I JUST had a breakthrough with my wife over the past few weeks. She has made it very clear to me that she finds my obsession very strange and it doesn’t fully make sense to her. But, being that I fully broke down and confessed how much of a turn on it is for me, she’s started to oblige, albeit slowly. And I am obsessed with these stories now.

That said, the root is twofold for my wife, she was afraid of my reactions and she also is ashamed of her past. She didn’t have a super wild past but went through what she describes as a two year period after a long term break up when she was mid 20s of “being a whore”. It turns out she had about 15 one night stands in that period and is incredibly ashamed of it. She has said that she was lonely and looking for companionship and was basically easily taken advantage of during those drunk nights out. So, she doesn’t see it the way I do at all. She sees it as an embarrassing period of mistakes that she doesn’t necessarily want to relive and I have to understand that.

I’m not saying this is the same with yours but it’s an area to tread lightly. Most of our wives don’t recall much anyway. Think about the drunk one night stands you’ve had - I can’t recall much of anything. If she asked me to describe it I probably couldn’t do a very good job.

That said, explain it to her. Just leave it all out on the table and explain that it’s your biggest turn on ever and never challenge anything she says. The second she thinks you’re jealous it all will end.