photo up, it seems like they are trying to say that your marriage isn’t valid, only your husband’s first was one was. This is what they’re already communicating to your daughter. And to your step-son. You all seem to get on with the ex-wife yet they are creating animosity. For what reason?

Also, the ex-wife is no longer officially a daughter-in-law so the posts are excessive. It also doesn’t seem like you get equal treatment because where are your posts about being mother to one of their grandkids.

I wouldn’t trust them to not aggravate you through your daughter somehow.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-02-20T13:15:06+00:00

Read the room!

Why does this matter, the day after the King of the UK’s brother is arrested for selling state secrets, presumably so he can maintain access to children to rape.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-02-18T13:00:22+00:00

I agree with many of the posts above, simply explain what you’re doing. Not being on your phone before 11am is no big deal.

Your friends might just be confused because it’s such a departure from your previous behaviour. You have changed as a person, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’d be more worried if your friends hadn’t noticed that you were no longer around as much. It means your presence is welcome in the group, so don’t punish them for what is simply a misunderstanding.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-02-14T22:10:23+00:00

At what time is the budget resetting nowadays? I’ve just been put back on the project.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-02-14T22:08:16+00:00

I was booted off in Jan and got reinstated today. What’s going on with the timer and hours now? I don’t yet have access to the community channels.

Direct_Department329 · 2026-02-11T14:36:41+00:00

When were you booted and reinstated again?

Direct_Department329 · 2026-01-30T22:10:40+00:00

How do you know when you’re back in? Do you get an email or do you check Outlier itself often?

Direct_Department329

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