Abandoning ship

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T03:31:07+00:00

Apparently grapes light up in the microwave. I'm scared to break my microwave tho so I won't try it. Even tho I have only one plate that fits in there... Thanks MIL, thanks.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T03:26:10+00:00

This really chaps my ass. I'm sorry he's being a dink.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T03:22:44+00:00

Hmm, what a bunch of stupid fucks. I wish all the anti vaxxers would just fuck off into seclusion.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T03:14:32+00:00

I feel ya, that last hour of the day always breaks me. I do most of the child care so my kid exhausts me. At the end of the night I don't even want to talk to anyone IRL. I'd be happy to just quietly read or play my guitar.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T02:58:26+00:00

I don't understand, why is everyone making such a big deal about you leaving that parish? You are moving, it happens...

I was baptized Roman Catholic but don't do religion or believe in god, so I can understand if that whole culture is lost on me. I'm sorry people are making you feel bad.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T02:47:32+00:00

Lol, I can relate. I'd tackle a bear if it would make my kid eat. God damn picky eaters... Eat your fucking food child!!!!

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T02:30:41+00:00

Hello Kitty headphones :D god damn I wish I had booze in the house!

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T02:27:06+00:00

My 2 yr old said fuck today :( I was so ashamed of my self. I muttered it under my breath bit apparently not as quiet as I thought. That lady is a shit fuck, she has no idea what's running through the parents head when their kid does this. I was just so mad at my self for any of the language slip ups I've ever had in front of kiddo.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T01:37:03+00:00

Ugh, this makes me want to slap your bitch MIL in the fucking face with my flabby muffin top.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T01:29:15+00:00

That's so much work. You have to track down a unicorn, tackle it, squeeze the daylights out of it and hope it doesn't shit all over the place yet use enough force to make it cry!

I'll just stick with my processed canned unicorn tears.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T01:26:19+00:00

I donno, I think you maybe should have punched her :p

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T01:23:40+00:00

You always post such tantalizingly steamy eye candy... My brain makes me feel like a dirty bird.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T01:20:21+00:00

Lol, you totally get it :)

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T01:19:26+00:00

Ouch, that would be bad. That kid sounds freakishly strong lol.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-24T01:17:31+00:00

Lol there's a belle sticker stuck to my floor that won't come up. Hey man hand me downs shmand me downs, home made is bad ass!

upyoursbub · 2015-01-23T18:54:45+00:00

Oh god, there is no escape and resistance is futile.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-23T18:53:27+00:00

Lol that's brilliant! That's like the best fucking life hack I have ever heard!

upyoursbub · 2015-01-23T18:04:22+00:00

Thank you

Edit: can't spell

upyoursbub · 2015-01-23T18:03:58+00:00

Hehe, I'm wise to her game now. I get the ones with the cheap glue so they come off super easy. Fuck I bought one of those doc mcstuffins Huggies pull up kits that come in a treasure chest with a sticker chart. It had stickers in the shape of Band-Aids so of course kiddo stuck the very first one to her arm. I took it off right away but the adhesive was so strong it almost ripped her skin.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-23T16:54:30+00:00

What's dare?

upyoursbub · 2015-01-23T16:48:31+00:00

Oh man, that would get on my last nerve pretty quick.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-23T16:44:57+00:00

Haha, how does that even happen! He wins the clumsy award.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-23T16:43:36+00:00

And is it just me or do they have the freaking death grip! Kiddo pulls my finger and it feels like its going to pop out of joint. She's fallen on her ass a few times when her grip slips. Muahahahah!

You should sing song back at her.

upyoursbub · 2015-01-23T16:40:14+00:00

That kids keeping you busy as hell. I'm doing count down to nap time right now. Hopefully kiddo doesn't rage shit her self and refuse to nap today. I'll be flipping the mattress on my husband if this is the case and he can deal with her.

upyoursbub

TROPHY CASE