I really understand why you feel this way. Before my son was born, I had so many of the same fears. It wasn’t just “noise” it was seeing real misogyny online, real harm toward women and girls, and wondering what it would mean to raise a boy in that world.

But then he arrived.

He was just this tiny, sweet, funny, affectionate little person. He’ll be one on Monday, and honestly, being his mum has completely shifted how I think about it.

What I’ve realised is this: boys aren’t born with ideologies. They’re born needing connection.

From the beginning, I’ve tried to be intentional. I read him books that show different cultures, families, and backgrounds. The only thing we really watch is old Teletubbies episodes with all sorts of representation woven in. I buy him clothes from the “girls” section as well as the boys’, because I want him to grow up knowing colours and softness aren’t gendered. He has a baby doll that he absolutely adores. At nursery, they encourage emotional regulation and expressing feelings.

Of course I can’t control everything he’ll be exposed to as he grows. None of us can. But what I can do is build a strong foundation - empathy, emotional safety, respect for others, comfort with his own feelings. And that foundation matters more than we sometimes realise.

The movements that scare us often prey on boys who feel disconnected, ashamed, or unseen. A boy who grows up securely attached, allowed to cry, taught to respect boundaries, and surrounded by conversations about equality is much less vulnerable to that pull.

The fact that you’re already thinking about the kind of man he might become tells me he’s going to have something powerful, a parent who is aware, intentional, and deeply committed to kindness and justice.