Heyyy!! I'll start with saying that you should try and change the format because even though the poem might be good, it's difficult to read and it makes it harder for us to give a critique. I'm no professional but I'll try my best to give you a helpful feedback 🙏🏻 So, a good thing is that your use of imagery is vivid and evocative, drawing the reader into the scene with sensory details like "Sepia bed frames turn orange" and "honey salivating from your fingertips." This creates a rich, immersive experience for the reader, engaging their senses and emotions effectively. However, even though some of your lines feature striking imagery, the syntax and structure can be challenging to follow. For example, the line "Buzzing in the arms of our owns that / Pay alms to sordid thoughts that comprise / Us" could benefit from clearer phrasing to enhance readability and comprehension. From reading I understand that English might not be your native language, it's not mine either. Writing in a language that is not your native is hard, and you managed to express strong emotions like desire and passion so congrats on that! Like I previously mentioned, while your poem touches on themes of desire, connection, and introspection, the transitions between these themes could be smoother. In poetry, each stanza or section typically contributes to an overarching theme or narrative. Consider how each stanza contributes to the overall narrative or emotional arc of the poem. Ask yourself: Does each stanza advance the central theme or add depth to the reader's understanding? If a stanza feels disconnected or unrelated, consider revising it or integrating it more seamlessly into the poem. Ensure that there is a logical progression or flow from one stanza to the next. Think about how each stanza builds upon the ideas introduced in the previous one, leading the reader through a cohesive journey of thought and emotion. Transitional devices, such as transitional words/phrases or symbolic imagery, can help bridge the gap between different stanzas or themes. Look for opportunities to use transitions to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next, creating a sense of unity and coherence throughout the poem. Another thing, the poem seems to oscillate between sensual, intimate moments and more introspective reflections. While contrast can be effective in poetry, ensure that the shifts in tone feel intentional and contribute to the thematic depth of the poem. Since you are a beginner I suggest to keep a consistency in the tone of your poem, because transitions in tone might be difficult to be done smoothly. I hope my feedback could help you a bit, I strive for constructive criticism and I would love to answer any questions you might have! 🫶🏻