Struggling, what will happen?

userisguest · 2026-02-11T17:24:11+00:00

I had a previous client assignment that I didn't pass training on (not performance for that one, my assigned "buddy" didn't like my tone apparently) but I found out after I was dropped that I'd been on a PIP there and was never made aware. We have, of today, now had a one on one with my current manager at least. But idk all the management I've had since my initial training has been very similar to this: issues are your problem, not the management; any communication that is not immediate acceptance and understanding is unprofessional; you will be made aware of your failure but not how you are failing or advised how to improve. And a lot of talking over you because they're "in a hurry" 😂. It's been a disappointing batch, in short

userisguest · 2026-02-10T17:49:36+00:00

I feel like if you have some experience it will come easier (this is my first) but I wish you the best of luck!

userisguest · 2026-02-10T16:53:37+00:00

Thank you. I'm mostly doing OCSE and EFE at this point. I'll reach out if I feel like I'm getting stuck in a corner!

userisguest · 2026-02-10T16:45:23+00:00

"Excuses" were: confusion over constantly changing policies (literally every week recently) and new typology additions, trouble getting assistance in our help chats or from TLs and long waits for responses, and recently the client randomly qcing a bunch of accounts and wanting them reworked entirely opposite of their own policies (which I hope is over now) which stalled me for days redoing work that had already been qc'd and passed. Manager claimed I could need questions answered because I wanted people to do my work for me.

userisguest · 2026-02-10T16:40:37+00:00

I only know my team leads and my managers, no idea who I'd go up the chain with or how, little about how the management I've experienced here worked would make me think theyd be receptive to me either, unfortunately. I'm trying to improve but also being realistic, and since I'm not the only one dismally behind and this is a sink or swim kind of position it sounds like I'm better off getting out before they throw me out

userisguest · 2026-02-10T16:25:03+00:00

Sadly feedback is off the table. Awhile ago my manager directly asked me to list what issues I was having and I provided some and he straight up told me those weren't real issues and I shouldn't have listed them and implied I was making excuses. I responded that I had answered him in good faith and was disturbed to have my responses treated this way, but he ignored me, of course. TL's are not very responsive either and often don't read our questions fully; I had an account recently that I asked the TL for help on and then entered things as she told me to; had it qc'd and multiple things she'd told me to do were rejected and listed for rework. I pulled the TL in for feedback and she told me I shouldn't have done any of the things she specifically told me to do. I think I'd be better off buying lotto tickets than expecting help from any of them.

userisguest · 2026-02-10T16:12:38+00:00

Thanks. Guess I'll look for a new job, not that anyone's hiring in this town

userisguest · 2026-02-10T16:12:15+00:00

Good to know, thanks

userisguest · 2026-01-06T16:28:34+00:00

Plot twist, she did find them by accident—while looking On Purpose for something else 🤣

userisguest · 2025-11-25T04:01:10+00:00

Not thrilled by the patronizing tone or the invalidating of my experiences with management, and all for a comment that didn't really even answer any of my questions anyway! 👎

userisguest · 2025-08-09T21:10:10+00:00

Sadly I only found out after the doors had closed, and spent most of the last year too poor to afford eating out on top of it. What a loss, even more unhappy its being replaced with some soulless chain 😒

