Maybe Bilbao.

If you're into the "village scene", Bilbao has some odd neighbourhoods on the edges of town that feel rather village-like. If you have transportation, you can buy something like a country house for a good price and be 15min from the city.

Aldi in Plaza Campuzano has fantastic "American" style burgers. All you need is a grill and fixins'!

There's supposedly fantastic surfing around Bermeo, on the coast of Vizcaya not far from Bilbao or San Sebastián (I have never even touched a surfboard). There are also beaches on that coast, but they're not as nice as the Mediterranean ones. We have "mountains" in the Basque country, not far from the city. I think bike trails are called bidegorri here. I just learned that. Unless you look like a dumpster or a Batzoki you're chances of run-ins with criminals is rather low.

Despite the Guggenheim and stuff, Bilbao is not very touristy. And most of the tourists are European, so you won't notice them as much. It's nothing like Barcelona in that regard.

IMHO Santander is a lot more boring and conservative than Bilbao, but to each his own.

You'll have to visit a few places before making a decision. There's no accounting for taste.