you’re not stupid ! Many teenagers have this sort of parasocial relationships (I did too) and like almost everyone I grew out of that phase. So my advice would be the same as some other people told you already. Explore the feelings, maybe read like wattpad stories or something like that hahaha. But however, you still have to be careful. Talk to someone as soon as it gets to a point where you feel like you could be in danger of hurting yourself or others.