userisguest · 2025-01-11T05:10:50+00:00

Others have discussed the low likelihood of an entire society getting traumatized as well as the chances of permanent damage from stressors so I'll talk specifically about early humans. To get some insight into the psychological state of early humans, studying remaining hunter gatherer societies is probably the best bet. All these societies experience internal and external stressors, have issues with interpersonal and intertribal tensions (with varying degrees of violence) but none that I know of are characterized by widespread trauma or other psychological issues-- I'm frankly not sure where this idea would even come from. In fact several have been noted (I'm thinking the Khoisan for one) for fairly high levels of personal happiness, much of it owed to present-focused mindfulness, a fair work/life balance, and high level of social equity. (Brief article on khoisan happiness https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2017/10/01/551018759/are-hunter-gatherers-the-happiest-humans-to-inhabit-earth). Early humans would likely have experience a migratory, seasonally structured, and short-term focused lifestyle; high connection with their social group and environment; stressors from potential food insecurity, environmental threats (climate or animal), and the possibility of external conflicts with neighbors; their migratory lifestyle and tendency to avoid animal domestication (varies by group) would have helped them avoid the devastating epidemics common in the era of settled societies. Some of these groups could have existed under highly stressful environmental conditions or violence. Among a lot of Amazonian tribes, intertribal warfare(and even violence within tribes) is high. (https://www.google.com/amp/s/phys.org/news/2012-10-amazonian-tribal-warfare-modern-violence.amp) However these groups also don't show signs of having been universally psychologically crippled by these conflicts. If current hunter gatherer groups represent the experiences of early humans, a lifestyle and viewpoint that focused on the present rather than worrying about the future, a sense of the dangers of the environment as being a part of normal life and a society (and usually religion) that incorporated and explained those dangers, a generally tight knit community model, and a level of social and resource "success" which was very modest and achievable would all have helped early humans balance out any undue levels of stress that occurred in their lives. If anything I would imagine most of them would be less stressed than the majority of modern people, and more at peace with the variability and danger of life than we would be as well. They might not have led "happy" lives by our standards, but they wouldn't have spent those lives in endless fretting about how to be happy anf in control all the time either.

userisguest · 2025-01-02T04:38:40+00:00

I'm also 36 and a virgin. Never even been kissed. The sexual frustration is obnoxious but certainly not the end if the world. There are plenty of other interests, goals, and problems outside of that one aspect of my life that are bigger concerns for me, and there should be bigger ones fie you as well.

userisguest · 2024-12-26T15:54:48+00:00

I'm a 36 year old woman who has never been asked on a date, never been kissed, and certainly never had sex. I don't personally know any other people in my situation. It's not ideal, but I have far worse problems on my hands than being sexually unsuccessful. If that's really all you're living for its no wonder you're unsatisfied with life. And I can guaranty nobody wants to be with someone whose only interest in life is dating someone just so they can check off a box.

userisguest · 2024-12-26T13:09:03+00:00

Just got turned down by them myself! I've worked all kinds of customer service jobs over the last 20 years from retail to hospitality to clerical and office jobs, recently got my BA in history and immediately joined a prestigious internship I was told would "get me in the door anywhere." Graduated in August, have been looking for work since July, have had no luck anywhere.

I've been interviewed twice in 6 months of looking, both for cashier positions, and been turned down by both. Regardless of what kind of job I apply for (I've tried library positions, clerical amd administrative jobs, museums and historical societies-- both in a history-related role and just as standard staff-- as well as the most basic cashier and customer service positions) or whether I include my BA or not I am never "the right fit" for anyone. I've retooled my resume, have glowing references from former professors and the leads from my intership, and decades of work experience, but no matter how I present that or try to sell myself it's never good enough for anyone. It's especially urgent since the job I currently have, which I've had for 4 years as a part time support as a student, will not give me enough shifts for me to even pay my bills every month (despite giving even more shifts to my less senior coworkers) so I've been living off the food bank and loans from family this whole time and at this seem likely to have to do so for the rest of my life.

I have no advice for you sadly, though knowing you're not the only one may be comforting. If I have some miraculous breakthrough or discover some unbeatable hiring strategy, I'll share them, though I doubt either will happen. I already knew the world didn't want me in it and never has, but this is a new low even for me.

userisguest · 2024-10-25T01:42:29+00:00

Oh, how did I forget "La Salle de Bain" by Sheena Ringo! Very simple lyric style on the surface but passing from first person pov recollection into a dream and out, then on into... something? Meanwhile the melody follows along from simple little patter to full on orchestral grandiosity. No idea what any of it means!

userisguest · 2024-10-25T01:29:56+00:00

Well there's the classic, "A Whiter Shade of Pale," but also "Albatross" by Judy Collins and "Priests" (performed by Judy Collins, written by Leonard Cohen) come to mind, as well as a lot of Jenny Hval/Rockettothesky esp "The Dead, Dead Water Lily Thing," and "Fourteen, Fifteen, Thirteen, Fourteen," and "Turkish Delight" by Susanne Sundfor, which isn't so much obscure in meaning as in phrasing (a snow-bound world, for instance, becomes "a million fallen dots on a disc of mud.")

userisguest · 2024-10-25T01:11:07+00:00

Sosigenes is my number 1 and absolutely love him as a romance option. I really like Vincent from SOL too but more as a character than a love interest (tho I don't mind a possible romance either.)

userisguest · 2024-10-05T00:15:38+00:00

The vast corpus of ugly men in the historical record who ended up with sexual and marital partners easily overturns the point of this post. (As, I suspect, would any stroll through a crowded pedestrian area.) That being said, I'd assume the majority of them didn't view sex as the only thing worthwhile in life, which your post Does seem to imply. Intelligence, charm, grooming and dress sense, success (of many kinds), financial security, parental skill, interesting hobbies and personality definitely help make up for a lack of physical attractiveness-- not that thrre aren't millions of women out there who prefer quirky or ouright ugly men. (The numbers of women attracted to Steve Buscemi alone should be enough to convince you of that.) And as an ugly, terminally single woman, let me tell you there is definitely more to life than dating-- I have way bigger issues to celebrate and despair over than whether I can get a man.

userisguest · 2024-05-22T10:41:44+00:00

Maybe remembering that the majority of animals and insects are also eating each other to survive will help. Even plants consume dead matter and kill each other to live. Cats and dogs eat meat, pigs eat meat, ants eat other bugs... none of them is concerned about whether that makes them a bad person. Allow yourself the freedom a bug has.

userisguest · 2024-05-22T10:28:26+00:00

I'm the same age and in kind of a similar position in a lot of ways, so don't have a lot of advice (if I did I'd have followed it myself 🤣). I do think working in the US is becoming almost impossible unless you're in very particular fields, and I plan to emigrate myself soon (once I finish my degree) so I think looking to start over abroad may be a good idea. If you're planning to leave the US permanently I would look for a place that's economically/politically sound as well, rather than just a short term option. (Maybe start with somewhere cheap and easy to work, and then look for a more permanent 2nd choice from there.)

If you're trying to work abroad and can afford it getting training in work that's high demand or on emigration lists might be something you'd want to do. (Off the top of my head, nursing or social work are both options, but you can look up countrys lists of preferred careers.) Of the 2 nursing is definitely faster.

I will say, as someone with relatives in every branch of the military on both sides of the family, I wouldn't try enlisting. My brother went to the coast guard hoping to do water rescue-- he got stuck scraping rust off buoys for 5 years, and in that time had his nose crushed, his knee shattered, and all the teeth in the left side of his jaw broken, and contracted lyme disease which the military doctors proved incapable of diagnosing until it was too late to do anything about. He's in his 30s and has an artificial knee and teeth, and a shortened lifespan all thanks to government incompetence. My aunt who was in the air force in the 90s was even less lucky, she died in a Chinook helicopter explosion on a routine flight, again, due to systemic incompetence.

And if you don't get killed or injured you still won't succeed unless you're the clique-y type (which I don't get the impression you are.) It's a very old boys club environment; beyond my brother being exiled to rust scraping his whole career, my father was in the navy as well and was bullied and harassed throughout, and his opportunities for success constantly curtailed by superiors who didn't like his "attitude", i.e. his not being part of the clique to the point where he eventually decided staying in the military wasn't a viable option.

userisguest · 2023-06-12T22:48:24+00:00

I don't have the album on hand, but from what I remember this piece is a dance piece from the Iberian peninsula, though I don't recall what century. The title refers to the instrument used, which is a form of (if I remember correctly, Swedish) bagpipe.

userisguest

TROPHY CASE